In the long run, it always amazes me as to how much our attitude toward mistakes shapes our well being.
Our ability to accept mistakes enables us to reduce stress and get more done.
And, our ability to consistently replace fear in our response to them with creative, constructive and corrective action shapes our confidence.
Wired had an article recently about how China became a tech superpower by moving from imitation to innovation. Many of the observations in the article – especially that about the West being stuck in a perception that all China does is copy Western ideas – ring true.
But, this isn’t an article about technology.
Instead, it is to say that the process of moving from imitation to innovation is a principle that is widely applicable. Jack Welch used to say that copying their competitor’s best ideas was a key part of GE’s ability to innovate. GE’s innovation approach frequently involved copying the best ideas and tweaking them to suit their own style.
It works wonderfully well in personal development as well. Admire how someone stays organized, makes presentations or organizes a team? Copy them. Over time, you’ll figure out your own style.
Innovation is rarely a big leap we need to make. Instead, it is often a series of little steps we take that cause a cumulative step change in results – the first of which is generally imitation.
I am reminded of a classic Derek Siver’s post on Drama where he shared a lesson from a talk by Kurt Vonnegut. I think of this post when I find myself over reacting to a piece of news or data.
Kurt Vonnegut contrasts the arc of the stories with that of our life. For example, here are two common popular story arcs – the Cinderella story and the common disaster story.
Kurt Vonnegut contrasts this to our life’s story arc.
You can see the problem.
As Vonnegut explains – “People have been hearing fantastic stories since time began. The problem is that they think life is supposed to be like the stories. So people pretend there is drama where there is none.”
This is partly why we invent conflict, fights, attempt to save the day, and over react to what happens to us. We create drama where this is none.
Or, as Derek observes, we try to make our life into a fairy tale.
If you’ve ever attempted ice skating, roller blading or skiing, you learn quickly that it is impossible to get good if you aren’t willing to fall.
In fact, learning to fall safely and get up quickly is a key part of any first lesson. Since you are expected to fall, you might as well learn to do it well. And, if you want to learn quickly, you better be willing to experiment and fall often.
As part of this process, you learn that willingness to fall is very different from willingness to fail. Failure, it turns out, is not the falling down. It is the staying down.
There’s a life analogy here somewhere…
On his new podcast, Seth shared a story from a conference 20 years ago. They were going around a circle and introducing themselves. One of them was the co-founder of a then lesser known search engine.
He said – “My name is Sergey and I have this little search engine called Google. We don’t do any outbound marketing, promotion or hype. We figure that, one day, everyone will use Google. We also know that Google gets better every day. And, since it gets better every day, we are in no hurry for people to try us the first time.”
It is a profound way to think about your product.
However, I think it has just as much applicability in our lives. We can sometimes find ourselves in a hurry to meet that next important person (“network”) to get access to new opportunities.
But, if we acted on getting better every day, maybe there’d be no reason to hurry at all?
Every book has co-authors. These co-authors are spouses, kids, parents, editors, friends, heroes, and even other authors of the same genre – all of whom play pivotal roles in creating the final reading experience. Every author stands on the shoulder of giants. And, as is often the case, the most important shoulder tends to be that of the spouse.
Of course, the book is just a metaphor for life and every project we have the privilege to work on.
It is easy to forget this and get caught up in the “self made” myth. It is also easy to over estimate our capabilities and the roles we play on the journey.
This is a thank you to the many co-authors of this blog – with a special nod to that most important shoulder. I am more grateful than I can possibly express.
I hope you find time to send your co-authors a thank you this weekend as well.
At the end of his book on timing – “When,” Dan Pink shared a recommendation on living in the present. He points out that living in the present may not the best strategy at all times – despite the advice of spiritual gurus.
Instead, he suggests that we’re better off integrating the past, the present and the future as we live our lives.
I thought that was a profound insight. And, it is one I am beginning to stumble upon myself as part of my journey to engage with engagement/mindfulness. There is undoubtedly a place for living in the present. But, spending time reflecting on what happened is a source of great learning. And, identifying with our future selves helps us move forward with purpose.
I read once that zen masters believe that the essence of zen is doing one thing at a time. That’s increasingly where I find myself ending up. There’s a place for some reflection, some day dreaming about the future and getting things done in our lives. They co-exist and, in moderation, balance each other out.
The key, I find, is to make peace with the process of balancing and to be fully engaged with it – one thing at a time.
How much of your job involves –
Of course, this list doesn’t even count time spent trying to get actual customers pay for your work.
In workplaces with lesser hierarchy and more network based work, more of us spend more of our time in sales than we realize. (This isn’t the aggressive “always be closing” type of selling we picture. It is a softer, subtler version built on attunement, buoyancy and clarity. More on that another day.)
And, yet, it is likely we don’t spend much time strengthening our selling muscle. Nor do we realize how strong this muscle actually needs to be.
The first step, then, is for us to appreciate the importance of selling to our success.
With this acceptance will come change..
Too often, we focus conversations about learning plans around getting a degree. There is an implicit assumption in these conversations that getting a degree and getting an education go together.
But, that need not be the case.
You can get a degree without getting an education – there are plenty who do. And, conversely, thanks to books and the internet, you can get an education without getting a degree.
There are good reasons to get a degree. Moving geography, improving career prospects, learning from top Professors and a motivated peer group, taking a break, etc., could all, in combination, be good reasons. But, if the only reason to get a degree is – “I want to learn management” or “I want to learn machine learning” – I would reconsider.
We have more options to pursue learning in subjects we are interested in than ever before. We can buy books, subscribe to online courses, create a peer learning group around these materials, start a blog sharing insights or do all of these together.
We can choose to not get the business of getting a degree interfere with our desire to get an education.
Our lives right now are built around consumption. Media companies have somehow convinced us that there are few things that matter more than staying up to date. So, we get free newsletters with stunning content and, generally, a link to subscribe to get more.
Media personalities (including venture capitalists and star entrepreneurs) all have podcasts and blogs for us to listen to. Many of this stuff is actually interesting.
There are more “summits” about various topics with lists of YouTube videos to watch than ever before.
So, naturally, we have more of us walking around wishing we had time to read, listen and watch all this content. And, aside from the fact that “catching up” is a fool’s errand (it is impossible), we are better served by doing less consumption and more creation. Creation contributes more to learning and happiness than consumption.
How do we that? Pick the best long article, podcast or video and, instead of moving to the next one, substitute that time with time for synthesis. Feel free to take notes during the process. However, these notes are only useful if we take the time to synthesize them afterward. Good synthesis, in turn, requires time to reflect.
And, if it is all too hard to resist the temptation of clicking on the next article or video, shut off the internet and get hold of a book on a topic you like. Then, repeat the above process.
We don’t learn effectively when we consume. We learn when we synthesize and reflect.
In the age of consumption, it is worth reminding ourselves that more is not better. Better is better.
A Learning a Day 