The moving to do list – from GigaOm

Fantastic Post
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We all have to-do lists. There are things we want to accomplish and things we think we need to accomplish, so we put it all in a list, and we get to work. At the end of the day, we look at the list, but there’s one item that didn’t get completed, so we move it forward to tomorrow’s list, but tomorrow, the same thing happens, and it keeps happening, until we finally realize that we have no real intention of getting that one thing done.

I call these items a “moving to-do list,” and I’m always on the lookout for them. They’re those things that follow me around for weeks or months on end, until I finally own up to it and say, “I’m never going to get to that. I might as well quit moving it forward.”

I’m not talking about those pesky to-dos that eventually really do have to get done. I have a couple of them on my list right now, things like fixing a mirror on my vanity or the trip lever on my bathtub. Eventually, if I keep ignoring those to-dos and moving them forward on my list instead of just doing them, the mirror on my antique vanity will break, and my bathtub won’t drain (not good). Hopefully, I’ll get to those things before that happens, but the point is, eventually, as annoying as they might be, we get to these kinds of things, because if we don’t, there are consequences.

What I’m talking about are those things that might not have obvious consequences if we fail to do them, or that have consequences we’re subconsciously willing to pay. These are things like:

1. Writing that book we’ve been meaning to write, or
2. Launching that new product or service. or
3. Making changes to our service offerings or websites so that we stop taking on certain types of clients.

These are those tasks that we’re avoiding for some reason, and we need to figure out why. A few of the possible reasons?

Obligation. We keep saying to the people around us (business and accountability partners, customers and clients, family and friends) that we’re going to write that book. We say that it’s something we really want to do, or we say that it will bring in additional revenue for our businesses, but it turns out that we’re not really all that motivated to do it, yet we keep moving the task forward, because we’ve promised that that’s what we’re going to do.

Guilt. We think it’s something we should do, maybe because everyone else manages to get it done or because it’s our “responsibility” to do it, but internally, we’re doing it for all the wrong reasons and don’t really want to do it, and we feel guilty because of that, so we just keep moving forward and saying that we’re going to get it done.

Motivation (or lack of it). A lot of the tasks we take on are driven by financial motivations. Maybe we want to (or think we should) make more money, but in reality, we’re quite comfortable where we are, so even though we might think or say that we want to achieve greater financial success, the financial motivation alone is never going to be enough to make us do the task, but we keep moving it forward, because we think we should want more money.
At the end of the day, it comes down to acceptance. Acceptance of what we really want, of our own definition of success, and of who we really are (and who we’re not).

Once you accept all those things and are OK, saying, “You know what, I just don’t even really want that. It’s not who I am, it’s not what I want, and it’s not important for me to be happy,” give it up. Take it off the list and file it away as a “someday/maybe,” if you think it will ever come back on the radar or if you need that little bit of security, just in case you change your mind.

The bottom line is that a moving to-do list adds unnecessary stress and frustration and a feeling of failure, when really you’re just attempting to achieve something that you don’t even want or that’s some arbitrary achievement that won’t even matter to you if you do accomplish it. Let it go, and be OK with it. Free up that mind space for something that you actually do want and that you stand a chance of accomplishing, because you won’t get in your own way.

What needs to be taken off your moving to-do list?

On setting a worthy goal..

Thanks to Ultimate Sales Success, the audio book that’s been a source of some very interesting learnings, I have been thinking about a one line goal for myself in the coming year. So, as an Associate in my 1st job, I’ve been mulling over an inspiring target –

a) Should I aim to be the best associate in my company? (Issue: Too small a goal + extrinsic)
b) Maybe aim to be the best associate in the world? (Issue: Again, extrinsic)

That’s when I came across a quote about a sportsman (a cricketer by name Anil Kumble) who was not a technical genius, but had ended his career as an all time great thanks to graft, will and hard work by a leading journalist. The quote read –

‘He became the best cricketer he could be and to me that is worthy of the highest honor.’

And all of a sudden it dawned on me – my goal should be to be the ‘Best Associate I can be’ after all!
We are all playing different roles all the time – in our organization, community and family. It is VERY easy to get lost in comparisons as whichever ladder we choose to climb, reaching the top is about the journey and constantly trying to ‘better’ others never leads to any happiness.

This week, let’s ask ourselves the question – ‘How can I be the best boss/employee/father/mother I can be?’

It will require us to dig deep within, require us to play to our strengths and I’m certain it will be a fantastic experience.

Difficult Conversations..

It takes courage to accept what you feel..
as you are often riddled with self doubt about whether it is justified

It takes courage to be open about your feelings..
as common practice is to subordinate them for social acceptance

It takes courage to sit a friend down and express your dissatisfaction at something he/she is doing..
as common practice would mean getting back at him/her.

It takes tremendous courage to vent out your frustrations at the risk of upsetting another person..
as the ‘easy’ path would be to try and sweep those frustrations under the carpet

After all, strength comes not from hiding weakness, but from accepting weakeness and acting on it.

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There are times when people you love make you proud by showing tremendous courage. Celebrate it.. shout it out..

I sure am..

The challenges never stop..

This is picked up from the PlugIn ID blog –

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I got into this process of self-improvement because I never wanted to have a bad day again. I wanted to create a utopia – in my mind – so the world could never hurt me in any way. I wanted a state of permanent happiness, of endless joy, and was willing to do all the studying it took of philosophy and psychology in order to make it happen.

You know what?
I got to the point where I was happy – but I realized there is no escape from the pain, sadness, and exhaustion that is so common in our world. None. No matter what happens, even if you become “enlightened” (and I’m certainly not), there will always be trials in our life that test our courage, strength, and resilience. They will push us to our limits, they will hurt us, and we’ll have to fight through them every time.
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I can’t agree more. I had a similar motivation when I first started this blog – to learn every day and hopefully reach a point where it’s all happiness and where I don’t get down on simple stuff easily.

I’ve realized a few things –

-> Happiness is purely internal..
-> In the long run, subordinating your moods generally results in more self control
-> Try as you might, life will make sure everyone gets their share of ups and downs
-> Our reaction to an action is infinitely more important than the action..
-> ‘You can either run from it or learn from it’ – Here, ‘run from’ can be substituted with ‘dread’, ‘despise’, ‘curse’ among others..

And finally..
-> The challenges NEVER stop..

Remembering Rudyard Kipling..
‘If you can meet with triumph and disaster
and treat those two impostors just the same‘ ..

If..

I can’t, not yet atleast.. but I do believe I will get there..

Drivers, Creatives, Analytics and Amiables – How to Present your ideas super effectively..

There are essentially 4 tendencies in people –

The Driver: This tendency is the one that aids us when we need to get stuff done, when we ignore food, relaxation etc to get a task done.
Creative: This is the part of us that loves painting visions to stimulate our intellect.
Analytical: This part makes us ache for facts, for numbers to solidify our belief in a concept.
Amiable: This characteristic encompasses the desire to please.

While all of us have all 4 characteristics, ONE characteristic is always particularly dominant. When we look at this list, we should (ideally) be able to identify with our most dominant characteristic.

And here’s how to apply it –

Let’s imagine we are trying to present an idea to our bosses/clients, do we know what characteristics define them? I think this is a great way to crack the ‘managing the boss/client‘ problem!

Secondly, imagine we are delivering a presentation to a large audience, do we have enough straight applications to life, creative ideas, facts and an engaging presence to keep all 4 kinds of people engaged?

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Food for thought.. :)