generally, there is something up. There’s something else within.
Probably, my biggest learning from a book titled ‘Difficult Conversations’ was that there are times when people give you feedback and instead of starting with positive feedback and then moving on to the negatives, start with the negatives and bombard you with them and finally say a few nice things. Both cases may be genuine but it does sting in the 2nd case. Now, the learning basically says that we might be very tempted to give the person feedback on how to give feedback; however, we shouldn’t do it as it would be the wrong thing to do. The reason being that feedback is all about feeling and behind the negative feedback(in most cases), there is genuine care and concern and by giving them feedback is like us trying to even it out..
Anyway, I had the opportunity to implement this(finally!) and I was long waiting for this because I had committed the earlier mistake once too often before I learnt this from the book. And it turned out fine, there was a reason why the feedback was so structured and I was happy that I avoided an unnecessary confrontation..
Patience pays! :D