A Learning a Day

Yellow lights. Check.
Good Music. Check.
Solitude. Check.

All of a sudden, I had New Slang playing and I found myself let out a ‘Gosh’ inadvertently.

The song transported me for a few moments to some great memories of nights with friends, huddled up together in a small dorm room, listening to music and talking about stuff late into the night. The stuff varied between philosophy, movies, TV shows and random topics of conversation. This typically ended at 5am in the morning culminating in the traditionally awesome breakfast from McDonalds. There were many many instances when we would somehow keep ourselves awake till 3:45AM to place our Mcbreakfast order..

There were a handful of such nights during those magical 4 years. They typically happened either at the start of the semester, during the first half of the mid semester break or post examinations and every one of them was great. A few, of course, were special.

One such special night came to mind as I respectfully searched for ‘Love story meets viva la vida’. August 8, 2009. One such memory where we exchanged many great songs. I saw the famous Al Pacino ‘Any Given Sunday‘ speech for the first time on this night. I’ve used that many many times. I heard many great songs, one of them being ‘Good Bad Ugly‘ by The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain. I remember that night vividly.

But, the most important song of them all was this masterpiece.

This song became the defining song of that first semester of the final year of university for a bunch of us. And every time I listen to this song, all those memories flash by.

I saw this wonderful quote today – One day your life will flash by in front of your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.

The quote made a lot of sense, especially in the context of this memory. When our lives flash by in front of our eyes, we often see flashes of the best memories, great moments with friends and family..

I had so many of such memories during my 4 years in university that I felt I took them for granted. They are much harder to come by now. They take a lot of work, organization and luck with timing. Those were simpler times.

On the upside, December is coming. And that means some precious time with framily. I am hopeful there will be a couple of such great nights in store for us. I’m working hard to make it happen.

But, such nights.. well, define life and happiness in many ways, don’t they?

And the best part is  – I, sure as hell, am not taking these for granted anymore.

Just the thought of these times ahead fills me with energy and optimism.

Life is good. And I am thankful. 

Either way, I’ve always thought the idea is very cool because it appeals to imagination. You know, you don’t really know the person. All you have done is engaged in a lot of dialogue. You might have spoken about life, your beliefs, your values and of the many things that you care about. You are almost forced to be trusting because there’s no way forward if you don’t believe the person on the other end is genuine.

There’s true romance in that experience, in my book. And when I say romance, I don’t mean the kind that precedes conventional relationships, but the fascination and enthusiasm that we feel when we are dealing with that incredible mix of mystery and imagination, almost like magic. It must have been the case with pen friends. And, with technology enabling us to have access to information at all times, god knows we could do with a bit of that magic in our lives..

Today, of course, a bit of that romance is lost. You can search a person out on the internet and tell whether he’s/she’s bull shitting you. That said, all your online searching generally reveal only the tip of the iceberg. Dialogue is a lot deeper and there’s only so much you’ll be able to find online. Unless, of course, this  person runs a daily blog that results in him/her practically sharing her life. But, in my limited experience, such morons are few and far between.

For the most part, there is still a lot of romance in the process. And that’s been the driver behind one my bigger obsessions of late. Regulars here will have identified themes over time – for instance, many of my posts over the last two weeks have been about focusing on strengths. Another such obsession over the past few weeks has been on building a community here, thanks to my experiences with the community at AVC.

Yesterday, I had more reason to justify this obsession. I met one of the members of the AVC community for lunch yesterday. She’s also an occasional visitor here and we’ve known for a while that we both live in London. We’d discussed meeting up and eventually got around to doing it. It was a fantastic experience. And I was describing it to a close friend who said ‘Ah! It’s like meeting a pen friend!’.

That nailed it! It was indeed like meeting a pen friend. Isn’t it amazing to meet somebody you’ve interacted with a fair bit online, in real life? I can’t wait to meet the rest of those I interact with so much over comments at AVC, on their own blogs and here even.

I have realized  over time that it takes a lot to stop and comment at a post. I went 3 years without ever commenting on a single post I read. And yet, funnily enough, it meant the world to me when I had a comment on my blog. (It still does!) I’m a tad slow on the uptake, but I’m still surprised this took me so long.

Eventually, I got there and nowadays, it’s reached a point where I hardly ever read a post without commenting. I don’t always have something of great value to add but sometimes, it’s just about letting the fellow blogger know that I’ve stopped by and I wanted to say a hello. You know, the kind of quick visit you might pay a close neighbor who you like.

And I realize I’ve been fortunate to have some old and new friends pop by every once in a while here and say ‘hello’. From Fred’s numbers, I see 1 in every 100 typically pops by to say hello. I’ve been luckier here, every once in a while. Thank you.. It means a lot! It’s lovely getting to know you. And for those who have stopped by every once in a while, I hope it will be more often. And for those who haven’t shown up yet, thanks for teaching me to be patient…

Because, following my lunch with my pen pal, I truly the felt the potential power of this experience.

We all meet each other over the ether, every day. Sometimes the communication is one way and yet, sometimes, it’s both ways. That said, we all still meet. Many of you have chosen to share your own experiences, thoughts, beliefs over this space. I’ve obviously known many of you personally and yet, increasingly, I’m meeting many with whom the acquaintance has been entirely thanks to optic fibre and, in some cases, air waves. Isn’t that incredible?

To think that one day we could all get together and meet ‘in real life‘ – that thought never fails to inspire me. It would be like magic!

We’ll get there.

Have a great weekend, folks! :-)

Last week, I had a nice conversation with a wiser friend where we were discussing education, use of intelligence and the like. It inspired me to write about our use of analytical intelligence by focusing on what is wrong with something rather than what is right.

And then, I had epiphany during the week. I was being cynical myself. I was easily lapping up the media portrayal of Jobs as the irrational angry negative guy and was dismissing him as someone who got marketing right.

From that moment, I began focusing on all the things that Steve did right. Every time I came across a theme that resembled a strength, I wrote it down.

This exercise has transformed me. It really has.

It is so easy to be cynical and judgmental. I’d slipped into that zone myself with relative ease. The zone is negative. It doesn’t celebrate wins. It only looks at the downside.

The moment I flipped it around, I could feel the rise in energy. I could see myself learning an incredible amount. Because, funnily enough, while it’s easy to point out someone else’s faults, those faults come with the person’s unique make up and hence, they are unlikely to be emulated.

However, when it comes to strengths or things people do right, there is actually a tremendous amount to learn. For example, it’s easy to rubbish Jobs’ management skills. He was a horrific people manager thanks to his inability to manage his emotions. However, in his 2nd coming at Apple, he made it a point to surround himself with people who complemented him. Persistent folk who managed him. Bloody insightful, this is.
(I will share the entire list once I’m finished with the book. Please remind me if I forget.)

And, to think I almost missed it!

I am amazed.

It’s all in my mind. Sivers shows the power of the very same thing in this wonderful 3 minute clip.

It’s easy to forget the good stuff.

Focusing on the positive is so damn hard. .

But, that’s what makes it worth it.

I was reminded of a story from John Lennon’s life this morning as I was reflecting on a post on a friend’s blog. I’m not entirely sure if this is real or fictional but I thought I’d share it anyway. When he was a 2nd grader, they were sent home with assignments to think about what they wanted to be when they grow up. They were supposed to write this on a piece of paper. The entire class did. Many others put in glamorous professions, spoke of wealth and prosperity.

John’s answer was simple though – be happy was all his note said. His teacher said he didn’t understand the exercise.

He walked away feeling she didn’t understand life..

That story brings me to this brilliant video..

There are 3 sets of people I would like to give thanks to today.

My support system or Framily (i.e. Friends + Family – You heard it here first. :)). I have a post coming on this soon. I’d like to thank these wonderful folks who keep me going. I actually managed to prepare ahead of thanksgiving this year and send out small handwritten Thank You notes. That was a fun project that kept me a work an extra hour every day. I experienced the joy of writing again and I also realized how painful it can be as it takes incredibly long to get across what seems so little. I also realized that, unlike in the computer, you can’t get away with copy pasting. Hence, every note is distinctly personal. It was a wonderful experience.. and I enjoyed every minute of it.

My Teachers. Albert, a fellow blogger, lead the way this morning by giving thanks to teachers who made a difference in his life. And that struck a chord with me too. I’ve been fortunate to have had many wonderful teachers – in school, in university and otherwise. Many of my colleagues have doubled up as teachers as well. And, in many ways, my framily has played a massive role in this process as well.

To all those who didn’t give up on me, thank you. I’m very grateful. :)

You. Thank you for being a big part of this experience. I’ve learnt an incredible amount thanks to blogging. Life has changed in many ways. I find it filled with opportunities. I seem to have slowly made a habit of seeing the opportunity and upside instead of the downside – all thanks to you. It’s nice to know thanks to our friends, Google Analytics and Feedburner, that you are reading these posts. And thanks to all of you who choose to drop by and weigh in with your own learnings and comments every once in a while.

I think this will be an amazing journey and I’m very hopeful, as I’ve said many times , that we will create a  learning movement that will impact many many millions around the world. All in good time though. And all thanks to you for making it work. There’s a reason I chose to blog vs write a personal diary. And you make it feel very worthwhile.

Thank you, in short, to everyone I’ve been fortunate to meet, interact and learn from.

It’s 6.37 in the morning on a chilly day here, and it’s time to head for some exercise. It’s a wonderful day. And a wonderful world. And I’m looking forward to it!

Thank you, God.

‘I love the whole world and all the sights and souunds. Boom de ya da.. Boom de ya da..’

My friend and I were debating about the best day to book for the evening session at the Tennis Masters series at the O2 arena in London. We eventually picked Monday over Tuesday. You can imagine my consternation when I realized later that the Tuesday session featured a Federer v Nadal game. Of course, by then, the tickets had gone up to 300 GBP from the original 30.

No complaints, however. Monday meant watching the Bryan brother and Djokovic, both world No.1’s.

And here is a quick observation from both the games featuring the 2 World No. 1’s –

– Both did not play their ‘A’ game.
– Both lost their first set
– Both could have lost the second set (Djokovic less so..)
– Both of them came back from set down to take the game in the 3rd sets tie break

What did I learn?
There wasn’t visible difference in the quality.

There was, however, a very visible difference in ‘nerve’.

That’s why I chose today’s quote to be ‘We promise according to our hopes and perform according to our fears.’

It just seemed that the champions played without fear.

My tennis coach talks of a moment in the US open semi finals where Federer was serving for the match in the 3rd set. He had 2 match points and the camera zoomed to Novak Djokovic’s face. And he grinned.

My coach pointed out that that moment told you all you needed to know about the outcome of that game. Djokovic ended up saving the match points and becoming the first person in a grand slam to beat Federer after Federer had taken a 2 set lead. Nerve. 3-4 years ago, you would have backed Federer to do the same.

That made me wonder about how it applies to our own lives.

When we are out there doing things – performing at work, performing in competitive sports etc, how much nerve do we display?

Is it the stuff of champions?

Do we persist when the times are tough? And act in confidence and forget fear?

Which spheres of life do we actually behave like champions? Are there any?

And, if not now, then when? 

In 1995, Molly Howard, a longtime special education teacher was entrusted with running the Jefferson County High School. The challenges were easily described – 80% of the school’s students lived in poverty, the teachers had a near-defeatist attitude and the students from the rural south area of Augusta, Louisville, Georgia had accepted a culture of failure.

Howard acted quickly making many necessary changes in the tutorial, counseling and assessment systems. But, her most distinctive change was to the grading system. The new grading system at Jefferson was A, B, C, and NY. And ‘NY’ stood for “Not Yet.”

In one stroke, Howard had eliminated failure and created a ‘No Failure Zone’. “We define up front to the kids what’s an A, B and C,” said Howard. “If they do substandard work, the teacher would say, ‘Not yet.’ That gives them the mindset: My teacher thinks I can do better. It changes their expectations.”

The school was reborn. Students and teachers became more engaged, the school’s graduation rate increased dramatically, and student test scores went up to the point that remedial courses were eliminated.

In 2008, Howard was chosen as the nationwide Principal of the Year, out of 48,000 principals, by the US National Association of Secondary Schools.

How inspiring is that? Every time I find myself coming up short these days, I find myself telling myself ‘Not yet’. Incredibly powerful.

How wonderful a place would the world be if we all used ‘Not yet’ instead of beating ourselves/others up for failure and sub par performance?

Here’s to creating no failure zones for ourselves, and others around us this week! Have a great week all!

Regulars here will recognize the title. I’d done a similar workshop 3 months ago at my alma mater, NUS. As a result, I saved myself some time in the preparation as I was comfortable about the content. Over time, I’ve learnt that the best workshops are where I do as less talking as I can get by with. And this workshop was modeled on the same philosophy. And hence, the takeaways of such a workshop are very dependent on the participants. And, as it is the case with such an experience, I had a multitude of learnings to share.

First things first though. I’d like to ensure all the relevant links are available.

Short Version of Slides: Up on http://bit.ly/lsekillerprezslides. This is a very short version and hopefully, conveys the essence of the flow.

Photos: The photos are up on bEPIC’s Facebook Page

Video: The entire workshop is up on video. Part 1 is  http://bit.ly/lsekillerprezvid1. I trust you’ll find the rest of the parts in the related videos/by clicking on the bEPIC channel. There are 9 parts – Very roughly, the parts are as follows –
1-3: Activity
4-5: Core part of the workshop. We had 14 people present. (We did not video the break outs in between)
6: My content
7-9:   More content and closure .

Overall, the workshop was rated an 8.7/10. And some of the feedback would be part of my learnings. I decided to post this a few days later so as to have a complete list of links (photo, video etc) and also to have some time to reflect on my biggest takeaways.

Also, to acknowledge credit where it is due – Fantastic work by the LSE bEPIC team led by Imla and PK, who were fantastic throughout. They were very responsive in the preparation phase, very good on the day and excellent in the post workshop follow up.

Over to my big learnings –

– Google form preparation. Prior to the workshop, participants received a link to this form. I find it critical to understand their expectations from a workshop. This is massively helpful as it helps me tailor my message.

– Love the new format. I am really liking this new format of workshops where I have the participants involved for the most part. The rough split for this one was 30 mins activity, 1 hour participants content, 15 mins my content and 15 mins closure. Not too bad.

– In war, I’ve found that plans are useless but planning is necessary. I remembered this quote as there were many things that went different from plan. For example, the activity was designed for 15 minutes but since we still didn’t get it, I didn’t feel it right to stop. The other surprise was to have 14 folks volunteer for self introductions. Last time I did this, I barely had 10 (which was the ideal number). And here again, I decided to go ahead with all 14 as I didn’t want to deny an eager participant the opportunity.

– Practicing what I preach. It’s easy to discuss great presentations. It’s hard to learn how to prepare for one. And one of the essential requirements in approaching a ‘killer’ presentation is being thorough. This was the mental battle I fought as we were on the clapping game activity.

I was running behind time but I decided to persist. What crossed my mind then was that the key factor in
approach is being thorough and if we were to skate over the lessons from the activity in the interest of time, then I would be practicing something very different from what I preached. In retrospect, I think it was the right choice to make.

– Embrace everyone, especially those that do not conform. I had a very enthusiastic young friend at the workshop who was bent on making himself heard. And, it was a learning process to channel his natural enthusiasm for the workshop. In this case, I decided to embrace him as my best friend i.e. person I picked out most often during the workshop. :)

And he did a fantastic job and energized us repeatedly with his energy. I’m glad for that.

– Contrasts between NUS and LSE. I had some interesting observations here. The overall rating for the workshop was almost identical. But, the feedback differed
.
In my previous workshop, a lot of the discomfort was caused by the air conditioning which I didn’t notice thanks to my attire. In this, however, it turned out to be being seated on the floor. I noticed a lot of discomfort among participants and their feedback told me as such as well.
I made this choice as the setting is ideal for working on flip charts and adding a bit of variety but I was part pained and part amused to see 18-22 year olds in such pain. I’m not sure if it’s a cultural thing i.e. sitting on the floor.

The other big difference was the energy. I struggled to get 10 volunteers at NUS while here, I had 14 the moment I asked the question. I felt a higher level of energy all through. And interestingly, I came out of the workshop feeling more energized than drained, in spirit.

Both of these are observations and I don’t know what to make of it. I’m eager to hear of any insights on these in the comments..

– Giving it 110%. At the end of the day, it was about what happens on the day and it’s only your effort that you can control. I think it came out alright. I’ve never been able to score above an 8.8/10 in a workshop of this nature and I’m glad this turned out to be at the higher end.

I like seeing the feedback right after the workshop as it’s nice getting a pulse of how people felt. I realize I still get that knot in my stomach when I see a rating of 6/10 right after giving it my all for 2 hours.. but I’ve learnt to accept that people have very different learning styles and it’s hard to cater to all.

That’s work in progress. And, with every attempt, I hope get better. :)