Category: Everything else

Not okay

In case you missed it, Donald Trump brushed his lewd 2005 tape as “locker room talk.” The Trump campaign seemed to imply that it is normal for men to discuss assaulting women in locker rooms. No, that’s not true and saying so is not okay. The campaign does live in its own alternative reality, however. So, perhaps that shouldn’t surprise us. Here are six lessons I took away from the weekend –

1. Twitter was on fire this weekend. There’s a dark side to Twitter and that’s a worthy subject of a different blog post. However, during a weekend when there’s so much news and commentary, Twitter is by far the most interesting place to be. I rarely use Twitter. But, this weekend, I was checking my Twitter feed every few hours.

2. There were a couple of very powerful threads on Twitter. One of them was when author Kelly Oxford asked women to share their sexual assault stories. A million women shared their stories. It was heartrending.

3. While the tape caused great damage to the Trump campaign, FiveThirtyEight shared that 10% of Trump supporters actually had a more positive view of the candidate after the tape went out. As Nate Silver put it, this is something else.

4. Muslims lit up Twitter with #MuslimsReportStuff last night. Human creativity and humor are beautiful things.

5. I could sense the false equivalence as I watched the debate yesterday. I could feel myself hoping Hillary came out as warm, inspiring and coherent. As long as Trump didn’t commit murder on screen, he’d probably do okay. Not okay.

6. Back to the women issue, it was nice to see Republican leaders denounce it. However, they all spoke about the fact that they had wives, daughters and mothers to whom this was insulting. Don’t they know any Mexican immigrants? Muslims? What about an example for their sons?
It frustrates me when people keep associating sexual assaults with their daughters. Sure, their daughters are the ones who are affected. But, it is their sons who could either be indulging such talk in said locker rooms or denouncing it.

I decided to cap myself at six. The list is long.

A month or so ago, I had a related post up here. Someone in the comments asked about the idea of voting in protest. I mentioned then that I didn’t have a point of view. I do now. If you share similar values and world view, then Trump is scary. Then again, if you don’t, Hillary is a liar. I still find it hard to believe that you could think she’s a worse human being than Trump. That, I think is a result of unconscious gender bias. Either way, will all this change anyone’s mind or cause them to support Hillary while they were supporting Trump? Probably not. Most people have made up their mind. Their friends who share “news” on Facebook keeps reinforcing that view.

But, I think Clay Shirky’s assertion that “There’s no such thing as a protest vote” is spot on. There isn’t. That’s just the way the system is set up.

Not okay. But, as history shows, realizing that is hopefully a step toward making it better.

Create dots to connect

The famous Steve Jobs commencement speech at Stanford made the line “The dots always connect backward” famous. I love the line and have found it to be true. There’s just one thing I’d add – we have a responsibility to create dots today that we will be able to connect tomorrow.

I have thought about this line many a time over the past few years. There are so many instances when I’ve looked back at a piece of work I did ages ago and have seen it pay forward in ways I would never have imagined. This has especially been the case with side projects. I learnt video editing for a talk show side project in university. Naturally, I became the de-facto creative video editor in the first couple of years at the consulting firm I worked with. I tried reaching out to authors and venture capitalists I admired and have continued to learn tremendously from those relationships. There are many examples at work – the skills I’ve picked up in the past have nearly always come of use.

So, yes, the dots always connect.

But, phrasing it that way seems to let us off the hook just a bit. It seems to absolve us of the responsibility to do something about it now. And, I think that’s because of the implicit assumption – that we have taken the responsibility to create the dots today that we will connect tomorrow.

So, enjoy the feeling of dots from the past connecting. But, every time you experience that wonderful feeling, create a new dot today that you’ll enjoy connecting tomorrow. Take initiative. Build something. Or invest in your learning and share that learning.

Create dots to connect.

One conversation decision to rule them all

There are so many decisions we need to make for conversations to go well. These decisions could range from listening to being constructive to being thoughtful about what we say. However, I’ve come to realize there is one conversation decision to rule them all.

And, that decision is whether or not to take it personally.

If we don’t explicitly make that decision, we might react defensively to everything that is being said. And, once we do that, it is very hard to recover. But, decide not to take it personally and we give ourselves the opportunity to listen, to understand, to be thoughtful and to respond constructively.

The key to making this decision is understanding that the issue is rarely about us. We might have contributed to it. But, it is unlikely it is about us unless we decide to make it so. The quicker we get out of the way, the sooner we can move to prompt resolution.

We have conversations very often. We might as well learn to do them well.

Back the car in at night

Take an extra minute as you park to back the car in at night. This way, you won’t have to spend any energy attempting to back it out in the morning. And, more importantly, you’ll reduce the chances of starting your day with a scratch on your car.

Similarly, decide on your priorities for tomorrow at the end of the day today. If possible, keep the list of things to do and the appointments ready to go.

Finally, if you are planning on exercising the morning, keep your exercise clothes ready next to your bag.

A few small things at the end of the day can make a big difference tomorrow. Done consistently, they can remove a ton of early morning friction.

A good start does not a successful day make. But, it does makes sure you’re giving yourself a good shot at it.

Bright eyed

An executive and former entrepreneur shared a trait he looked for when hiring people – bright eyed. To him, bright eyed stood for the desire to seek and welcome new experiences. It pointed to people who were eager to put learning above all else.

Benjamin Zander calls this shining eyes. He describes the goal of leadership to make sure you surround yourself with people who have shining eyes. He asks – how can we as leaders improve ourselves to inspire those around us?

Similarly, a friend once described himself as someone who enjoyed working with obsessive people who loved learning. He said he always learnt a ton when he worked with obsessive people because they cared so much. It didn’t really matter what they worked on.

The most beautiful part of these descriptions is that they don’t refer to some innate talent. After all, this just means caring tremendously about learning because you realize that it’s a very uplifting way to live this life. Learning enables us all to rise above the small things, focus on our growth and, in the process, help others grow to become the best version of themselves.

Bright eyed is a choice. And, with it, we don’t just choose a better path in our careers (we do that as well), we choose a better life.

If it matters

If it matters to you, let it matter.

The “it” may be something obscure that very few care about. And, that’s okay.

Too often, people go out of the way to over compensate for how they feel about something that matters to them. They pretend they’re above it when they’re not feeling that way. That’s just wasted energy. Alternatively, they get angry with themselves for caring so much about something that should not matter. The key words in that previous sentence are “should not.”

The world is a special place because people care about such a wide variety of things. That ability to care about things that we think should not matter is what makes us weird. And, it is that weirdness that makes us human and special.

If it matters to you, embrace it. Let it matter. Do something good when you get the small things working exactly as you like them.

Which book

Which book are you reading now?

Seth Godin had a fantastic post a few days back called “Fully Baked.” His observation is spot on. Surgeons, lawyers, and the like need to keep studying to keep their licenses. On the other hand, the rest of us can continue working without really reading or understanding what is going on in our domains. His push to us – “Show me your bookshelf, or the courses you take, or the questions you ask, and I’ll have a hint as to how much you care about levelling up.”

Excited? Great. Now, let’s tackle that elusive question – which book do you read? I’ve realized that book recommendations are hard to do right because of two reasons – timing and interest. First, the same books hit us with varying impact depending on where we are in our lives. Second and more obvious, reading a book in a topic or industry of our interest makes a big difference too.

So, when I’m asked for book recommendations, I generally share the link to my book reviews blog – www.RohanRajiv.com. I review and share notes from books I have read here every three months or so. It contains every non-fiction book I’ve read in the past 8 years. They are sorted by category and by rating. Priority 1 or “Read ASAP” are books I consider incredibly powerful. But, that need not be the case for you.

However, biased as I am, I think it is be a good place to start. Once you do this, feel free to send me (rohan at rohanrajiv.com) the five books that sound most interesting along with a sense of what you are looking to explore or learn. I would be happy to recommend a couple based on what I know. You can also choose to take a sneak peek at what I learnt from the “Book notes” link at the bottom of reviews in the past couple of years.

This is probably not exactly what you are looking for. But, it is an open offer to anyone reading this – I am happy to work with you to answer the “which book?” question. It is a great question. One of these books you decide to read is sure to change your life.

I hope it helps.

Might be short

I’ve heard myself say “life is short” many a time over these years. I realized somewhat belatedly the other day that life isn’t necessarily short. It is, after all, the longest thing we do. And, while some lives are short, many live long lives. I have come to realize that what I meant to say all along is that life might be short. And, I think adding that might is rather important.

Whenever I think about this link between life and death, I am reminded of Dag Hammarskjöld’s profound quote – “In the last analysis it is our conception of death which decides our answers to all the questions life puts to us.” My encounters with death have taught me two things – treasure life and those who you love.

Death, to me, is the ultimate reminder that both life and the living are special. Love life. Build things that matter. Make it meaningful. Make it count. While you are it, remember to treasure those on the journey with you and those who choose to love you.

Treasuring those we love is very hard when we are in the pursuit of that elusive mistress – impact. It becomes much easier if we accept one fact – that our life might be short. While it might end up being long – it is a balance of probability after all – we are just so much better living it assuming it just might be shorter than we think or hope.

This is what makes being happy so difficult. It requires us to embrace the toughest of all paradoxes – to embrace the idea that we must build as if we’ll live forever while expressing love like there might be no tomorrow. This might not work. This might. It might not be short. It just might.

The tension of might is how we get made.

Release notes

App release notes are the notes that accompany an app update. Most people don’t read these as they are generally very staid and boring. “v2.1 – bug fixed on pressing send button in screen in some iOS devices.”

Over time, however, developers realized this was a nice way to showcase their creativity. So, companies like Medium, Tumblr, Pinterest, et al, created notes that were a almost random. This evolution got a bit annoying for hardcore users who wanted to understand what was fixed. “Jam packed full of amazing things” and “bug fixes” didn’t do it.

Release notes need to be functional – they need to inform users on what has changed. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t inject creativity. A good friend shared Slack’s release notes as an example of their sense of humor (Thanks Kaushik!). Slack is a workplace collaboration/messaging tool used heavily by engineering teams.

slack-release-notes

Slack has a history of doing this. Just type “app release notes” on Google Image Search. They are specific about the bug (functional) but always describe it with humor.

slack-release-notes

I think of this as an example of doing small things with extraordinary love. After all, release notes could just easily be a tedious exercise. However, you can almost feel the love as Slack works through fixing one bug after another.

We can all add personality and character in the small things we do.

All we need to is decide to do the small things with extraordinary love.

Five career priorities

There are five career priorities –

1. Location
2. Industry
3. Company
4. Role
5. Team/people

Every career choice we make comes back to how we solve for these. We can make career decisions easier for ourselves by keeping four things in mind.

First, we ought to know that it gets harder to change multiple priorities. If you are trying to change just a role or team within your company, that is likely among the easier things to do. It is harder to change companies, industries, locations. And, of course, it is harder to change two or three things at a time. That doesn’t mean it can’t be done. It is just very hard. Location can be particularly hard for those who weren’t born with American or European passports. And, for most people, graduate school tends to a way to enable such change.

Second, every time you make a move, it helps to create a stack rank of these priorities. What are you trying to achieve? And, at what cost? It is rare you are going to end up with the perfect combination. You have to know what you are willing to trade off. Also, I’ve noticed that when most folks make career decisions, they focus on points 1-4. That is natural. There is just one problem – the people we surround ourselves with have a massive impact on our daily well-being. So, beware ignoring the team/people priority.

Third, the first two priorities are the hardest to solve for. So, if we can find a way to resolve this or simply eliminate them, it’ll ease any transition. For example, if you are focused on one industry, you can now focus on four priorities instead of five.

Finally, the best way to think about career moves is to layer a longer term / directional perspective. Instead of attempting to change multiple priorities today, look to work on changing one or two at a time. For example, you can make a move across industries within the same role as a starting point. Then, attempt to change role and so on.

As a bonus point, it is easy to second guess your past career decisions when you try to make changes. It is easy to look around and feel “behind.” But, it is worth reminding ourselves that we’ve gotten here by doing the best we could with what we knew.

Now that we know better, we will do better.