(1) I will only go to meetings where my absence might/will be missed. As a result, I will let the people who will be missed have their space at the (sometimes virtual) table.
(2) I will use all the newly minted spare time to ship work that matters… and, where necessary, that will ensure I will be missed in the meetings I absolutely need to go to.
The goal is impact, not growing my high profile meeting count.
“It is not hard to identify a thief. It is the one who believes everyone else steals.” | Kevin Kelly, Excellent Advice for Living
Profound.
I sometimes think of the contrast between two homes we’ve lived in.
The first set of owners invested in the best. Nearly every decision they made was one that either maintained or raised the standards of the home.
The second set consistently went for the cheap option.
Now, and this is the interesting part, the contrast between the homes on any one dimension wasn’t massive. Yes, the floors or the sliding doors could have been a lot better. Neither one on its own was a deal breaker.
But when you put them all together, the difference was staggering.
Standards – first we make them, then they make us.
One way to measure if we’re stuck in our comfort zone is to look at all the projects we’re betting on for the next 6 months and ask ourselves – what percentage of these are optimization projects with guaranteed outcomes?
If we’re pushing ourselves, more than 50% of what we’re betting on will have unknown risks/rewards.
An idea whose wisdom I’ve come to appreciate more as time passes – “Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it seems.”
Keep perspective. Keep plugging away.
The default mental model many of us have with new habits is to brute force our way in. That means committing to doing it starting tomorrow and then never breaking the streak.
This is a complete fine strategy.
Until we do break the streak for a few days. Then we do it again. And it gets harder and harder to summon the willpower to take the brute force approach each time.
An alternative approach I’ve come to appreciate is to approach new habits with a lot of patience. Try to start tomorrow. But if you miss, let that miss sink in.
If it is a habit we care about (if we don’t, it won’t last anyway), each miss will get us thinking about the system we need to get things on track. And it’ll increase our intrinsic motivation to do so.
This “pull” approach to forming habits takes a lot longer to take off.
But once it does, it has a way of staying airborne a lot longer.
When we receive feedback, it is tempting to look for ways to respond. Do something, say something, etc.
Often, the most effective thing to do is to simply let it marinate.
Sit with it, let it soak, and see how things feel after a period of time.
That feeling is often different from our initial response/reaction. The time and distance from the stimulus often gives us the space to be constructive and figure out what we want to learn from it.
Two characteristics of conversations about new or undiscussed ideas among great partners –
(1) Nobody cares about interruptions. Respect is both assumed and ever-present.
(2) Every new idea is an opportunity to build. It may either refute a previous point or build on it – but the keyword is opportunity. Nobody cares about holding back – why would you do that with people you trust? Nobody cares about who suggested the idea either. Again, why would you do that with people you trust? The conversation is often both the means to the end and the end itself. Winning is playing.
Few conversations are truly great – in that you feel the respect, trust, and energy flow. And few people – those great partners – manage to consistently deliver on great conversations.
Cherish them, we must.
“Always be clear about what game you’re playing” is an idea that’s been top of mind over the past couple of years. I keep a page in my OneNote book titled “The Game I’m Playing” and update it every 6 months.
The goal of the page is to remind myself of my approach to key decisions – career, personal wealth, etc. It is a simple and periodic way to recommit to playing long-term games.
I think it is important to be clear-headed about this because it is easy to be distracted by others who’re playing different – often short-term – games.
To that end, I came across a thought-provoking post by Kyle Harrison, a venture capitalist about games in investing and building companies. The whole post is worth reading in full as it touches on a variety of topics (including the hype around AI companies) – it has a great conclusion.
In the world of building and investing in companies, there are a LOT of different games at play. The only way to avoid finding yourself playing a stupider game is to look around and understand the games that everyone else is playing. And adjust accordingly.
I think the conclusion applies well beyond building and investing in companies. It applies to careers and to life as a whole.
Know what game you’re playing. Calibrate with the games you see around you to make sure you’re avoid playing stupid games.
Following Manchester United is my guilty pleasure. I have less time these days for said guilty pleasure. But I manage to find ways to follow all news closely, watch most highlights, and catch at least a few of the big weekend games.
I was reflecting on this “pleasure” after watching a late loss to Arsenal yesterday. It was a close game – one lost on fine margins. This typically kickstarts a period of “depression.” I stay away (relatively) from watching highlights and/or reading football news until our next win. Then I get excited. And the cycle repeats.
Whenever I think of this cycle, I’m reminded of Derek Sivers’ excellent post about drama after a talk by Kurt Vonnegut.
Vonnegut contrasts the emotional arc of a story like Cinderella…
…or a common disaster story…
…with that of our life.
Derek’s takeaway is profound
Our lives drift along with normal things happening. Some ups, some downs, but nothing to go down in history about. Nothing so fantastic or terrible that it’ll be told for a thousand years.
“But because we grew up surrounded by big dramatic story arcs in books and movies, we think our lives are supposed to be filled with huge ups and downs! So people pretend there is drama where there is none.”
That’s why people invent fights. That’s why we’re drawn to sports. That’s why we act like everything that happens to us is such a big deal.
I’ve thought about this a lot over the years. As time has passed, I’ve appreciated folks who take a “no drama” approach to life. And I think I’ve made progress over the years to that end myself.
Except, of course, when I indulge in my quota of this while watching/following premier league football.
Or maybe because of it?
A Learning a Day 