Category: Everything else

Jonathan Haidt developed a very interesting way of describing the relationship between our emotional and rational sides.

He describe the emotional side as the elephant and rational side as the rider.

Perched atop the elephant, the rider seems to have control. However, his situation is very precarious because IF they disagree, there is only one winner. And you will recognize this if you have ever over eaten, called up an ex at midnight, skipped the gym, procrastinated, said something you regretted, abandoned piano lessons and so on. :)

The weakness of the elephant is evident. It is lazy and goes for short term pay off – eg: ice cream vs being thin. When change fails, it is generally because of the elephant.
However, the elephant is also the reason for love, compassion and sympathy – it’s the elephant that gets things done as it has the energy and drive.

Our rider, while responsible for logic, tends to over analyze and over think things and can brainstorm about ideas for hours without really doing anything!

It is only when we understand the nature of our elephants and riders can we truly understand how to bring about change – both in ourselves and in our organizations. For real change, we will need to appeal to both because we need both the rider’s direction and planning as well as the elephant’s energy.

I found the elephant and rider analogy VERY powerful. I find myself applying this to all the goals and tasks I set for myself. The applications for this are endless – appealing to both the elephant and the rider matters in our daily conversations, important presentations, any change effort and probably most importantly, in understanding and managing ourselves.

Here’s to appealing to both our elephant and rider this week!

Today has turned out to be the day.

Since afternoon, I’ve been feeling a certain numbness that signals it’s time for a switch off. So, many plans have been shelved. It’s time for a break. (and that’s the bottom line cos’..)

This is unlike the usual weekend – which is a web of activity. And this weekend was the same till this afternoon.

There were a stream of learnings waiting to be plugged in today thanks to the learning filled last few weeks.

I almost began typing one out but decided today’s learning had to be about today’s learning.

Switching off.

Have a nice evening.

PS: I’m very excited about reading ‘Gifts Differing’ by Isabel Briggs Myers. I bought the book yesterday and can’t wait to spend some time with it. Yes, I am weird. And I’m still trying to understand myself. :) More to follow..

Going by this definition, I was your classic owl. Before work-life began, getting up in the morning meant an unproductive and dreary day. Over time though, I’ve begun to wonder if my ‘owl’ tendencies were a result of my expression of rebellion in my teenage years. My grandparents didn’t at all appreciate the fact that I was up studying at inhuman hours (in their definition atleast). Over time, of course, they came to accept it. And, in hindsight, I think I loved doing something they disapproved with good enough results. (My way is better, etc..)

I used to like working into the night primarily because it was productive. No interruptions or disturbances at the inhuman hours. Interestingly, by that argument, waking up early works just as well.

One year into work life, I seem very happy being a ‘lark’. My ideal day starts at 6am, followed by my ‘hour of power’ and then the work day. I’ve noticed over time that my days just flow better when I wake up early vs staying up late. And now, the challenge is to find the discipline to get my regular quota of sleep and wake up early enough.

So, again, by the definition, I must now be a ‘hummingbird’.

Let’s consider the situation for a moment here. As a university student, being an ‘owl’ is natural order. Going to sleep before 2AM was rare. That changes when you start working of course.

Of late, I’m realizing that what looks like a people problem is often a situation problem. In this case, while it’s not a ‘problem’ in the traditional sense of the world, I’m beginning to wonder if the behavior is just a manifestation of the situation.

I have more questions than answers on this one. I began wondering about this when I thought of university – if you go by the ‘owl’ and ‘lark’ view of the world, it would seem that >90% of university students are ‘owls’. Now, that can’t be true, can it?

So, when are you most productive? And does this ‘owl’ and ‘lark’ view of the world make sense to you? Looking forward to your comments.. 

Proximity didn’t matter. It even spread across geographies. What happens is that we change our idea of what is an acceptable body type by looking at the people around us.

Another study showed that when college males were paired with a dormitory roommate who drank frequently in high school, they saw their GPA’s drop by 0.25 on average.

Marriage, smoking, shaking hands to greet someone, wearing fashionably fluffy boots and investing in Google are a few examples of an endless list of contagious behavior.

We imitate people around us especially when a situation is ambiguous. For ambiguous situations, think starting in a new job or starting out as a freshman in university.

Essentially, if we want to change things, we have to pay close attention to social signals.

I was very inspired when I heard this on ‘Switch’ this morning. It brings to attention (again) the question of the season – Who do you spend your time with? :)

And more importantly, the presence of a behavior like ‘marriage’ amidst low GPA’s and tobacco reinforces that fact that all kinds of behavior have hope.

The Silicon valley has proved that over time with an incredible tolerance for failure and mistakes.

Perhaps the daily learning habit and ‘learner’ behavior will get contagious as well. Someday.

That hasn’t changed with work, of course. If anything, the breaks have become shorter.

Over time, I’ve gone through a learning curve when it comes to taking trips back ‘home’ or to ‘home-like’ places to meet loved ones, close friends, family. In my first few trips, I used to try and jam everything and everyone in. So, my breaks were never truly ‘breaks’. They felt like work. And I never had enough of anything. When I was meeting one friend, I had to ensure I was off soon because a whole bunch of such catch ups would be ruined. Heck, I was busier during vacations than any other time of the year!

I also realized I often came back from such ‘breaks’ unsatisfied. They were busy, but not meaningful.

There were 2 big realizations that changed that. The first was the importance of putting ourselves on top of the holiday priority list and the second was by focusing on making catch ups and conversations meaningful.

The first required a lot of practice in terms of using my self discipline muscle to say ‘NO’ when a No was required. And the second has involved a real effort to have few catch ups, but to keep them meaningful.

I was in Singapore for a few days to get my Permanent Residency and this realistically meant one weekend and maybe a couple of other evenings of catch up time. And the focus on keeping it meaningful was, hence, paramount. The way our lives go these days, we can talk so much without really saying anything. And when you live a few thousand miles away and get to meet only for a couple of hours every few months, such conversations can be both frustrating and useless. Meeting friends/loved ones at nice restaurants, at old ‘haunts’ or in a different environment altogether have worked well for me as great environments to catch up. Playing Risk all night with friends, as I always realize, is another fantastic excuse to spend time and connect.  :)

And as is the case with relationships, staying in touch while being away also help us pick up from where we left off. As a friend put it nicely, you can’t tune in and tune out of relationships. You’re either in them or are getting phased out.

There’s no perfect formula to making such meets meaningful. Most of all, I’ve found that it takes a desire to make them count. And I’ve found that I’m quite enjoying such ‘catch up’ trips of late as I’m getting better at managing myself and my energy during these trips. This trip was one such example.

It was short. But meaningful. 

But, there’s also a special truth about great learnings – they touch a chord every time we remember them. So, when I received this today, I thought I would share..

—
The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip.

You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.

4 Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.

These are not second-rate achievers.

They are the best in their fields.

But the applause dies.

Awards tarnish.

Achievements are forgotten.

Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier? The lesson:

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money or the most awards.

They simply are the ones who care the most.

Let’s spend a moment a moment thinking about those who’ve made a difference in our lives. And if you haven’t written to them in a long time, do send them a note.. :)

Oh, and don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia!

Be Yourself! Everyone Else Is Taken!

On a Saturday afternoon in the year 2000, movie goers had settled in their seats for the movie ‘Payback’. They were given soft drink and popcorn.
There was something unusual with the popcorn though – it was wretched! It had been popped 5 days earlier and was stale.

Half got a medium size bucket while the remaining got a large size. Both buckets were so big that no one could finish either. At the end of the movie, researchers measured the amount of popcorn that was eaten. The results were stunning – People with large buckets ate 53% more i.e. 21 extra hand dips and 173 extra calories.

Imagine someone gave you the popcorn study results without mentioning the bucket sizes. You would see that some ate a little, some ate a lot while some seemed to be testing the limits of the human stomach! Armed with a data set like that, you could easily jump to the conclusion that there are some gluttons that need serious motivation to adopt a healthier lifestyle.

But, wait a minute. What you realize from the story is that you don’t need to worry about people’s attitudes and motivations. If you want people to eat less popcorn, just give them smaller buckets!

What looks like a people problem is often a situation problem..

What looks like a people problem is often a situation problem. Simple. And Profound.
I am finding Chip and Dan Heath’s book to be a gold mine. Many more stories to come in the coming weeks..

Here’s to tweaking situations to change behavior this week!