A Learning a Day

I just read a very nice note from an acquaintance/old friend on Facebook. It was one of those notes that had me nodding as I was reading it. It took me about two minutes and I was just about to close the tab on it.

I paused. ‘Why am I not telling him so?’ said a voice in my head

‘Why bother? Would it make a difference?’

‘What if you had been in his place? ‘

‘Touche. No excuses then.’

I spent an extra minute thinking about what I wanted to say and did. And at that moment, I realized how much of an effort contributing takes, particularly when you know the person. 

A close friend of mine had an interesting theory about social media. We were discussing the modern ability of building followership thanks to blogs, twitter etc. His insight was that you can only do that if you have more new/online friend followers than existing friend followers. You will grow the moment the ratio tips.

Interesting, isn’t it?

His rational was that existing friends friends who like the content you create are less likely to do things that help your presence – retweet, comment, share, like etc. Essentially, existing friends are happier reading versus contributing. And that’s not only because it takes effort. There’s just some social baggage that tends to hold us back..

Today, I fully appreciated the wisdom behind his point. I also know that, even as a new/online friend, the switch to contributing was a tough jump.

And I thought I’d write in to let you guys know that I really appreciate the effort so many of you make to write about your meaningful experiences, learnings and stories in the comments. The past month or so has been a real treat with a few comments on every post and I work hard to make sure I keep up the commitment from my side too. Even on days like today when I’m behind on my email, I work to make sure that I have replied to every comment.

It’s my way of saying ‘I love you guys too!’ :-) And again, thank you. There are few things that equal the excitement of getting a reaction on something you share – your additional thoughts, points of views, criticisms, thank you’s – they all count!

I also thought about a note I received from a regular reader of this blog over the weekend. She mentioned that she always sets out to comment but is always stopped by company policy that makes Disqus/social media inaccessible. I bet she’s not alone. Thanks to those of you who write in every once in a while sharing your thoughts. Those emails never fail to make my day. (Of course, I’m hoping you guys will take your phone out and comment in the future.. haha.)

The final thought that came to mind was about the golden rule. We often think of the golden rule when we think of things we should not do. We shouldn’t do to others what we wouldn’t want done to us, after all.

I find that I very rarely think of it in terms of things I should do. And, like today, I found that that small question inspired a small change in behavior, a rush of gratitude and then the post for the day.

Must do more often.

Over the past 2 months, I’ve regularly been on a 2 hour commute to work. And yes, that’s 2 hours one way. And no, it’s not exactly 2 hours. It’s probably around 1 hour 45 minutes but 2 hours sounds a tad more heroic.

It isn’t a long term thing of course. If it was, I would have shifted closer to my new temporary place of work. But I’ve had a few meaningful lessons through this experience.

The first lesson is an understanding of the effect something can have on your mind. It took about two weeks before the commute stopped becoming a big deal in my head. Two whole weeks! The learning here was to ignore stuff my mind blows out of proportion.

The second lesson is that this is a truly wonderful time to be alive. Thanks to technology, I have enough and more to do during this time – listen to audio books, clear out my email, catch up on my google reader, make phone calls among others. Spoilt for choice really.

The third lesson is that choices are not good for happiness. They make us unhappy. This was evident in my first couple of weeks when I was toying with the idea of finding a place close to the new workplace temporarily. Every day, the debate raged – should I? should I not? There wasn’t a clear answer. So, I was wisely advised to shut down the other option and get on with it. And of course, revisit it if necessary.

The fourth lesson is the the amazing thing about making decisions. Decisions close doors. And if there’s a problem, you can make another decision to change things anyway.

The fifth lesson is the power of context. In 1 hour 45 minutes, you can take a round trip around Singapore (more or less). But, 1 hour 45 minutes only gets you from the centre to one end of London. Thanks to the average commute in London being 1 hour 15 minutes, this doesn’t feel all that bad. However, in Singapore, this would be madness.

I remember a similar experience in the middle east where driving 2 hours every day was seen as no big deal.

It’s all relative.

This final lesson is the most important one. It’s the magic of perspective. My mom told me a story in the early days when I was still struggling with the idea of the commute.

There was a monk who decided to climb a peak so he could meditate right on top. It took him 1 painful week to climb up but the experience on top was incredible. So, he did it again. And again and again until climbing up the peak was no big deal. Whether something is a  mountain or molehill depends your perspective.

I think she made the story up to suit the situation. But, it turned out to be one hell of a story. Our perspective does indeed make all the difference in the world.

Oh, and finally, I also find myself smiling at the amazing story value this experience would have. Imagine telling my grandkids ‘When I was your age, I used to commute 2 hours and never complain..’

Now THAT would be fun..

Three years or so ago, I was on my way back to university by the MRT in Singapore. I met Anoj, a fellow university student who was in his final semester after a long time. We didn’t know each other too well and had had a bit of a stormy acquaintanceship in the past (haha). Luckily, that didn’t get in the way of us talking about our plans of the future.

He spoke of an idea he was working on – Microfinance to help India’s poor. They were about to begin with a pilot to see if the idea was feasible before embarking on the journey full time.

Three years later, Milaap has gone on to raise $200,000 and change 4,000 lives. All this with a 100% repayment rate. If that isn’t amazing, I don’t know what is!

The concept is simple – Nagendra, a 35 year old, needs around $1000 of capital to set up a handicraft business to manufacture bags and cushions. The capital would enable him to purchase raw materials and now, thanks to Milaap, he has access to lenders who would enable him to have the money. He expects to pay it back in monthly instalments over the next 2 years.

Or let’s take a more pressing issue – water. Milaap estimates that 500 million people, 50% of India’s population, do not have access to clean drinking water. And just a loan of $24 could help provide drinking water for a person for life.

This is of course not charity. You can choose to think of it as such but at the current moment, the loan repayment rate has been 100%.

2 friends of mine decided to take it a step further yesterday. Vikram and Shiva cycled 24 km in a campaign to raise awareness for water. Their employers have agreed to match the first $1,500 received. Here’s a video of an exhausted Vikram explaining why they did it.