Month: March 2012

As I was laying half awake yesterday, my mind drifted to a rag picker I’d seen a couple of days ago.

As I lay about in my comfortable bed, I thought about what he must have been doing at that time – probably laying curled up on the side walk. The next day would be another day spent searching for scraps.

On the other hand, here I was – lying down on my comfortable bed, wondering about petty problems in comparison and of course, thinking about what life might be on the other side.

The obvious question came about soon enough ‘What have I done to deserve such luxury?’

Soon enough, I realized it’s important I reframe the question a bit.

‘What can I do with this luxury to make it worth the while?’

The path forward became clearer.

There’s a lot of work to be done.

I often think of the line about goal keepers ‘A goal keeper is only as good as he is on his worst days.’

It’s a brilliant line and so very true. I am sure you’ve watched one of football, hockey or ice hockey in your life and in any of these games, the stars are typically the goal scorers or goal creators. Every player goes through ups and downs (they are humans, after all). And teams can sustain great performance even with some of their stars going through temporary droughts. But, if their goal keeper has a few bad days, it really is ‘end of story’.

The greatest goal keepers are those who are pretty good even on their worst days and inspired on their best. They may easily be overshadowed by a star striker on their best days but on their worst days, you can be sure their mistakes will make headlines.

How different is that from our lives?

We always hear talk about tests of adversity and how people would do if the world as we know it came crashing down. My observation is that we always seem to come out of those kind of crises alright. We summon enough will power, determination and generally do what it takes to make it out. We generally bounce back. We survive. That’s how we’re wired.

That doesn’t say much about a person though, in my view at least.

In my eyes, the difference makers are the ones who consistently handle the small blips incredibly well.

How do you do when you are having a blip? Probably most importantly, what do you do when you recognize you are having a blip?

Here’s an idea – I see blogs for start up CEOs, many blog posts for big company CEO’s on places like Harvard Business Review (“Have you tested your strategy lately?”), a few blogs for those amidst their careers but hardly ever see blogs or posts dedicated to juniors. Granted, there’s the occasional post about lessons from a great internship that I’ve seen go viral. But that’s about it.

And given roughly 0.000001% of us become Gates/Jobs/Zuckerberg in our late 20s, that leaves a whole bunch of us still learning the ropes at work as junior resources, rising up the ranks and taking on bigger responsibilities. And I know from my own ongoing learning experience that I would have loved to have simple actionable ideas that I could take to work.

So, that’s why I’ve decided to give WLFJ Wednesdays a shot. WLFJ = Work Lessons From a Junior.

In my case, this happens to be in a niche topic. Armed with less than 2 years of full time experience, 3 years of internship experiences in university – I have committed enough acts of stupidity to feel I’m in good place to focus on one actionable learning for us to take to work as juniors. ;-) Besides, what better way for me to re-learn?

Answering a few questions that might come up.

Isn’t the blog already about learnings from a junior? Sort of. They are often more generic. A lot of these could potentially moonlight as work learnings. But, then again, maybe not. I’m excited to talk about some of the basics that are taken for granted where juniors are concerned- emailing, meetings, social interaction with superiors etc etc

Why am I doing this? Two reasons – to learn myself and to share what I’ve learnt.

What about the audience of the blog that aren’t juniors? I’m hoping we will continue to have different perspectives in the comments and I’m hoping I will be told I am wrong, and corrected from time to time.

Who is a junior? Great question. I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. Some of these learnings may apply to folks with a ton of great experience and some may not. If you can relate to it and learn from it as well, great. If you can’t, I hope you will share your point of view on how I can think about a problem/situation differently.

Those questions aside, I need your help.

Firstly, are there any specific topic requests?

Secondly, any cool name suggestions? If you have suggestions that are a tad cooler than WLFJ, I would much appreciate that.

Of late, I’m working very hard on a simple idea  – crack a joke when I’m annoyed.

These days, I’m more aware than ever before on when my buttons are most likely to be pushed and many a time, I see it coming. Yet, I still let my annoyance show.

I don’t believe in screaming and yelling when annoyed. They don’t help any situation. I end up either letting out a sarcastic comment or just resort to expressing my annoyance by repeatedly telling the other person why I’m so incredibly annoyed. Neither of these are helpful either.

This happens most often when I’m devoid of sleep or just mentally tired.

The other big source of annoyance is when I feel hurt at a soft spot i.e. an insecurity covered duly by my ego. I’m able to catch these situations easier these days and let them go. Nevertheless, there is the rare occasion when something hits a soft spot when I’m tired! (i.e. a double wham!)

I have great admiration for those who manage to shake off annoyances with wit and move on. So, of late, I’ve been working on a simple approach – crack a joke or find a funny quote when I’m annoyed. I reckon my success rate is around 10%. But it’s one of those things I’m working to get better at.

Here’s to a sense of humour, a major defence for minor troubles!

‘Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humour was provided to console him for what he is.’

This week’s book learning is from ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ by Anthony Robbins.

Tony Robbins had a problem – he was susceptible to over eating. His view on the driving force behind all human action is PPP or the Pain Pleasure Principle. In his view, we only act out of a need to avoid pain or a desire to derive pleasure.

Thus, procrastination happens when we link more pain to taking action versus not taking action. So, the moment the ratio flips and we see more pain coming our way than pleasure, we stop procrastinating.

Of course, the key here is that this is often not actual pain or pleasure – but our perceptions. The only way to re-wire our attribution of pain and pleasure is mental conditioning.

In his case, he used to link pain to not eating everything on his plate. As a result, he went about conditioning himself to link pleasure to pushing the plate away when he was full! He practiced doing it, celebrated when he managed to do it and did so till it felt good to push the plate away.

His inspiration? The story of legendary basketball player Larry Bird filming for a soft drink commercial where he was supposed to miss a shot. He had to go through the scene 9 times because, despite his wish to miss, every time he jumped up to take a shot, he scored out of habit!

Viktor Frankl is not likely to agree with Robbins’ view of the driving force of all human action as it takes away our need for meaning. And I’m not sure I entirely agree either.

That said, I find his simplistic model very useful for times when I continue indulging a bad habit that I know must stop – that’s the time to be aware of my own pain and pleasure linkages!

Here’s to switching pain-pleasure linkages where necessary this week!

Ages ago, I wrote this..

The Plunge

The night was cold.

I had been debating whether to take the plunge or not.

The pool was empty.

I had left my towel back at the villa on purpose.

Somewhere within, I did know that the fitness centre didn’t give towels.

It was a ready made excuse, after all.

I touched the water – and darn, it didn’t feel that cold. Could I sell the ‘no towel’ excuse to myself?

I trudged back and got my towel.

Touched the water again, and it hadn’t gotten colder.

I got changed.

The night was cold.

I had to take the plunge.

An image flashed by – a flabby unhealthy me.

I jumped..

The water was great, the swim was great and I felt great after an hour in the pool.

And I wondered how many such great experiences I had talked myself out of, without even trying.

And felt thankful for the many times I had actually taken the plunge.

That experience came to mind in January. I had just gotten back following a lovely vacation and I was debating whether or not to start guitar lessons as I had planned.

My mind drifted to the Boyce Avenue concert in November when I’d decided in a conversation with a friend who’d joined me that I would learn the guitar. It had been a long standing dream and one I somehow never mustered enough time/energy for. 2012 would be the perfect time as learning the guitar would be my proficiency for the year. Thus, I made up my mind. And when I was away, I kept mentioning this idea to framily – the idea was to sub consciously prepare myself.

And I was mulling about this over that Saturday evening – would I be able to keep up the commitment? What if I bought a guitar and didn’t play? What if I couldn’t play? What if I never found time?

Full of self doubt, I reminded myself that we are our harshest critics and more often than not, we often refuse to give ourselves a chance.

I decided to stop over thinking it and just take the plunge. I did a few Google searches, contacted 3 teachers, heard back almost immediately from one of them, checked his videos out on YouTube, spoke to him and was buying a guitar within a week.

When I think of my guitar journey over the past couple of months, I’m reminded of the iPhone4 tag line ‘This changes everything. Again.’ It’s been an incredible experience learning to play my favourite songs. I’m heading back to Singapore for a few days and can barely wait to strum along with friends (all the 2.5 songs I know… a 100 times! ;-)). I am very very excited!

It’s also a lovely part of my daily routine – 20-30 minutes that I really look forward to at the end of a long day.

And to think I nearly denied myself this experience.

A nice reminder to quit over-thinking every once in a while and take a leap of faith.

Take the plunge. It will change everything. Again.

Will it be good? Well, change is what we make of it.

Inspired by Chris, the inspirational cabbie, I had made up my mind that I would blog about ‘inspirational people that I had the good fortune to meet. Gary was a ‘shoe in’ for the post. I thought I’d call the series ‘Real Heroes’. I’m not sure how often I’ll be able to do – as often as I remember when I meet inspirational folk.

Over to Gary now – I met Gary two months ago. The sole of the black leather shoe I’d bought from home in the summer was beginning to chip away. He took a  look for a moment and said – ‘75 pounds sir.’

‘75 pounds?!’ I spluttered. That was more than what I’d paid for the shoe. That said, I absolutely loved the look of the shoe. Tough call.

‘You see, the leather used in this shoe is very low quality. Our material is the best in the world.’

‘What if I find better material then?’

‘Well, sir, then I give you your money back and start buying the material you found.’

Needless to say, I was sold. Gary fixed it and did a brilliant job. He did little things like remember my name when I came to collect it a week later.

I had a small issue with my shoe yesterday thanks to the old rubber heel part. Gary immediately fixed it free of charge as he saw it as his responsibility. I joked about whether he was giving me the best rubber heel in the world.

‘You know, when others go to trade fairs, they walk around asking ‘how much does this cost?’ till they find the cheapest material they can find.
We walk around asking for the best – we look for hardness, flexibility and the like. And once we find the best, we work our prices around them.’

We spent the next 10 minutes chatting away about various things. Gary has been in the business for 35 years and in his current shop for 20 years located right outside Liverpool Street Station in London. His is essentially a family business and his current team comprises of his wife and his eldest daughter’s boy friend. 

And over time, he has trained most of his family and many others – all of whom have gone on to start their own shops.

(This time, I remembered to take a picture! That’s Gary, on the left)

We spoke of the importance of positivity and doing your best and he shared some of the things he believed.

Most of all, he gave me a wonderful gift – he scribbled ‘Desiderata’ on a piece of paper and recommended I read it. His favourite poem. I did. And I can see why..

Panterosa, a commenter here, had a wonderful line about inspiration. She said ‘Remember that inspiration is among the post powerful thing you can do.’

Gary more than inspired me with his passion to stay positive and be the best in the world. We need more Gary’s in every field.

If you ever pass by Liverpool Street Station, I hope you pay Gary a visit. If you live in London, work close by and need your shoe fixed, that’s of course a no brainer. As the Shoe Key t-shirts say –

‘Shoe key.. because time wounds all heels’

Thanks Gary, and team!

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

One of my biggest struggles around this time last year was to switch my laptop off at the end of the day. I was seemingly incapable of doing this.

I have a regular ritual of watching about 15 mins of TV on my laptop with my dinner. It’s among the best parts of the day and one where I love the feeling of zoning out completely. The problem was simple – I would either get back to email or begin browsing for a little while right after. It didn’t matter how tired I was – I used to lose a lot of time (accumulated, at least..) just dilly dallying this switch off moment.

Switching off was painful. Our minds don’t like switching off, closing doors or saying no. We like keeping options open for as long as possible.

It took about 8 months to re-wire my own thinking. While gratification was previously linked when I spent a few extra minutes at the computer, slowly, but surely, I found guilt taking it’s place thanks to me admonishing myself for not managing to switch off.

The results, as are often the case with anything to do with the mind, have been pretty amazing. I have a set evening routine now that involves clearing my email once I’m back from work, unplugging the lan cable/switching off my wifi, watching my 15 mins of TV and shutting down as soon as I’m done. It happens almost seamlessly.

If I were a third person observing my own life for the first time, it would be tempting to think that this is a natural process and that it’s ridiculously easy to be able to do that.

I know better now.

I’ve encountered road blocks when managing work is difficult, when the relationship with people I work with/for have been different. All those are overcome, in time.

But road blocks with managing myself – that’s the toughest battle of them all.

A friend of mine wrote in asking for some tips on finding a house post graduation from university and I thought I’d put together a few things I did and a few things I wish I’d done.

Things I Wish I’d Done

1. Be wary of Real Estate folk, understand the system and read contracts. Singapore is one of the safest places in the world. 4 years in university meant that my guard had completely dropped around contracts and double and triple checking things. Trust came naturally and the thought that someone would con us in Singapore was, I must admit, a thought that never occurred to me.

And that’s exactly what happened. I lead a bunch of friends (a scary number as there were 2 other groups who signed because we signed..) to trust this guy who conned us. He gave us a fake contract! Luckily for us, he was a funny kind of con man as he paid all the money back in about 6 months. It took an incredible amount of chasing up though – practically a call every single day to follow up. One of those life experiences.

Things I would have done differently –

– Not try to land in a house 2 months in advance. Houses move quick and trying this ‘let’s get it early tactic’ meant most good ones said no and we were left with the con men!

– Always be wary of real estate folk. I hear they’re the only corrupt industry in Singapore and I’ve had my run ins with them in London. That’s not to say there aren’t good ones. In fact, I’ve been fortunate to meet many wonderful agents. But, you’ve got to be careful.

– Go through referrals if possible. If friends have had success with agents, then you’re in good place. My con man was picked out from a real estate forum.

– Call someone who’s been through it and understand the system. In most cases, you see a house, submit a letter of intent with a bid, then do a contract signing with the house owner (and possibly their agent).

– Read through EVERY line of the contract.

2. Taken my Permanent Residence (Singapore specific). This part is Singapore specific (sorry!). I waited an extra year to apply for, and then get my Singapore Permanent Residence. I really don’t know why I did that. I must have had what felt like a smart reason…

One of the best benefits of being a PR in Singapore is forced saving. 15% of your salary is saved in your Central Provident Fund. That alone makes it worth it.

Things I’m thankful I did, unknowingly or knowingly

1. Took my GMAT. For most of us who’ve been through the school system, we realize pretty quickly that there are some who are annoyingly good at taking tests and some who are not. I am in the latter half and studying for my GMAT while working would have been incredibly difficult.

I’m glad I took it when I did. In hindsight, I would have done some things differently eg: given myself more time than 3 weeks for my first attempt. But, I’m glad I did it.

I’ve written about this here.

2. Spent 2 months at home. I don’t know if I will ever get this sort of an opportunity again. I had a wonderful time at home. Studying for my GMAT meant that I spent practically all my time at home versus the usual large chunk of holiday time that would have usually been spent with friends.

It was a wonderful time- lots of good food, lots of family time, lots of study and lots of football in the evening.

3. Committed to a financial plan. One of the first things I did after I signed my contract was do detailed financial planning and commit to how I would spend my money.

eg: Committed to saving 15% every month, only ever taking a maximum of 1 credit card, paying off all my immediate cash flow debts that arose from signing the contract for our house (agent fees, advance etc)first and most importantly, commitment to live like a frugal student as much as I can.

These commitments have stood me in good stead. Some of these, of course, have changed with time thanks to books I’ve read and people I’ve spoken to but the principles have remained.

4. Continued commitment to ‘initiatives’. Initiatives are all these little projects that I’ve been working on. I was determined to keep them going and they have each taken lives of their own. Weekends are busy, but meaningful and I can’t imagine life without them.

That’s the list that came to mind. Questions are welcome. Additions, of course, are very welcome.. :-