Month: October 2011

That hasn’t changed with work, of course. If anything, the breaks have become shorter.

Over time, I’ve gone through a learning curve when it comes to taking trips back ‘home’ or to ‘home-like’ places to meet loved ones, close friends, family. In my first few trips, I used to try and jam everything and everyone in. So, my breaks were never truly ‘breaks’. They felt like work. And I never had enough of anything. When I was meeting one friend, I had to ensure I was off soon because a whole bunch of such catch ups would be ruined. Heck, I was busier during vacations than any other time of the year!

I also realized I often came back from such ‘breaks’ unsatisfied. They were busy, but not meaningful.

There were 2 big realizations that changed that. The first was the importance of putting ourselves on top of the holiday priority list and the second was by focusing on making catch ups and conversations meaningful.

The first required a lot of practice in terms of using my self discipline muscle to say ‘NO’ when a No was required. And the second has involved a real effort to have few catch ups, but to keep them meaningful.

I was in Singapore for a few days to get my Permanent Residency and this realistically meant one weekend and maybe a couple of other evenings of catch up time. And the focus on keeping it meaningful was, hence, paramount. The way our lives go these days, we can talk so much without really saying anything. And when you live a few thousand miles away and get to meet only for a couple of hours every few months, such conversations can be both frustrating and useless. Meeting friends/loved ones at nice restaurants, at old ‘haunts’ or in a different environment altogether have worked well for me as great environments to catch up. Playing Risk all night with friends, as I always realize, is another fantastic excuse to spend time and connect.  :)

And as is the case with relationships, staying in touch while being away also help us pick up from where we left off. As a friend put it nicely, you can’t tune in and tune out of relationships. You’re either in them or are getting phased out.

There’s no perfect formula to making such meets meaningful. Most of all, I’ve found that it takes a desire to make them count. And I’ve found that I’m quite enjoying such ‘catch up’ trips of late as I’m getting better at managing myself and my energy during these trips. This trip was one such example.

It was short. But meaningful. 

But, there’s also a special truth about great learnings – they touch a chord every time we remember them. So, when I received this today, I thought I would share..

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The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip.

You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.

4 Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.

These are not second-rate achievers.

They are the best in their fields.

But the applause dies.

Awards tarnish.

Achievements are forgotten.

Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier? The lesson:

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money or the most awards.

They simply are the ones who care the most.

Let’s spend a moment a moment thinking about those who’ve made a difference in our lives. And if you haven’t written to them in a long time, do send them a note.. :)

Oh, and don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia!

Be Yourself! Everyone Else Is Taken!

On a Saturday afternoon in the year 2000, movie goers had settled in their seats for the movie ‘Payback’. They were given soft drink and popcorn.
There was something unusual with the popcorn though – it was wretched! It had been popped 5 days earlier and was stale.

Half got a medium size bucket while the remaining got a large size. Both buckets were so big that no one could finish either. At the end of the movie, researchers measured the amount of popcorn that was eaten. The results were stunning – People with large buckets ate 53% more i.e. 21 extra hand dips and 173 extra calories.

Imagine someone gave you the popcorn study results without mentioning the bucket sizes. You would see that some ate a little, some ate a lot while some seemed to be testing the limits of the human stomach! Armed with a data set like that, you could easily jump to the conclusion that there are some gluttons that need serious motivation to adopt a healthier lifestyle.

But, wait a minute. What you realize from the story is that you don’t need to worry about people’s attitudes and motivations. If you want people to eat less popcorn, just give them smaller buckets!

What looks like a people problem is often a situation problem..

What looks like a people problem is often a situation problem. Simple. And Profound.
I am finding Chip and Dan Heath’s book to be a gold mine. Many more stories to come in the coming weeks..

Here’s to tweaking situations to change behavior this week!

I was naturally speaking of my admiration for the Singapore system where there is 0 (or close to 0) corruption, an anomaly for Asian political systems. He rightly pointed out that while Singapore’s system meant  very high salaries for politicians, (The Singapore group is among the best paid in the world) Scandinavia had an even more impressive record. No corruption despite the normal levels of income for politicians. It was just a part of life where he came from – corruption was not built into the system. Broken promises were not the norm.

That moment, I was caught wondering what growing up in a place with no corruption, no broken promises would be like? I don’t take the approach of blaming India’s politicians and leaders – they are, after all, a reflection of it’s people.

I just wondering when we will learn that these un-corrupt systems make for better and richer systems and in many cases, more happier. However, it requires everyone to sign up to doing their bit for a greater good. And it requires us to build circumstances/situations that will encourage such behavior.

For I don’t worry about whether the Indian/Asian people are up to the task. As I am learning from Switch (a great book by Dan and Chip Heath on change), what looks like a people problem is often a situation problem. Besides, I have seen the same Indian who litters habitually in India staying absolutely clean abroad.

I think the trick will be creating an environment where they can be the best version of themselves. And until Asia can do that, I guess a big part of me will still remain skeptical about Asia being the next super power. There may be a shift in the balance of cash and financial power, sure, but it won’t count for much if the people aren’t ready for the responsibility that goes with it. 

This is pretty incredible given there are more than 6 billion of us. All originals. And all weird, in our own sweet way.

I think it takes a lot of time to accept this fact – it was for me, atleast. As a close friend remarked yesterday, it’s been over 5 years since I left home. And these 5 years have been an incredible experience – applying principles learnt at home, assimilating from the ‘real’ world and meeting and spending time with many fantastic people. The best way I’ve understood this over time is by thinking of those I consider my own ‘Board of Directors’ –  these are some great folks who I go to for mentorship and advice. It’s amazing how different and diverse they are in their approaches. A couple of examples come to mind – while one doesn’t believe in the importance of birthdays, another would swear by them and similarly, while one swears by the importance of motivational/self-help books, another doesn’t believe in self help books at all.

Over time, I’ve learnt to appreciate their differences as I realize it is that diversity that contributes to my learning and understanding of the fact that we are all weird. And it is this diversity that has gradually led me to accept myself as I am (It’s still an ongoing process). Over time, I’ve learnt to understand and appreciate the differences between principles and approaches because I realize that while their approaches may be different, it’s their principles that I respect – incredible levels of integrity, commitment to family and relationships and a spirit of lifelong learning.

The reason I say this is because, like many many others, I felt that tinge of sadness when I read about Steve Jobs’ death. And I found myself reflecting on this whole concept of principles and approaches in relation to him.

I had just recently read ‘The Second Coming of Steve Jobs’ by Alan Deutschman – a book that gave brilliant insight into the man. His was the typical story of a young man caught in the media’s eye and struggling with what it meant for him and what to do about it. The book details tales of his often fearsome personality and it made me wonder if I would have wanted to work with him IF I had a chance.

And, after reading the book, I remember thinking there would be no way I would have done so. He seemed like quite a crazy personality.

That knee-jerk reaction came back to me as I was thinking of Principles and Approaches the other day. And I realized that what I was reacting to was his ‘Approach’ i.e. his often unpredictable personality. And it was when I reflected on his principles – of excellence, of continuous improvement, of a relentless search for perfection, of minimalism – that I realized that my thinking needed a different perspective.

(Of course, there are a lot of big assumptions here in this hypothetical situation. But, well, what are we without our imagination? ;))

He once said – ‘My job is to not be easy on people. My job is to make them better.’ 


I think that said it all.

Thanks Steve, for being weird. And changing the world, for the better. You will be missed. 

And, after a statue day yesterday, I was on the lookout for some inspiration and I opened up my blogroll this morning to read..
—
Expanding the circle of ‘missed’ by Seth Godin

Would they miss you if you didn’t show up? Would they miss your brand or your writing or your leadership?

If you work at the local fast food joint or the local library and you don’t show up for work, do they consider shutting the place down? If you’re on the team at the ER and you have a bad day, would someone die?

Everyone is capable of being missed. Most of us would be missed by our family if we secretly moved to Perth in the middle of the night. The question, then, is not whether or not you’re capable of being missed. The question is whether you will choose to be missed by a wider circle of people.

It’s a risk, of course. You have to extend yourself. You must make promises (and then keep them.) More pressure than it might be worth.

Except when it is.
—
It spoke to me.

We live, we do, occasionally we succeed, other times we don’t, we learn, we live..
Thanks Seth, for the inspiration.