On brand

There’s something beautiful about watching behavior that is “on brand.”

A brand, as the tradition definition goes, is a set of associations. Amazon conjures up associations of “value” or “fast,” Ritz Carlton points to “luxury”  and so on.

Another way to think about brands is to equate them to integrity – or the ability to make and keep commitments. When an organization makes a commitment to quality and keeps it, it builds a brand around quality. When a person makes a commitment around enthusiasm, he/she builds a brand around it.

Regular readers here know how much I love “The Piano Guys.” My main association with The Piano Guys is “uplifting.” Their music, their themes, their ideas, their personalities – they are all uplifting. They all tell us to be our best selves – in one way or the other.

So, when The Piano Guys released the song “This is exactly what you want to hear today – Okay,” it was a perfect illustration of being on brand. It was uplifting. Integrity – check.

[embedyt] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pBjopDymts%5B/embedyt%5D

Here are a few excerpts from the story behind the song

We’re all struggling with something – a debilitating weakness or illness. Or someone we love is barely holding on.

We watch the news. We see the tweets, the Facebook posts. The YouTube comments! We hear about hate, terror and despair. But just because what sells, what goes “viral,” or what gets attention may try to drown out the good in the world, it doesn’t mean that goodness is gone. Just because choruses of controversy and scandal shout louder than quiet symphonies of service, it doesn’t mean that inside most of us still genuinely want happiness not only for ourselves, but also our family, our friends, and our fellow human beings.

Media can make the world look bleak. They’ve given themselves this job description, in part because there’s a darker side on the surface of human nature that feeds on fear and cynicism. But deep down, we are beings of light. And in the end, since darkness is merely the absence of light, light will inevitably overcome dark.

This is the essence of hope. And the essence of this song. “No matter what you’ve been through, no matter if you think you’re falling apart, it’s gonna be okay.”

Do check it out.

And, of course, whatever you might be going through – it will, eventually, be okay. :)

Thank you, The Piano Guys.

Leadership and imagination

There’s an obvious application for imagination when you are leading a team. It is in imagining an inspiring vision. “Visionary” is often among the first words used to describe great leaders. And, the word “visionary” is associated with a leader’s ability to conjure a vision few others had thought of. However, there is another place where leadership and imagination go together. And, I’d argue that this place is just as important.

It is leading people with imagination. One of the biggest challenges for leaders is to manage people as they are but lead them as they could be. It is an important distinction. As you eke out efficiency from your team, you need to manage people by designing contexts that help people be productive as is. Helping your team be productive, in turn, helps them feel successful. And, this drives more learning and more productivity. The question that drives this is – “How can I help ___ be more productive?”

However, as you put on your leadership hat, it is vital you ask yourself – “What could this person be 5 or 10 years from now? And, what can I do to help this person be that best version of themselves?” The brightest, most precocious talents often threaten managers who don’t understand them or who don’t understand that they need to put on their leadership hat every once a while. People who aren’t understood can also be exasperating. It is easy to focus on productivity as it is somewhat measurable. And, we, as humans, gravitate to things we can measure. That’s exactly why leadership and imagination go together.

As you lead people, you have to imagine what might happen if all their hidden potential was harnessed. Your 21 year old analyst, in your eyes, shouldn’t be a 21 year old intern who doesn’t know how to do the basic things right. Your imagination must work hard to transform that 21 year old into a seasoned professional who is working her ass off to make a difference while living her life in a way that she describes as fulfilling. Seeing people in such light will transform both your relationship with her and how you treat her. You will still push her to deliver quality work on that next deadline. But, you will also engage her in discussions about her future and pull her into interesting discussions that are well above what she might think she’s ready for.

Manage people for who they are. Lead them imagining what they could be.

This is hard to do because it often doesn’t feel like it is paying off for the longest time.

Until it does.

Discussing ideas versus discussing people

Eleanor Roosevelt once said – “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.” I think this is a great quote but it isn’t one that is easily understood. It seems to point to a choice between discussing ideas and discussing people. But, I think it isn’t about whether we talk about people, it is about how we do it.

We could talk about people when we discuss ideas, events and, of course, people. The small mind version of the conversation would be gossip. The average mind version would be about what they did. The great mind conversation would be about how they operate. This conversation inevitably is one about what we learn. These are often fine lines though and it isn’t easy to be objective about this. And, I think the reason for this difficulty is because we can often let get personal biases about someone get in the way of discussing how they operate.

I find it important to distinguish between 2 questions –
1. What can I learn from him/her?
2. Do I want to be like her/him?

We often conflate a learning discussion to one about whether we like their style or would like to adopt it. Separating our thoughts about these questions allows us to stay in the realm of ideas.

And, as a general rule, I’ve found it to be best to be liberal about who we learn from and to be very selective with who we emulate.

What’s the point

The path we implicitly sign up for in a professional career is one with continuous movement upward. A sign of progress is having fancier possessions and fancier titles every few years. With it comes an implicit promise of bigger impact. So, every once a while, I find it helpful to ask “what’s the point?”

Most of life’s pleasures are cheap or free. Sure, it is nice to splurge on a nice vacation every once a while. And, maybe some nice additions to our home would make life more convenient. But, for most of us, we probably have all the fundamental parts of Maslow’s hierarchy in place. Earning a lot more money isn’t going to step change our happiness. It might make things easier. But, since when has easy been better?

Furthermore, we learn, time and time again, that few things matter more than the people in our lives. And, again, for most of us, we don’t presumably make friends based on someone’s title. We make friends because they’re people we appreciate, learn from and enjoy spending time with. I have met with enough fancy titled folk over the years to realize there is absolutely no correlation between someone’s career accomplishments and my appreciation for them. The folks I’ve come to love are those who don’t care about any such race. They just deeply care about everyone around them, strive to grow through the daily struggle and work hard to make an impact.

So, what’s the point? If our fundamental assumption around progress is in question, where does that leave us?

My hypothesis is that asking this question can be incredibly liberating. We are surrounded by so much noise – none of which moves the needle in our happiness and fulfillment. And, most of this noise is surrounded with obsessing about our path forward.

So, here’s where I end up – never mind the future. Just understand which direction you are heading. Look at the map, but not too much. Look behind to learn from what happened – but, not too much. Enjoy the company of those who’re around you. Look them in the eye, smile and help them grow through the journey. Help those along the way who are less fortunate. And, critically, enjoy the now yourself.

In the final analysis, it is the happiness and impact you make during the journey that will matter. They aren’t waiting at a future stop.

Plant trees now

Plant trees now. Plant them well before you need the fruit.

If we aren’t careful, our life and careers can become an exercise of searching for answers to the question – “But, what can I do to make that happen now?” This could be about looking to build a strong collection of referrals to a job we want. It could also be about meeting the desire to work on a fulfilling side project. But, we can rest assured that the moment we ask the “But, what can I do now?” question, it is already too late.

It is impossible to find the perfect referral for a job we want tomorrow, unrealistic we will find a great story filling that gap in our application for our essays to university day after and unlikely we will get healthy enough to pass our annual physical in a week.

But, how could we have known?

By teaching ourselves to think longer term and continuously investing in ourselves and others. Every minute we spend thinking long term is a minute spent planting trees. Every minute we spend investing in our growth or that of others is also a minute spent planting trees. This includes all the time we spend studying, connecting, helping, thinking and working toward becoming our best self. This isn’t about moving toward specific goals as much it is moving in their direction. Want to be a healthy person? Start today by making small changes to your lifestyle. Want to work in virtual reality in year? Start today by connecting with people in Virtual Reality with no intention but to learn about what they do.

There isn’t a shortcut to this. There’s no point looking back at lamenting un-planted trees either. For a more healthy, fulfilling life, we need to plant more trees than we’ll ever need. As the Chinese proverb goes, the best time to plant them was twenty years ago. However, if we let that pass us by, there’s no point in fretting.

After all, the second best time is today.

Drinking enough water

Are you drinking enough water? A friend went down the path and stumbled onto something insightful – the more you drink water, the quicker you feel thirsty. Suddenly, drinking enough water becomes very easy.

I think this is the case with most things in life – both good and bad. It is how you’d describe addiction.

Sadly, the moment I said addiction – you probably pictured one of tobacco, drugs or alcohol. But, it need not be the case. Here are 5 alternative worthwhile addictions –

1. Enough sleep
2. Healthy food
3. Exercise
4. Journaling
4. Reading books

Somehow, we’ve come to associate the items with the list with that experience of eating greens as a child. But, all you need to do is give one of these a shot. For example, just try reading a great non-fiction book that you’d like to read this week. I’d be surprised if you aren’t already excited about the next.

When I started reading regularly a few years ago, I did it to check a box – read 30 minutes at least on 4 weekdays. But, then, a couple of books in, I could feel myself getting excited about the insights I was picking up. Suddenly, the world didn’t look or feel the same again. I wanted more. Years later, books still continue to deliver and continue to keep shaping how I think of the world. I just finished listening to “The Accidental Superpower” – a gripping book on Geopolitics. It has changed how I think about the world. I am also listening to “Shoe Dog” by Nike founder Phil Knight. It is as beautifully written, authentic and inspiring a listen as they come.

I can say this for every one of these addictions.

The friend who shared her water insight wondered why people don’t share that drinking enough water gets easier over time.

So, I thought I’d take a cue from her and do just that with you today. Doing the good stuff may feel hard at first. But, it gets easier. It also gets better. And, most importantly, it feels great.

And, if someone ever tells you otherwise, send me an email on rohan at rohanrajiv.com and I’ll help set that right.

PS: If you are ever wondering about whether you are drinking enough water, simply take a look at your pee.

Our body and science. Crazy awesome. I agree.

Extreme preparation – The 200 words project

Roald Amundsen and Robert Scott had contrasting approaches in their race to be the first to reach the South Pole. Scott hoped for the best-case scenario. He had one thermometer and one ton of food for 17 men for the trip. He also stashed supplies for the return journey in one spot marked by a single flag (easily missed if they went off course). Amundsen, on the other hand, prepared for every scenario with multiple thermometers, three tons of food and planted 20 markers around their return supplies. Roald Amundsen exemplified extreme preparation and read obsessively for his journey whereas Robert Falcon Scott did the bare minimum.

While Amundsen’s team made history, Robert Scott’s team tragically died due to fatigue, hunger and frostbite.

In their analysis of great businesses and leaders, Jim Collins and Morten Hansen found that the ones that executed most successfully did not have any better ability to predict the future than their less successful counterparts. Instead, they were the ones who acknowledged they could not predict the unexpected and therefore prepared better.

As simple as this sounds, perhaps it is worth asking ourselves before our next meeting – did we do the reading?

Outstanding leaders embrace a paradox of control and non-control. On the one hand, they understand that they face continuous uncertainty and that they cannot control, and cannot accurately predict, significant aspects of the world around them. On the other hand, they reject the idea that forces outside their control or chance events will determine their results; they accept full responsibility for their own fate. – Jim Collins and Morten Hansen, Great By Choice

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Source and thanks to: Great by Choice by Jim Collins and Morten Hansen

(The 200 words project involves sharing a story from a book/blog/article I’ve read within 200 words)

Dreams for granted

Look at your life right now. How much of your life is dreams you’ve taken for granted?

Maybe it is owning that nice car.

Or, perhaps, it is living with a partner you fell in love with.

It could also be that college education.

What about your job? Your kid? Your lovely home? Or, that neighborhood?

But, every time you realized a dream, you were probably off thinking about the next one. Got into college? Seems like we should think about getting that job. Got that job? Maybe it is time to start worrying about that career. It is a never ending cycle.

And, as we run like ferrets from one day to the next, it is easy to forget that most of what we take for granted today was the stuff of our dreams a few years ago. Now, there always is a reason to be dissatisfied. There is always someone around us with the fancier home and the bigger car. But, it is easy to forget that our biggest dreams as kids revolved around wanting to earn our own money and to make our own decisions. And, voilà! Look at how well that turned out.

There will always be that next dream. While pursuing these dreams makes our life what it is, just for today – let’s stop for a moment, look around, take a deep breath and give thanks to this life. Perhaps, as we look around, we’ll realize that we should stop spending as much time in the future that we’re dreaming about.

For, it is very likely that we are already living a life that is the stuff of our dreams.

Notes on responses

16 notes on responses –

1. An immediate response to a situation is a reaction. A response, on the other hand, is a reaction after some thought and consideration. This ability to find space between a situation and a response is what Stephen Covey described as “being proactive.” It is an important part of what makes us human. We have the freedom to choose.

2. Anything that affects us is our problem. And, if it is our problem, it is our responsibility to choose a response.

3. Is there ever a right response to a problem? I don’t think so. There is, however, a “best case” response to a problem for a particular person. Different situations affect people in different ways. I have been in situations where others’ responses made no sense to me. But, I’ve been in just as many situations where I could see that my response to a situation made no sense to others. Our past experiences play a big role in our reactions. So, it is often hard to predict the results of the reaction unless you’ve seen someone (or yourself) react to something similar before.

4. More often than not,  a “best case” response involves proper deliberation and a measured, non-attached response.

5. A non-attached response isn’t the same as one without emotion. Non-attachment involves emotion involved in the process – in dealing with the situation, weighing the process and picking what feels like the best outcome. It just means we don’t attach any emotion on the result of our actions.

6. There is no point judging our responses to a situation. Asking “why do I feel this way?” or saying “I should not be feeling this way” are just ways of denying how we feel. The first step to solving any problem is to accept it. And, denial of any sort gets in the way of acceptance.

7. The DABDA framework for dealing with our emotions is pretty powerful. DABDA describes the 5 stages of coping with something difficult – denial, anger, bargaining with ourselves, depression, acceptance. It has its issues. For example, any response could be described as denial. But, limitations aside, it does a good job on walking us through the process.

8. As humans, we care about resolving situations. Uncertainty messes with our psyche. That’s why learning to respond in a measured manner involves learning some very powerful life lessons. It teaches us to be patient by demanding it of us.

9. Emotional reactions to tough situations can work. But, they rarely do. There is a lot of power in controlled emotion. But, the key word there is controlled.

10. A fantastic response that I’ve seen work in most situations is to find humor in them – especially the kind that involves taking yourself less seriously. In the book “The Art of Possibility,” the authors call it “Rule No.6 – Don’t take yourself so damn seriously.” That said, humor only comes naturally to few people. For the rest of us, it is hard work. :)

11. There are alternate ways to diffuse the tension of course. Another is to simply treat every system as a game and to focus on simply gaming the system. This is less about humor and more about making solving problems fun. Having difficulty getting your kid to eat vegetables? See if you can make it into a game where you try multiple approaches until you solve the problem.

12. The other side of all this is to pick a very small list of things that you seek to maximize. Of course, this is easier said than done and it comes a lot easier to some than others. The important thing isn’t the method. There is enough choice out there for us to pick one that suits our style. The important thing is to pick.

13. Related to not judging ourselves, the worst thing we can do is be harsh to ourselves when we are experiencing emotions. This generally leads to a bad cycle of guilt and shame that lead absolutely nowhere. Reflecting on our reactions generally sucks. We always learn something less flattering about ourselves. We have to learn to reflect without judgment. And, the way to do that is to focus on what we are learning about ourselves and our quirks.

14. The hardest thing about responding well to situation is keeping perspective. If you are reading this, it is likely that most problems you face are variants of first world problems. That doesn’t mean they need to be discounted. Anything that effects us is a problem after all. We just need to remember that we have far fewer excuses to be unhappy. We don’t really know what difficult is.

15. There is no replacement for thoughtfulness. This isn’t limited to responses alone, of course. Also, a tool to aid thought is writing. When in difficulty, write things down. It helps clarify our thinking.

16. Watching ourselves respond to situations is a fantastic learning experience. I had a recent situation where I definitely was making a mountain out a molehill. And, I soon realized that the problem was the not the situation but my reaction to it. And, being upset with myself wasn’t going to solve. Instead, I learnt that the intensity of my reaction was a reflection of how much I cared. Now, I just needed to design a thoughtful, constructive response. And, I was glad for the ability to put all this thought about responses into a tiny situation. So much better to do it in practice versus attempting to learn it at a situation equivalent to a world cup final.

Finally and most importantly, it got me to think about 16 lessons about responses. And, for that I am grateful.

First thing

What is the first thing that gets thrown out of the window when things get busy or difficult?

In my life, it used to be either sleep or exercise a few years ago. I know folk who would point to a good diet or reading good books. And, then there are others who would probably point to time with family.

The first thing thrown out of the window is very instructive because it generally points to the thing we take for granted. If we take our health for granted, we’d probably throw sleep, exercise or food. If we take our growth for granted, we’d probably throw books or learning. And, if we take our relationships for granted, we’d ignore them while we are busy.

All of these are the easy choices. That’s why we let go of them so easily when push comes to shove. But, more often than not, easy is a good proxy for wrong.

Every one of these falls under the “important and not urgent” bucket. And, we’ll never get to the important investments if all we do is fight fires every day. Furthermore, the challenge with many of these investments is that, unlike the urgent stuff, it doesn’t feel like our effort is paying off for the longest time.

Until it does.