Category: Everything else

Our brain took no chances with our lymbic system – the centre that controls our most basic responses such as fight, flight, or fright – and nestled it deep in our brains. Evolution also endowed us with the pre-frontal cortex that has the ability to override the lymbic system from time to time aided by willpower and habit.

Psychologist Jonathan Haidt simplified this into the analogy of the elephant (or the very powerful lymbic system) and the rider (or the logical, decisive pre-frontal cortex that can guide the elephant, but not fight it).

Faced with a situation our body doesn’t recognize, we are wired to do what’s ‘intuitive’ e.g. if we are lying down and someone we don’t recognize walks into the room, we immediately attempt to straighten up – a gesture of self defence rooted in our ancient distrust of other mammals as a part of a fight for survival. The trouble now is that we are in less need of lymbic system than ever before. Yes, there is still a lot of crime. But, compared to the minute-by-minute dangers we faced 2,000 years ago, we are comparatively much safer.

Progress requires us to get comfortable with the counter intuitive i.e. to develop willpower and strength enough to overrule the lymbic system from time to time. Making friends and connecting with people calls for vulnerability. By doing so, we leave ourselves exposed but there isn’t any reward without risk. 2,000 years ago, the act of getting out of bed was risky. That’s no longer the case (thank god).

A personal fitness trainer remarked recently that gyms are filled with men trying to beef up their biceps and chests. It feels like the obvious things to do – they want to look “big armed” and buff after all. But, looking “big armed” and buff is best achieved by working on triceps and the back. The triceps form 1/3rd of the arm while strengthening the back makes us look taller and has a much better overall effect on our look. Counter intuitive.

More examples of counter intuitive?

The best football managers invest most after they win a trophy to ensure their players continue to hustle and avoid complacency.

The more the chaos and uncertainty, the more we require stillness.

The bigger the downturn, the more open our outlook needs to be.

The more we feel the need to scream at the person opposite us, the bigger the need for us to sit down and listen.

We live in a great time with different rules from times when our ancestors lived. We just need to make sure we give ourselves the necessary software updates from time to time.

This week’s book learning is part of an 8 part series from The Honest Truth About Dishonesty by Dan Ariely. (Parts 1, 2, 3)

We ended last week’s learning with the big question – what is the relationship between creativity and dishonesty? So, Dan Ariely and team tested this with a set of interesting experiments over 4 weeks. Participants’ creativity and intelligence were first tested with 3 activities spread over 3 weeks.

In the first week, participants took a survey to test creativity and measure intelligence. In the second and third weeks, they were tested on their verbal skills, problem solving skills, and general knowledge.

They were then brought together for a multiple choice general knowledge test with a twist. When they were about to finish, the examiner said there had been a mistake with the “bubble” sheets. The only bubble sheets available were the ones with the correct answer shaded. So, would they please use this, erase the right answer, and copy in their answers?

This meant they saw the right answer as they tallied their scores. They would then have to shred the bubble sheets and tell the examiner how many they solved.

The results revealed a lot –
– Individuals who were more creative had higher levels of dishonesty
– There was no relationship between intelligence and dishonesty
– Science has gone on to find a link between gray matter (neurons) and white matter (links between neurons). More gray matter =>more intelligence. The hypothesis is that that more white matter could mean more creativity.
– Creativity, in turn, allows us to stretch the “fudge” factor and tell ourselves stories to rationalize it.

Sketch by EB

“I knew all along the capital of Switzerland was Berne. I chose Zurich without thinking about it” was probably what the participants were thinking as they copied their answers in.

This brings us to an interesting point in our studies on dishonesty. The next step is to explore the effects of “knock off”/fake goods that are sold in the market today. Is there a link between wearing fake goods and being dishonest? Coming up in part 5..

Wish you a happy weekend and happy week!

Today, you are as old and wise as you have ever been. You are also as young and naive as you have ever been.

Today also happens to be the day when we are as advanced as a civilization as we have ever been. And yet, we have a long road of advancement ahead, too.

Today, in short, is the perfect intersection. You at your wisest point and the world at it’s most advanced. Your life is good. Very good. Sure, it’s not perfect. But, you have a lot more than you need and thank god we get what we need, and not what we want. You have access to the sort of resources and tools most of our ancestors couldn’t even have dreamed of. Luckily, a few did. And, thanks to them we live at an incredible time.

So, what have you got planned today that might result in something the future generations might be thankful for?

What have you got planned that might make the lives of the people around you better?

Who are you planning to help today?

Yes, it’s the weekend (I hear you). Sure. Relax. Take stock. Start planning tomorrow. The new week will be here and our excuses for not making the world that bit better will run out..

Ever wonder why some of our best memories come right at the end of a get together, why some of our best memories involve loud laughs at the doorstep of a friend’s place?

Research on happiness has repeatedly revealed that peaks and ends define our memories.

For your next catch up with family/friends, this translates to a nice welcome hug (bonus), a lot of fun during the meet, and, most importantly, a tight goodbye hug after a great doorstep chat.

So, don’t rush the goodbye. That’s what you will remember.

(Applies just as much to any business meeting. The “feeling” at the end is what your boss/team/client will remember. Schedule some time for a great goodbye..)

The less the focus on the now

The less the meaningful work that gets done

We don’t tolerate distractions when doing meaningful work. Why, then, do we tolerate worry?

Yes, I hear you, “it’s a habit.” Find something to do every time you feel like worrying. Jot down 5 things you are thankful for, look at your bucket list and gaze into the future, or go out for a walk. Do it till the act of responding to worry becomes subconscious.

That’s the beauty of habits. They can be changed

“I had to work late today. My boss is so tough on me.”

“My colleagues can be very annoying.”

“I wish I had that job/promotion.”

“I don’t have earn enough to buy that…”

“The weather has been so bad of late.”

Cry me a river. I am sorry life is so hard typing away on a computer in an air conditioned desk.

I’ve learned that there are very things in life worth kicking ourselves for. Complaining, however, is on top of that list (wasting resources is another – let’s leave that for another day).

The next time you catch yourself complaining, remember to give yourself a kick. And, if you happen to catch me complaining, thanks in advance for the tough love..

The statistics on budgeting are bad – approximated at about 30% who maintain a budget. Financial guru’s make budgeting sound like a boring, but necessary, habit that’s good for our willpower and life.  It is. But, you don’t have to just walk down the path of budgeting x% on food, y% on accommodation, etc.

Budgeting can be a really creative process. Here are 3 tweaks that can make it fun –

– ‘I am healthy’ fund. Set aside an amount every month (say $100) for medical expenses. For every healthy month, give yourself a small treat.

– ‘I can vacation in style’ fund. Again, another small fund to pamper yourself to a luxury vacation every year (or whatever maybe your inclination).

– ‘Screw up’ fund. This is my favourite. It sets aside a monthly amount for screw ups and bad purchases. Rather than attempting to erase our screw ups into memory, I believe in creating a honour roll so we can learn from them.
For example, I screwed up 2 years ago by spending $400 for a lifetime subscription for a service I barely used (you could argue I have about >75 years to make it worth the while, of course! :)). Ever since, I’ve instituted a rule that I must sleep over every non-critical purchase above $200.

And, if you have just begun budgeting and set a tight budget for yourself, set a small overspill fund to gradually rein in your budgeting. The great news is that budgeting, like a good life, is a game.

You can design it any which way you want.’

PS: Imagine if companies set aside a tiny amount every month for a “screw up” fund. Don’t you think that will be a LOT more effective than those drab speeches from executives about how they “foster innovation?”

I turned 24 today. The disappearance of the manic high of birthdays past is conspicuous by its absence. It’s been a feature of the past few years – the ‘# of calls at midnight/early in the morning’ index is evidence of that. As a kid, you often feel like the world ought to stop and celebrate you. Now, it’s a lovely opportunity to take stock and celebrate this wonderful life.

The year that went past was among the most eventful years of the 24 that have gone by. I will remember it for many reasons – learning to play the guitar, seeing many new places, experiencing one big success and an accompanying failure; both of which taught me a lot, and getting engaged. Most of all, I think I will remember it as the year that taught me to calm down.

I’ve found myself discovering two insights that Seth Godin describes beautifully in his recent book – that of the infinite game and that of relishing the opportunity to dance.

My own synthesis of these past months involve learning to believe that, whether I understand it or not, the universe is unfolding as it should. We get to play our part in this process and our progress is typically correlated to the effort we put in. There isn’t much more we can do. The success in the game isn’t about making progress, but about just playing. If progress, as we define it, happens, that’s great. If it doesn’t, it’s typically life’s way of telling us to look at the situation differently. Things don’t always work ‘well’, but they tend to work out just fine. We just need to keep focus on plugging away and doing our bit to make the most of this life.. and enjoy the dance.

Voltaire said: “God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.”

His thought encapsulates my wishes for the year ahead. I am working hard on giving myself the gift of living well by getting the simple things right – exercising more, reflecting more, giving meditation a shot, continuing to read, and taking on as much as practically possible so I fail more, learn more, and give myself a chance to accidentally make a positive difference.

Looking forward..

This week’s book learning is part of an 8 part series from The Honest Truth About Dishonesty by Dan Ariely. (Parts 1, 2)

After having understood our tendency to cheat ‘just a little bit’ when given the chance, we left last week with the question – How does the cheating process work in our heads? As a first step in that direction, we’ll explore confabulation.

Two researchers, Richard Nisbet and Tim Wilson, set up camp at their local mall. They arranged 4 pairs of nylon stockings on a table and asked women shoppers which they liked best.

By and large, the shoppers preferred the pair on the far right. When asked for a reason, some said they liked the colour, others said they liked material, and the rest pointed to texture or quality. This preference was interesting considering all 4 were identical.

So, Nisbet and Wilson repeated the same experiment with night gowns. The result – same. Not one cited the placement of the items as a possible reason.

Even when they told the participants that they were actually identical, the participants denied it.

The big learning here is that we don’t always know why we do what we do. The obscurity of our real motivations doesn’t stop us from creating logical explanations or confabulations.

Sketch by EB

Confabulation leads us to a very interesting point in our study on dishonesty. If we manufacture “logical” motivations every once in a while, does our creativity come into play? Taking it a step further, what is the relationship between creativity and dishonesty?

All will be revealed in part 4..

Happy weekend everyone!