A Learning a Day

Good morning.. Have a great day! :)

| An archive.org photo of the 1st website – designed and made by me on Dreamweaver. How cool is that! (However crappy the website may be) It was actually a website with tabs that are listed in bullet points. Wish there was a better picture memory| :)

Another big part of my university identity has been ExpressionHappens – my attempt at an initiative to help people express themselves.

It was after a Nineo all-nighter that we were discussing the Nineo vision (Helping people find work they love..) at the Arts Canteen Burger King. It was a nice morning, we had a lovely view of the harbor and we came to the conclusion that we would have to practice what we preach. So, we began identifying our passions and decided we should do something more with them.. Now, mine happened to be meeting people and talking to them (I’m sure you’ve figured out I’m a big talker by now..) and the conclusion was I should start a talk show! And so it began..

1) Beginnings: So, here I was, the one man manager of my own little initiative – I decided to call it ExpressionHappens and decided I would pick a question and go about interviewing people and put all their views together in a show called ‘Talk it out – where Expression Happens‘. As valentine’s day was just coming up, I went out on a Sunday and interviewed a few people. It was one heck of an experience because about 60% said no to the idea.. And it required a bit of mental training to be okay with the idea of people seemingly rejecting you. And let’s not forget, I was still driven by insecurities rather than any semblance of self confidence.. So it definitely wasn’t easy..

Anyway, I finally released the Valentine’s Day video – my very fast. It was a very badly edited video, but was a start. And then, I decided to keep this going. I did miss a week or two, tried re-engineering the name to ‘Talkdodo’ (Successful internet companies have o’s in their name – Google, Yahoo, Amazon, Microsoft etc.. Hehe) which didn’t last for too long.

A whole set of nice developments took place though. After my 3rd episode, a friend of a mentor who I had met offered to invest $1,000 for a 50% stake in my little talk show venture. I thought it was too low given I had dreams of making it a billion dollar initiative.. Haha. I also began getting some sponsorship – the PGP Non air con indian stall being my 1st sponsor and then an acquaintance who wanted to publicize a website linking to a calling card he was trying to sell. These deals lasted for a while and I felt it had some potential. I was now looking to expand into events. Besides, by now, I had a close friend who was an expert video editor and a couple of others in the pipeline. All in all, it seemed like an encouraging start and I was all set to close for the semester…

Learning: It is extremely hard to begin. It’s the toughest thing, really. Ideas are like tender saplings – they can get crushed with just one strong critical comment. I can think of a couple of times I almost decided against this.. Looking back now, I can’t but thank the lord that I did because of the many many positives that came after.

2) The Mockery Group: Now, a lot of old history was about to be reopened with some circles I was very unpopular with. A few friends decided that the talk show was too crappy for them to deal with (they had to put with it on facebook, gtalk links etc) and they decided it was time to call for a shut down. And they did, in good style – with a nice new facebook group and a bunch of members etc.

By now, I’d already attended a couple of RealAcad’s(a post coming up, soon) and one of the important competitive strategy applications we learn is that all publicity is good publicity. So, if someone is trying to take you down, there can’t be anything better.. That’s in theory of course. Let’s not forget that you are looking at a very insecure 19 year old whose inflated ego is the only driver. Anyway, the best thing that happened is this group activity punctured the ego balloon. I practically went into hiding for a month – wanted to have nothing to do with this ‘bad talk show idea’. After all, a whole bunch of people had said it was rubbish – what could be worse?

You see, the big trouble with insecurity is that a lot of self worth is attached with the opinions of others. The bigger trouble is that more often than not, it is attached to only the negative opinions. By this time, I already had a 100 odd students and friends on my mailing list who had lots of nice things to say about the videos but again, when you are talking about a balloon, all it takes is a needle to puncture it.

That was a tough summer for many reasons (aside from this). It was a rather uncertain period at work and I decided I would do a little more with my life.. Atleast, I shouldn’t let my happiness depend on other’s opinions of me. And I decided it was time to just build on self confidence and remove the ego component. In a quest to get better one day at a time, I started this blog..

Learning: Failure is a very beautiful thing. It tends to open our minds to things we aren’t doing well and makes us humble. I questioned my own intentions and purposes on that day and decided it was time for a change.. I knew it’d take a long time to change my perception of myself. It did take a long time, but it stands among the better decisions I made..

|I was alerted that it was better termed as a mockery group rather than a hate group. Hence, the change.. :)|

3)Talkdodo, back to talk show videos and a look within: For a while, we played around with the idea of becoming a university video channel wherein we would record videos of student cca events and become an NUS news channel of sorts. This changed when we sat down with a mentor to discuss what we should really do.. As we had decided to submit a business plan to SPRING singapore. This discussion involved quite some soul searching and we decided that we needed to get back to our talk show concept.. And we did, we made a video a week consistently for 6 months and learnt a LOT. It was a real test of discipline, planning and the 3 of us in our team were pleased with ourselves.

That business plan submission went very well. After intial discussions, Spring was prepared to invest a sizeable amount under the condition that they would have close to full equity/control and we change the business idea to suit their plans.. We declined again and didn’t proceed as we didn’t feel our work justified the scale of investment yet. Besides, we wanted to learn how to make a good talk show video.. And felt we weren’t there yet. Perhaps we were naïve, but we prioritized our learning over success and it is a decision I am very proud of..

However, when we did reach 50 – we decided that this wasn’t where we had envisioned it and decided we needed to do something bigger, something that would touch more people.. It was that ‘something’ that we called Sparkz..

And that is a story for another day.. :)

Learning: A lot of wonderful things happened thanks to ExpressionHappens. It was my taste at getting my feet wet with 2 very close friends.. It is something I would suggest to anyone who still has years in university left – to try something different, something that they are passionate about. Give it a more formal name, make a website, publicize a bit and have lots of fun.. What better time than our university days?

—

The next big chapter in ExpressionHappens’ evolution is Sparkz.. And as promised, that would be coming later..

And until then, here is my favorite talk show video –

What is your favorite holiday destination?

Hope you enjoy it! :)

I have been such a pathetic listener in the past that I’ve never really cared about what the other person had to say and this insensitive flowed into work till I got strong feedback from a mentor once about paying attention to the tone of the voice of the person on the other end. He said that he would know if a person was ready to talk or not just from the way he/she said hello..

I had an clarification call to make yesterday and the moment the person picked up, I sensed something was not right.. and that was the case. Luckily, I always say ‘Hello – would you have a minute now for…?’ which has helped greatly..

But, picking up a non verbal cue yesterday from a person I didn’t know so well was not a bad thing at all. Just shows how much communication is non verbal.. There are cues all around us..

So, Are we listening?

Good morning..

Let’s put out the right things today! :)

That’s probably the only rationale..
It’s 4:11AM.. I have had a very productive last 2 days and I’m very tired..
My brain’s completely fried and I’ve decided to call it a night..
My FYP presentation (at 10AM) is 90% where I would have liked it to be. There’s no way I am going to be able to make the remaining changes in this sort of state..

And yet, I am feeling very philosophical..

(Tired-ness and sleepless-ness have effects similar to alcohol – I am inclined to believe..)

Philosophical enough to whip open my laptop again and write down a few thoughts. I just finished a whole rant to a close friend.. and here are a few of my learnings, most about myself..

1) Relationships are SO hard to maintain. Especially, when it is a good relationship, it takes only one bad experience to cause a crack that would take twice as much time to repair than it took for the relationship to even build. It is so illogical but that’s the beauty about human emotions.. logic doesn’t work with emotions..

2) I am probably too judgmental.. I find it very hard to forget, even if I have forgiven. That means an experience stays with me for a while..

3) I realize that I am drawn to challenges. If I have none, I make one. How else can I explain my actions?

4) My views on relationships have changed a lot. A big part of this is because of the discipline I have acquired over the past year with systems. I would not have bothered going out of my own comfort zone in terms of vulnerability to build a new relationship at this stage of university.. I mean, why make it harder? It’s hard enough leaving a place I’ve loved..

But, these days, I actually feel that relationships can grow stronger with distance.. That’s one of the beliefs that’s changed purely because of discipline in staying in touch.. Interesting one..

5) I am a people person – not a machines person. I understand the heart better than I do the mind. I understand emotions better than I do logic.. Why do I try to tell myself otherwise sometimes?

6) I’m finding it hard to put myself out there. I’ve not had the need to do for a long time.. and time hasn’t made it any easier..

7) I just read a lovely email today about people being there either for a reason, for a season and for a lifetime. I thought it was a great thought.. I have experienced many who’ve been around for a reason, few for a reason and even fewer for a lifetime..

I think what I’ve been trying to say is that I now like to believe that the lifetime group can expand to well beyond the current few.. a point I would not have agreed with a few years ago..

Here’s to growth.. I guess this is what it feels like.. haha
—

It is time to read the signs – my eyelids are practically shutting down on me. Here’s to 3 and a half hours of good shut-eye then.. and let’s see if I remember this philosophical state in the morning..

One of the amazing things about working hard during a semester is the thought of the flight back home, the seemingly alternate reality of –

i. Not having to do laundry
ii. Not having to go anywhere to get food
iii. Not having to ‘buy’ lunch and dinner
iv. Not having to worry about cleaning the fan as much..
v. Not having ANY submissions..

Wow.. Home! The mere thought always excites me. As I was telling Mom the other day, this trip back will probably be the only time when I leave for home with a ‘Sigh’.. :)

3 Things that I remember..

1)Recharge!: There were a lot of times my trip back home coincided with a tough time at work. In fact, this happened almost everytime and what always ended up happening is that my performance upped right after I was back. I was more positive, more happy, taking myself less seriously and having lots of fun..

Learning: There’s something about going home that complete re-charges and as my mentors commented, it’s a great learning in itself. Next time, I find myself having a tough time and reacting badly, all I need to do is go back home!

2)Long conversations, drives, get togethers and the like: The biggest highlights about going back home are the long long conversations with Mom and a very close friend that await me. These are generally coupled with long drives down the East Coast Road i.e. by the sea late in the night. I love driving, especially late at night and there’s no better time than playing some nice music and driving down the road..

This is in addition to spending lots of time with friends just chatting, hanging around in places around the city, organizing the odd get together or reunion, visits to all my 3 schools and meeting my teachers, meeting old friends, bumping into people I know at theatres, playing some football and having 5-6 glasses of delicious juice from a local fruit shop, playing Fifa on XBOX at Blur.. Chennai is truly ‘home’ and having always been there for the ‘right’ period of time, it’s never ever gotten boring.

Mom and I also have a penchant for the unpredictable. We’ve had a few adventures – the most memorable was a drive down to the city of Bangalore (330km or 5 hours away) at 330am in the morning after watching a good movie to wish a close friend from Singapore ‘Happy birthday’. Then, there are a few others that just make the home experience complete!

Learning: Home has always been the ultimate vacation place and this is primarily again because of the people. At the end of the day, it’s family and friends that make it that way..

3)The Parent’s meet: A very memorable home outing was this December. As we generally hung out as a group of 9 here in Singapore, we thought it would be a great idea to organize a meet up of all parents. We were VERY apprehensive of how it would turn out because while a few parents did know each other, most didn’t.

Anyway, with the aide of an event manager who turned out to be an ex-classmate of my Mom’s from college, the evening was unbelievable! Thanks to Karaoke, the whole group came alive with songs in English, Hindi (i.e. old Kishore Kumar) and Tamil.. Was one of those evening we would remember for a very very very long time!

Learning: It was amazing ‘having fun’ with parents. We saw their youths and funny sides and it felt like we (i.e. the kids) got even closer than before. :)

—
Unlike a lot of other university memories, I am obviously going to continue going home from time to time. However, there will be a big difference.. A close friend mentioned above is most likely off to the states for his masters while another one will be busy at work. A lot is bound to change.. And this is a tribute to everyone at home who makes these trips special!

—
Oh, and I just realized I will also remember surprising family by sneaking in at home in the middle of the night as a surprise 3 times!! They were always expecting me a day or two late (thanks to information planted by me, of course..). Nothing like a nice surprise! :)

Our oral presentation focussed on recommendations for NUS to better prepare undergraduates for careers in the banking and consulting industries. Jasper, Weiying, Glenn and I called ourselves ‘Team Invictus‘ – inspired by the recent Nelson Mandela movie starring Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon.

Since our presentation theme was ‘3’, it is only apt that I structure my reflection into 3 parts.

The Content: This first part refers to the actual work that went in generation our content – interviews and surveys with friends/students who had interned in banks as well as full timers, the head of the career centre and Director of CELC. Almost everything here went as per plan except I would have liked to interview around 35 instead of the 20 we ended up with. It would have further strengthened our claims. Having said that, ours was probably a good effort given it is THAT time in the semester. (I have my final year project presentation tomorrow and another day after!)

Preparation: We did put in a lot of effort into preparation, particularly tying up loose ends. This involved rushing to the engineering dean’s office to find Eunice, Industrial attachment in-charge for data, making a video in a quest to keep our audience interested and attentive.

Of course, the next part was preparing the presentation. Jasper and Glenn did a great job with the slides and Weiying did a great job collating the information. We also had fun thinking of a different beginning to our presentation, and hence started with ‘Shosholoza’ – our team’s anthem taken from the movie.

The Presentation: The only thing that I felt was a blip was that our background was not seen at all. It was a light picture and went absent once projected. I had corrected this in the title slide but omitted to do so in the pre presentation chaos.

Aside from that, I had lots of fun presenting as well as watching us present. Weiying had a lovely person touch, Glenn had a deep convincing style and Jasper and I had a great time with our good cop – bad cop routine! I couldn’t have asked for more from my team. I thought they did great!

The Q&A session was very engaging. We had a lot of good questions that further brought out discussions we’d had in the past amongst ourselves as well as dug out details from our work in the background. All in all, it was a great experience.

It is the first of my last 3 presentations as an undergraduate student and my teammates and classmates made sure it would be one that I would remember for a very long time.

And one last thing, I can’t help but mention our fun photo shoot with Brad in our class room followed by the one with all classmates in a packed S16 lift..

Good morning! Have a nice day!! :)

|Still searching for a better photo..|

Wow.. I’m already into my last school week here. There’s going to be a lot of lasts coming up..

Prince George’s Park Residences or PGPR has been home to me. As one of the management office guys put it, I’m a veteran of 4 years now as I have never checked out of a room in PGP thanks to staying back most vacations for work..

PGPR or PGP has been ‘home’. I still remember the first time I called PGP ‘home’ on phone in my 2nd semester – and still remember Mom and Grandmom saying their hearts fell heavy as my dorm room had become ‘home’ now.. :)

Having lived here – 3 big things I remember..

1) My Rooms:

28-7-K: My most scenic room. I still remember times when I used to walk out and enjoy the breeze on the 7th floor overlooking the harbor.. The only drawback is that the room would get flooded if there was rain and I almost lost my laptop to a shower. Oh, and it was very far from the bus stop = no lectures!

Had very friendly clustermates who had to deal with late night saturday night movie sessions, and did so without too many complaints.. I loved this room!

21-2-E: This one was like a microwave oven. Always very hot! My talk show adventure began in this room.. so sweet memories of video-ing in an around this one!

17-B2-H: I dreaded being in a room in basement 2 but being right next to the ‘forest’ (a bunch of trees really) behind PGP, it was generally pretty quiet. The only trouble was unwanted visitors that included weird looking moths, lizards and the like.

22-3-H: My current room right opposite the canteen. A little low on privacy, tends to be hot at times.. but I love it..

Learning: I realized that we are happiest when we make every place we move into, ‘home’. I was most happy when I finally made my 1st room look exactly like my room at home – yellow lights, a bed on the side(for friends to sit! :)) and great speakers. When we know where home is, we are just happier..

2) Foyer, Blocks and Mcbreakfast: Some of the most memorable times were sitting down at the PGP foyer and blocks with friends and just chatting around..

In fact, one of the more memorable memories was to finish studying and meet together with a bunch of friends at around 5am, order Mcbreakfast and then go to bed!

Learning: As time passes, it’s the small and sweet things that stay in our memories..

3) Lounges, food, chat and game nights: This one is remembering all the nights we stayed playing Risk, often for 5-6 hours with full intensity. Other memories are games of dumb charades which were a big craze last semester among others.. All these nights had a couple of things in common – staying up for chats and then ordering Mcbreakfast!!

|Mcbreakfast generally involved delicious sausage mcmuffin with egg, Hashbrowns, incredibly tasty pancakes with maple syrup and butter|

Learning: Risk divided opinion. Games of risk involved intense strategy often leading to serious atmosphere and arguments. I am on the ‘I love it’ side purely because tension strengthens bonds and would love to do it once a while as we used to.. :)

—

This post doesn’t include the many many many nights spent with friends just listening to music, the many nights spent working on concepts like Sparkz, the many nights spent just enjoying student life. PGP became an amazing place in our 2nd year with food options all the way upto 2am which greatly helped as well(given typical schedules)..

It also doesn’t include the wonderful Georgie’s/Nanyang Mart which always has everything we need, the awesome tennis court and the beautiful sight of evening from foyer..

And in my heart of hearts, I know I’ll probably miss PGP more than I will miss anything else in NUS.. there wouldn’t be any NUS without PGP.. :)

A calm mind.. Here’s why.

I’d just worked out a rather detailed plan for the week yesterday night. It already looked like a pretty tough week with 3 big presentations on tuesday, wednesday and thursday but I woke up today morning(afternoon) and bam – 2 new blocks popped up.

While one is an errand, the other is a task that requires significant preparation and worst of all, needs to be done asap..Now, maybe I could have planned with this in mind, but it doesn’t work like that – does it?

The only thing that could save me is a calm mind..

I, however, pressed the panic button and began reacting – requested a friend for help, told groupmates I’d be late etc.. Only then did I realize that I can be proactive and make the rules and decide how it should flow..

I did.. The week has gotten busier but atleast I’m in control and that’s satisfying.. Should make a mental note to pause more than I do right now when thrown off balance..

Its all in the mind really..

—

I’m having one of those days.. it’s funny how a lot can go wrong all at once! :)