Frustration, Annoyance and.. Change

I have noticed a trend when I attempt to bring about change in myself. Every change goes through a very definite cycle.

Thought -> Decision -> Action -> Result

And this never changes. There are times when I read something, mull it for ages before acting on it. For example, the Godin advice on changing the first thing I do every morning from consumption (checking feeds, email) to production like blogging was out there in January. It’s practically been in the ‘thought’ phase for a long while. Not actively, but sub consciously. And finally, as of 3 days ago, I decided to throw it out.

What changed? Frustration and annoyance came into the picture. I found myself annoyed at passively taking in information first thing at the morning. The learning came to mind. Okay. No excuses. Time to change.

As a result, I find the change from thought to decision critical in bringing about change and in my case, that frustration and annoyance at myself. This was a comparatively smaller decision, of course. Every 2-3 months, I am pushed to make a big change in my self management game for some reason or the other. Sometimes, it’s to wind down, other times it’s to wind up and in day before yesterday’s case, it was to reduce the number of focus points because there was simply too much to do in a day and I was getting overwhelmed.

Change is good. But, change is hard. And I go through the same process (when I really want to push for change, these typically take a week each). And the breakthrough is typically the day when I’m really frustrated and annoyed with myself.

I felt that frustration and annoyance on Tuesday. And, for a change, I was very happy in my heart of hearts because I sensed imminent change. It bubbled for a while.. and then the change came. My daily focus list was brutally cut down to the most essential tasks until the end of October. I am still moving from decision to action but I’ve gone through the most difficult part of the change curve and I’m more confident of moving things along now.

The biggest ability we humans have compared to animals is the ability to observe ourselves and take an outside view in a situation where we are very involved in. It really is a fascinating ability because that’s the ability that gives us the deepest learnings.. learnings about ourselves.