Category: Everything else

The best parallel for learning I’ve found is the human digestive system. So, I’ll use that analogy to illustrate how learning works.

Ingestion (you + someone else who shares the idea) – This is when an idea is thrown at you. This could be in a class, in a book or in a casual conversation. The first step, if we’re listening, is to take the idea in.

Digestion (you + others) – This is why every teacher who knows what he/she is doing encourages class discussion. Ingestion only makes sure you’ve taken the idea in. Digestion makes sure you “get” the concept and the context.

Absorption (just you) – Once you have digested the idea, you need time by yourself to revisit and absorb it. This is why research suggest you pay attention in classes and meetings and jot down summaries at the end of classes/meetings. Writing summaries is a way of making sure you absorb what you’ve digested.

Assimilation (you + someone you teach/share) – Once you absorb an idea, you are ready for the next step – you now need to synthesize it and share it with others. Assimilation is why it is said that teaching or sharing ideas is the only sure shot way of learning. That is true. It also matters because this is when you open up your thinking to others for their thoughts and critiques. Inevitably, the sharing process crystallizes the key concepts.

Excretion (you) – In this final step, you revisit your teach/share discussions, reflect on your own mental models and throw out pieces that don’t make sense. This matters because learning involves a constant refinement and simplification of concepts and ideas. Excretion is how you boil things down to first principles and create original ideas and mental models.

A lot of what we’re taught about learning focuses on ingestion, digestion and, to a much lesser extent, assimilation. That’s also because a lot of what we’re taught about learning is taught in groups. And, these steps involve groups (surprise, surprise).

However, as this framework hopefully illustrates, there is no learning without reflection. So, if we ever find ourselves running from one activity to another without time to reflect, it is worth reminding ourselves that we’re cheating ourselves of the learning.

We must take the time. We’re worth it.

And, once we do take the time, we must share. With great learning comes great responsibility.

The first secret to staying in good spirits consistently is to embrace the fact that we’re never really done.

Sure, you can be done with cleaning your home, doing the dishes, or clearing out the task list for the day. But, you’ll only be done with those for the day. Cleaning, staying organized and getting things done are never really done.

The beauty about embracing this is that it reminds us that going on a crazy triage of our “to do” list isn’t what we need. What we need is deliberate planning about how we intend to spend our day, re-prioritization when things inevitably don’t go as per plan, and focus when we get to doing the things we need to do.

The question isn’t – “When will I get done?”. It is – “Have I made progress today versus where I was yesterday on the key priorities?”

The game is infinite. The important thing isn’t the final whistle. It is, simply, to play.

Harry Chapin was a singer-songwriter and he had this to say about his grandfather.

My grandfather was a painter. He died at age eighty-eight, he illustrated Robert Frost’s first two books of poetry, and he was looking at me and he said, “Harry, there’s two kinds of tired. There’s good tired and there’s bad tired.” He said, “Ironically enough, bad tired can be a day that you won. But you won other people’s battles; you lived other people’s days, other people’s agendas, other people’s dreams. And when it’s all over, there was very little you in there. And when you hit the hay at night, somehow you toss and turn; you don’t settle easy.

It’s that good tired, ironically enough, can be a day that you lost, but you don’t even have to tell yourself because you knew you fought your battles, you chased your dreams, you lived your days and when you hit the hay at night, you settle easy, you sleep the sleep of the just and you say ‘take me away’”. He said, “Harry, all my life I wanted to be a painter and I painted; God, I would have loved to have been more successful, but I painted and I painted and I’m good tired and they can take me away.”

This note manages to be beautiful, poignant and inspirational all at once. To me, it speaks to the power of the struggle for a cause that we feel strongly about. The wins and other such results hardly every matter. It is all about the process. It is all about giving it our best shot every day. As Anton Chekov said – “Any idiot can face a crisis – it is day to day living that wears you out.”

Here’s to being good tired this week.

HT – The Steger family – thank you for sharing.

1. We get to define what “good” is. Defining what is “good” is among the most important things we will do. And, to do this, we need to be accepting of our own quirks. For example, after a relaxed 24 hours or so, the rest of my weekend is filled with work. There is almost no way I will get through my task list but I am looking forward to giving it my best shot. That isn’t likely to be an ideal weekend for most people. But, as I listen to great music and type these words, I can feel my excitement at the thought of ploughing through my list. To each their own.

2. Spend time in environments which, and, with people who, energize you. Environments and people either give you good energy or bad energy. This is an incredibly simple idea – design your life in a way that maximizes good energy. Stop managing your time. Just manage your energy.. and time will take care of itself. And, needless to say, you are the average, in every sense (likely happiness, BMI, and even maturity) of the five people you spend most of the time with.

3. Do small things with extraordinary love and, then, thank the stars for the privilege. When you define what “good” is and design a life filled with good energy, you get to do small things with extraordinary love. That is an incredible privilege. Cue: say thank you – a lot. The more you feel gratitude, the more you will be happy.

Is this hard work? Absolutely.

But, there are few things better than giving ourselves the gift of a life that’s well lived.

A place I’ve been trying to move towards is one where I never take offence – to anything people say, do or even to things that happen to me.

While I feel it does seem to be getting easier with time (maturity?), I think the factor that makes it easiest to not take offence is to simply view everything that happens around you as an experiment that might or might not work. This was the learning I took away from Mahatma Gandhi’s autobiography – “The Story of My Experiments with Truth.” I don’t generally recommend the book to anyone but I do think the central idea of experimentation is powerful. During the course of his life, Gandhi treated himself and the world as a laboratory for various kinds of experiments. Some worked, many didn’t. But, he just marched on to the next experiment anyway.

That’s a wonderful way to see the world.

I’ve begun describing myself as someone who lives in “this might not work.” Keep trying crazy ideas, keep initiating, keep failing, keep taking flak, never take offence and move on.

Things are simpler when you view life and everything that happens around you as a series of experiments. They occasionally work for you. Most of the time, however, they don’t.

And, that’s okay. Perfection and comfort are overrated.

There are many questions we could be asking when faced with a new project –

Do you think it will be a fulfilling experience?
Do you think I’ll learn a lot?
Do you think it’ll be meaningful?
Will I be able to work with, learn from and connect with wonderful people?

And, yet, more often than not, the default question is – “Is it a lot of work?”

My experience has shown that fulfilling/learning filled/meaningful experiences are always a tremendous amount of work. They also rarely have a clear, well-trodden path. I’ve also learnt that I rarely remember the effort with anything but fondness. It is in those moments of effort that I have felt most alive. And, the joy from having to make sense out of chaos? That’s how we get made.

Different questions -> Different results.

A friend of mine shared her joy at switching employers.

At her old firm, she was required to come in at a particular time and leave after a particular time. She hated the daily pressure and the days inevitably felt long.

At her new firm, there are no such requirements. But, she finds herself coming in earlier and leaving later than at her previous job. And, to top it all, she loves it.

There’s something incredibly powerful about the perception of autonomy. We love the perception of control and it greatly increases our happiness. Perhaps we need to make sure we include autonomy in our criteria list for our important choices.

I realized yesterday that a very small group of people (generally <5) have had a disproportionate impact on –

– my career growth
– my personal growth and learning
– the number of new, valuable career connections I’ve made
– my happiness at any given point of time

Of course, when you get started, it is hard to tell who these people might be. So, the whole point of breadth in relationships is to understand if there is chemistry.

A group of senior executives were recently asked this about chemistry – “How do you know if the chemistry exists for a potential mentor-mentee relationship?” One of them simply said – “You just know.”

My additions would be  –
“1. This applies for all kinds of relationships
2. When you do know, dive right in and don’t let go.”

A food vendor in front of the pyramids or a bangle seller in front of the Taj Mahal will likely never fully appreciate them in their true glory. That’s the challenge we have when we are part of incredibly meaningful relationships. We don’t realize the magic until it doesn’t exist anymore.

It doesn’t happen often. It is magical when it does. It is up to us to appreciate, treasure and be grateful for these.

After all, and here I make the assumption that happiness is how most of us will measure our lives, it isn’t happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy.

What were you doing on this day 10 years ago?

At this time 10 years ago, I was in my final year of High school. My main objective at that point was to get admitted into the National University of Singapore. And, my biggest worry back then was a mix of wondering if I would get the scholarship to attend and whether I’d be able to pull off the scores required to get in. Also, being a teenager, I’m sure there were a few social circle related worries.

I don’t think I had any conception of what I might be doing 10 years later. And, even if I did hazard a guess, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t have been close to what turned out. I didn’t know what YouTube was and definitely didn’t know anything about consulting (my first job) or business school.

A childhood friend and I were exchanging texts about this yesterday and marveling at how quickly time has gone by. Whenever I have such conversations, I am reminded of the Bill Gates idea that we tend to overestimate what we can do in a year but regularly underestimate what we can do in a decade. That is definitely true in my limited experience.

We regularly think about the next year or two and tend to have big hopes and dreams. We rarely think about the next decade. And, yet, in the really long term, directional movement matters a lot more than specific steps.

Coincidentally, I had some longer term thinking time scheduled this weekend. And, longer term really meant thinking about my 2nd year in graduate school. So, this exchange and post have come at a great time. I’ve decided to challenge myself to think about the next ten.

Looking forward.

It is probably about what you are trying.

It is tempting to attempt to power through. But, persistence is rarely about pushing things that don’t work. It is about taking stock, improving and performing better.

It is misplaced persistence if you aren’t persistently improving.