A Learning a Day

“Watching the man, hard-of-hearing, hard-of-speech Patty learns that real joy consists of knowing that human wisdom counts less than the shimmer of beeches in a breeze. As certain as weather coming from the west, the things people know for sure will change. There is no knowing for a fact. The only dependable things are humility and looking.” | Richard Powers, The Overstory

“The only dependable things are humility and looking.”

Beautiful.

“Years ago, I used to hesitate and wait situations out, often trying to fix underperforming people or products instead of pulling the plug. Back then I was seen as a much more reasonable and thoughtful leader — but that didn’t mean I was right. As I got more experience, I realized that I was often just wasting everybody’s time. If we knew that something or someone wasn’t working, why wait? As the saying goes, when there is doubt, there is no doubt.” | Frank Slootman, Amp It Up

“When there is doubt, there is no doubt” resonated deeply.

I had arrived later than I expected at the airport for a flight recently. As I entered the security check queue, I asked the lady guiding folks if she knew how long the queue would take. I asked her this in the off chance I’d need to request folks to move ahead of the line.

Her response – “Sir, this is why we say you need to get in earlier for your flight next time. Please get into this line”

I racked up a fair bit of airport experience in my past life as a management consultant. So her cryptic response didn’t create any feelings of anxiety. But it easily could have in other situations.

It turned out that the security queue moved quick and I made it to the gate with time to spare. But her response stuck with me as it got me thinking about times when I might have made the same mistake.

For starters, there were at least 3 alternative responses to that question. Examples –

(1) [Neutral] I don’t know how long but I would suggest getting into the line immediately so we can get you past security as soon as possible.
(2) [Helpful] Don’t worry – you can always ask folks ahead of you to help you if you are late.
(3) [Very helpful] It’ll only take 10 minutes. Don’t worry – you’ll make it with time to spare.

Instead, she took the moment to give me unhelpful advice.

I wonder how many times I’ve done this to others – choosing to give them unhelpful “I told you so” advice instead of finding a constructive path to progress. The number is definitely not zero.

When people are worried about something in the moment, find ways to help them deal with the worry. There’ll come a time when you’ll be able to reflect on the situation and help prevent worry in the future.

But that’s for later.

Be constructive first, be right/wise/insightful later.

A teacher I know well shared this pithy note – “Think complexly, talk simply.”

She calls on her (graduate school) students to think deeply about and wrestle with complex issues. Every topic of importance has nuance. And understanding that nuance requires us to wrestle with complexity.

But she also challenges them to talk simply by synthesizing and communicating with clarity.

It resonated.

No amount of wealth can buy good health, strong relationships, wisdom, and peace of mind.

All of these are earned with intention, attention, self awareness, and effort.

Sport has seen many miraculous moments over the years that has seen teams come together and defy seemingly insurmountable odds. Ice Hockey fans might remember “The Miracle” game. Soccer fans might remember Leicester City winning the Premier League or Manchester United or Liverpool winning the Champions League with stunning comebacks.

For Indian cricket fans, the first such miraculous moment was when the Indian cricket team beat the mighty West Indian team in the 1983 World Cup finals. I relived these moments in a well-made movie titled “83.”

One of my favorite memories from the movie was around a quote that the team rallied around. It came from the legendary captain Kapil Dev who barely knew how to speak English. He said – “Like people says, taste the success once… tongue want more.”

The quote is the subject of some hilarious and then emotional moments (1:57 in this clip) in the movie.

Story aside though, it is a good quote. Notching up wins early in our time on any team lifts everyone’s game.

“Taste the success once” indeed.

We’re allowed to feel bad, sad, disappointed, annoyed, or out-of-it.

It helps to take the time to accept what we’re feeling and to even sit with these emotions for a while.

The only accompanying requirement is that we timebox it.

That constraint forces clarity and progress.

“I have discovered that all the unhappiness of men arises from one single fact, that they cannot stay quietly in their own chamber.” | Blaise Pascal

There is no amount of love or money that can help us if we’re unable to enjoy the time we spend with ourselves.

Our ability to make peace with ourselves, to find comfort in solitude helps us act from wholeness instead of our wounds.

I heard two stories recently of folks we knew who were suffering from severe health conditions. One of these is brain-related and the other is lung cancer. They’re both in their late 40s/early 50s.

Every time I hear one of these stories, I’m reminded of the sheer randomness that defines this life and this universe. Today, we hear of things happening to someone else. Tomorrow, we might be the subject of these stories.

More than ever, these stories drive home a simple idea. If you wake up tomorrow with a reasonably functioning body, make the most of that blessing.

Do good work, be kind, laugh, do what you said you would, be generous with hugs, and, most of all, be grateful for what you have.

Life might be shorter than you think.