Strong judgments

I’ve found a strong inverse correlation between my self awareness and my propensity to pass strong judgments.

I think that is because self awareness brings our own fallibility to light. I realize, now more than ever, that morality and the concept of “right” and “wrong” are relative, subjective and driven by circumstance.

My learning from all of this has been to strive to be clear about what matters to me and to do my best to live in a manner that is consistent with what I care about. And, to choose to be a light, not a judge.

The beauty about choosing to be a light is that you proactively spend your energy on things you control. When I see behavior that doesn’t work with what I believe in, I’ve found it simpler and better to say “That doesn’t work for me” and turn away. Life’s too short to be passing strong judgments – especially when I’m far from perfect myself.

I’d rather focus my limited energies on plugging away to become a better version of myself. Here’s to that.

Climate change counseling

Eric Holthaus, a Meteorologist and climate change writer, said the following in a tweet storm earlier this year.


I’m starting my 11th year working on climate change, including the last 4 in daily journalism. Today I went to see a counselor about it.

I’m saying this because I know many people feel deep despair about climate, especially post-election. I struggle every day. You are not alone.

There are days where I literally can’t work. I’ll read a story and shut down for rest of the day. Not much helps besides exercise and time.

The counselor said: “Do what you can”, which I think is simple and powerful advice. I’m going to start working a lot more on mindfulness.

Despair is natural when there’s objective evidence of a shared existential problem we’re not addressing adequately. You feel alone.

You feel powerless. You feel like nothing matters. Your relationships suffer. You feel guilty for “not doing more”.

But what the hell am I supposed to do? Write another blog post?

Last year we lost a huge chunk of the Great Barrier Reef. We are literally ending existence of animals that were here for millions of years.

We don’t deserve this planet. There are (many) days when I think it would be better off without us.

How am I supposed to do my job—literally to chronicle planetary suicide—without experiencing deep existential despair myself? Impossible.

To me, our emotional/psychological response is *the* story on climate change. It defines how (and if) we will solve the problem.

The number one comment I get is “we’re fucked”. That’s not totally true. In order to “save the planet” we have to confront this despair.

Climate despair, on its own, isn’t bad. It’s a sign you care. It’s just hard to function when you feel weight of the world crashing down.

The more I talk about my despair, the more I realize other people feel same thing. That makes me hopeful—we are more powerful than we think.

I don’t have an answer for where to go from here. That’s why I’m in counseling. But part of the answer is: don’t be afraid to talk.


It is a poignant note. I’ve just begun thinking about and writing about climate change over the past months and it resonates. Our current state of progress is woeful. If I were to be working on it every day, I’d enroll myself in counseling too.

And, yet, despair doesn’t help. Action does. And, learning and awareness precedes action. So, here’s to learning more and sharing it to build awareness in the meanwhile.

Lessons from my first year as a parent

My favorite passage on parenting from Kahlil Gibran says this on the subject of learning – “Strive to be like them. Seek not to make them like you.”

In that vein, here are the top five lessons I’ve learnt from watching our infant become a walking, babbling one year old.

  1. Be clear about what you are optimizing for and be engaged when you’re pursuing it. Babies have a high level of clarity about what matters to them at any given moment. Sleep matters most. If sleep isn’t taken care of, all else is futile. Food comes next. Again, if their stomachs aren’t full, they pursue that single mindedly. And, if they’re playing, they’re fully engaged in doing so.

    I’ve found that clarity and engagement to be very inspiring. This is coincidentally the year I decided to engage on my engagement with life. I didn’t realize then that my role model for engagement was right at home. “Strive to be like them” rings very true.

  2. The natural thing to do after a fall is to get back up. When kids learn a new skill like pulling up or walking, they’re extremely comfortable with falling. They expect to fall and pick themselves up each time. When our daughter learned to pull herself up, she’d do it 300 times a day. It was mind blowing. A great reminder that failure is not the falling down, it is the staying down.
  3. Find delight in simple things. The bar for delight is low. If it isn’t a simple game of peek-a-boo, it could just be a bunch of stacking cups. I’ve become more aware that our happiness is simply a measure of our reality compared to our expectations. If our expectations are low, it is really easy to be happy.
  4. Be ready to smile, love and trust – if people prove themselves worthy of it. In a wonderful post about parenthood, Jeff Atwood wrote –

    I wasn’t sure how to explain meeting new people to Henry, so I decided to just tell him we’ve met a new “friend” every time. Now, understand that this is not at all the way I view the world. I’m extremely wary of strangers, and of new people in general with their agendas and biases and opinions. I’ve been burned too many times. But Henry is open to every person he meets by default. Each new person is worth greeting, worth meeting as a new experience, as a fellow human being. Henry taught me, without even trying to, that I’ve been doing it all wrong. I realized that I’m afraid of other people, and it’s only my own fear preventing me from opening up, even a little, to new people that I meet. I really should view every new person I meet as a potential friend. I’m not quite there yet; it’s still a work in progress. But with Henry’s help, I think I can. I had absolutely no idea my child would end up teaching me as much as I’m teaching him.

    So. True.

  5. Change is the only constant – so, be willing to adapt. There’s a certain amount of flexibility that comes with having a baby around the house.  They have a rough schedule but they may or may not stick with it. The good news is they’re just as open to changes in your plans as well – change is expected.

    This has been the toughest learning for me. I wrote about this a few weeks ago in a post titled “It giveth and it taketh.” From that post –
    There are these moments of sheer awesomeness interspersed with moments of “Oh god – there goes another one of my well laid plans.”

    That’s the interesting thing about what “it taketh” – it says a lot about me and my expectations of the process. The more I plan and I expect, the more I feel “it taketh” and the more I find myself needing to learn to let go and grow.

    In that sense, parenting is a lot like other great journeys (school, challenging projects, engaging jobs, marriage, etc.)  – it is what you make of it. The more you give, the more it takes out of you and the more you grow in the process.

Year one has been a fascinating learning journey. Looking forward to many more.

The day Amazon stopped being Amazon

Benedict Evans, Partner at Andreessen Horowitz, had a great post today on “The Amazon machine.” He is one of the best technology analysts out there and the post demonstrates that.

Amazon is an awe inspiring company in many ways led by an all-conquering, thoughtful CEO who seems to have cracked innovation at scale. As Ben puts it –

Amazon at its core is two platforms – the physical logistics platform and the ecommerce platform. Sitting on top of those, there is radical decentralization. Amazon is hundreds of small, decentralized, atomized teams sitting on top of standardised common internal systems. If Amazon decides that it’s going to do (say) shoes in Germany, it hires half a dozen people from very different backgrounds, maybe with none of them having anything to do with shoes or ecommerce, and it gives them those platforms, with internal transparency of the metrics of every other team, and of course, other people (and Jeff) have internal transparency to their metrics.

Amazon is on its way to become the world’s most valuable company. It is only a matter of time its market cap reaches one trillion dollars. I am bullish on Amazon in the short term.

However, when we look back at Amazon’s rise and fall (and there will be a fall) three decades later, it is likely we’ll find it hard to pinpoint when Amazon began planting the seeds for its eventual demise. Amazon’s rise was based on everything they did to become the most customer centric company on the planet. And, for two decades, they definitely were.

But, over time, cracks have been appearing. And, their recent fight with Google shows that those cracks are very real. In a weird ego fuelled battle with Google, Amazon’s decisions to pull Google products have put the customer last every step of the way. They’re clearly feeling invincible.

The question today, then, is – Can Jeff Bezos stop this rot?

Or, will hubris win the day?

If it does, it will be the day that Amazon stopped being Amazon.

Stuck users

Getting user experience design right is all about getting user flows right.

The first question when it comes to optimizing flows is asking – how would a user make it from one end of the process to the other? This is important because every added step or inconsistency results in drop offs.

An oft-overlooked second question is – where do users get stuck? Or, put differently – where are user dead ends?

User dead ends typically happen due to two reasons –

  1. No “escape” button
  2. Poor error notifications

No “escape” Button

The early version of Windows got the “escape” button idea right. If you weren’t used to computers, you had a way out of whatever hole you had dug yourself into. Apple did this well in their first decade with the iPhone. You were never stuck on an iPhone because the button always offered you a way out.

The lack of an escape button is all too common in customer service processes. For example, I keep getting stuck at this screen when trying to get to the results of a case dispute I filed with Equifax. The only escape here is “Please try again later” because there is no easy link to contact them directly.

Poor error notifications

The first iterations of Windows were legendary for poor error notifications. An error on Windows might say something like – “X000snjksfn9843940 – Bad command.”

Of course, this meant nothing to a user. Luckily, Google searches and forums helped solve these problems. But, if you weren’t internet search literate back then, you were in trouble.

I experienced a version of this issue today thanks to our HP Laserjet printer. It is cliche to say you are troubleshooting printer issues at your parents’ place. But, that is exactly what I was doing. The error, it turned out, was, well, “Error – Printing.”

That’s helpful.

We solved the issue by unplugging and re-plugging the printer. While it amazing how many problems that solves, an error notification that says nothing is a recipe for stuck users.

In the know

Ryan Stephens, a long time reader and friend of this blog, shared 48 of his favorite quotes from 2017 recently.

A quote that stuck out to me was from Dave Pell – “The notion that you need to know about world events right when they happen is a marketing creation of media brands.”

The first order consequence of the quote is to cut down on the amount of news we take in. I’ve been streamlining this over time. But, I’ve got more to go.

But, there’s a second order implication. I’d consider editing that line further to say – The notion that you need to know about world events right when they happen is a marketing creation of media brands.”

We live at a time when we are more exposed to events about or from people we know than at any time in human history. In a small percentage of these cases, this exposure is helpful. That happens when we learn something that furthers our growth or when we learn something important about someone we do business with that helps build rapport. Most of the rest of the exposure benefits media companies and advertisers more than it benefits us.

I work on ads on the LinkedIn feed. So, as a participant on the media company side of the table, I have both a strong interest in this topic and a (somewhat controversial?) point of view. My learning is that feeds are not benevolent – they are the equivalent of the house in a casino. Casinos can be great places to visit for a while. They’re fun if you go with friends. And, if you’re a fan of a game like poker which offers wonderful lessons in decision making, they can be a source of learning too.

But, the house always wins. So, it is important to be clear about what you’re trying to achieve and get out once you’ve achieved it.

Analogy aside, the TLDR version of this is the same as what lies at the heart of Dave Pell’s note – being “in the know” is overrated.

Friendship and trouble

I saw a quote on friendship recently that said – “Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness.”

While support during trouble is a sign of good friendship, I’ve found shared happiness to be a better indicator.

Often, sharing troubles with friends is much easier than sharing happiness with the belief that our friends will be genuinely happy for us.

How much do you squat?

At the risk of becoming labelled a Quartz fanboy (which I am), a recent “obsession” note from Quartz on squatting has stuck with me. Here are my favorite pieces.

So, why does squatting matter?
According to osteopath and author Phillip Beach, the deep squat is one of a few “archetypal postures” that are not just good for us, but “deeply embedded into the way our bodies are built.” When you look at our evolutionary history, he’s not wrong—our ancient ancestors squatted for a very long time.

To be clear, we’re talking about a deep squat: feet flat, spine lengthened, and bum hovering above the floor. Those squats you do in CrossFit and Pilates aren’t the same thing. That partial, often weight-bearing squat is not one early hominids needed to perform. Walking a mile with wild game on their backs, and then resting in a deep squat by the fire? Sure. Doing repetitive partial squats while holding an antelope? Probs not.

In its natural form, the deep squat is a form of active rest. Hanging out in one briefly a few times a day helps provide the movement and compression that keeps our joints well lubricated with synovial fluid. Otherwise, the body basically doesn’t bother producing this fluid, and our joints dry up. In other words: Use it or lose it.

The deep squat is also about getting grounded. Experts including Beach say that “floor life”—which literally means getting close to the floor, much like you might do in your weekly yoga class—is a key to wellness. The practice creates a sense of physical embodiment that’s increasingly absent from our hyper-intellectualized, screen-dominated lives.

Why do we not squat? 

While squatting becomes more uncomfortable as we do less of it,, the West’s aversion to the squat is cultural, too. While squatting or sitting cross legged in an office chair would be great for the hip joint, the modern worker’s wardrobe—not to mention formal office etiquette—generally makes this kind of posture unfeasible. The only time we might expect a Western leader or elected official to hover close to the ground is for a photo-op with cute kindergarteners. Indeed, the people we see squatting on the sidewalk in a city like New York or London tend to be the types of people we blow past in self-important rush.

“It’s considered primitive and of low social status to squat somewhere,” says Jam. “When we think of squatting we think of a peasant in India, or an African village tribesman, or an unhygienic city floor. We think we’ve evolved past that—but really we’ve devolved away from it.”

Grounding ourselves

But for those of us who have largely abandoned squatting, Beach says, “you can’t really overdo this stuff.” Beyond this kind of movement improving our joint health and flexibility, Trivedi points out that a growing interest in yoga worldwide is perhaps in part a recognition that “being on the ground helps you physically be grounded in yourself”—something that’s largely missing from our screen-dominated, hyper-intellectualized lives.

Beach agrees that this is not a trend, but an evolutionary impulse. Modern wellness movements are starting to acknowledge that “floor life” is key. He argues that the physical act of grounding ourselves has been nothing short of instrumental to our species’ becoming.

In a sense, squatting is where humans—every single one of us—came from, so it behooves us to revisit it as often as we can.


I need to squat more.

Hacking money, travel and points with Chris Hutchins

I enjoyed a podcast on “Hacking money, travel and points” with Chris Hutchins, the founder of a personal finance app, and Kevin Rose (VC at True Ventures and founder of Digg). Every few months, I seek out a refresher on how to think about personal finance. My objective is rarely about learning something new as the principles rarely change. But, I’m beginning to appreciate the value of revisiting important topics to further help me synthesize.

Nuggets / top reminders

  • Retirement: Multiply what you will need per year after retirement x 25 – that’s the size of your retirement fund. Most folks don’t know what their retirement fund should be (I didn’t think about this previously as well).
  • Learn to have conversations about your salary: After a certain point in your career, this ends up making a huge difference.
  • House: If you’re ever considering buying a house, consider it carefully. It’ll likely be the largest purchase in your lifetime.

Confirmation / Things I do (mostly)

  • Credit Karma: Monitor your credit card status – important if you live in the US.
  • Save.
  • Spend on happiness versus things.
  • Cook and eat healthy.
  • Use low cost ETFs via vanguard. Consider a target date retirement fund. That does what robo advisors like Wealthfront do.

Things I’m not sure I want to do

  • Credit card points: Their conversation about credit cards was fascinating even if I know I’d never go down that path. The principle was sound though – get a credit card that rewards your biggest expenses. Decide how much you want to optimize. Chase (for those in the US) has great cards.
  • Travel: If you travel a ton, optimize for points. Starwood points are the best points.

PS: If you’re interested in learning more about the topic, here’s an old learnographic on personal finance.

Rich conversations

This is the best time of the year for rich conversations.

My go to is to start every conversation with the question – what have been your biggest learnings or revelations in the past year?

Great conversations are focused on ideas. And, December’s natural propensity to be a reflective time of year lends itself beautifully to great conversations.

We have a lovely 30 day window to reflect and learn before we change direction and look forward again. Limited time offer only.

Let’s use it well.