We welcomed our second baby a week and a half ago. I thought of the three things that I expect to happen this morning.
First, I expect to learn a ton about myself as I adapt and change how I operate. I expect to struggle through the process of more developing more flexibility and more patience while understanding how and why I make decisions the way I do. It will be a fascinating process.
Second, I expect to understand and appreciate the sheer magnitude of my wife’s contributions to this partnership a bit better. Research has shown that we all like to think of ourselves as above average contributors. While I know I’m not above average in this partnership, I expect to learn I’m likely still overestimating. We’re now at eleven years since our first date and approaching five years married – we’ve both learnt a ton about what it takes to be good partners. I don’t write enough about the importance of marrying a true partner as we’re both pretty private and wouldn’t want this blog to start having frequent public displays of affection. I slip every once a while. It is hard not to as she is a true, un-credited, co-author.
Finally, I hope to re-commit to Kahlil Gibran’s profound passage – “On Children.” It is our aspirational parental philosophy.
On Children by Kahlil Gibran
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Our son’s name is “Ved” (pronounced “bathe” with a v). It means knowledge. It felt fitting…