once you reach a new place! especially when there are people expecting you. If you don’t, don’t expect them to be too pleased to see you! :D

Music tastes..

This has always been a subject of intrigue personally. Very similar to the previous post, the ‘coolness’ factor varies with time! At different stages, different types of music were considered cool – hard rock, rap, metal, house etc. I’ve always found it interesting because my taste in music is pretty straightforward. I have never really gone by genre or band – whatever sounds good, works! Now, it is very difficult for me to explain what my tastes are.. and these tastes are often ridiculed. At some point, it is difficult to remember who’s a ‘gay’ band and whose not. And I’ve seen many a friend struggle with this and try and conform..

My learning – it’s not worth it! You like Backstreet boys? Enjoy it! Its fine.. just make sure your opinions(especially if they are strong, don’t change every few days!)

Coffee Shops and Bill Gates..

I was catching up with a friend who was describing the joys of university life and a big part of life in the evening was spending time at coffee shops. We were discussing generation gap at that point and she mentioned that she found it very difficult to describe her life as it was to her mom as he mom would never be able to understand why/how people spend a lot of time in coffee shops doing nothing..

I was reminded of ‘ Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.’ – an excerpt from a book called ‘Dumbing down our kids’ about everything kids do not learn at school. It has been confused as an excerpt from a high school speech by Bill Gates. Nevertheless, the learning is amusing..and it stands.. ;)

Variation of ‘cool’..

Haven’t we all wanted to be ‘cool’ at some point of time? Herein, I take a look at what I used to think was cool..
10 years back – I used to think cool was dressing and talking like a rap star. Lots of chains, tattoos and a cool afro american accent and there you go..
5 years back – I realized that it was important that we were passionate and really good at something. So, when I took up soccer(for example), guys like Cristiano Ronaldo, Jay jay Okocha(remember him?) etc were cool. Cool skills that fooled all opponents was the criterion..
Now – The coolest guys is the guy who puts the ball in the back of the net, time after time, after time..

Basically, cool, to me is no longer cool tricks and showbiz, just the guy who does what he s supposed to do and does it again and again..and again…

If we want people to be their best..

we have to let them be.. free..

Few will misuse it.. a few will bloom.. but what really matters is that each would know that they chose their path and would learn responsibility quicker than most..

Remember the United States(pre George Bush..) and the benefits of such a system would be obvious..

When near and dear ones give us strong negative feedback..

generally, there is something up. There’s something else within.
Probably, my biggest learning from a book titled ‘Difficult Conversations’ was that there are times when people give you feedback and instead of starting with positive feedback and then moving on to the negatives, start with the negatives and bombard you with them and finally say a few nice things. Both cases may be genuine but it does sting in the 2nd case. Now, the learning basically says that we might be very tempted to give the person feedback on how to give feedback; however, we shouldn’t do it as it would be the wrong thing to do. The reason being that feedback is all about feeling and behind the negative feedback(in most cases), there is genuine care and concern and by giving them feedback is like us trying to even it out..

Anyway, I had the opportunity to implement this(finally!) and I was long waiting for this because I had committed the earlier mistake once too often before I learnt this from the book. And it turned out fine, there was a reason why the feedback was so structured and I was happy that I avoided an unnecessary confrontation..

Patience pays! :D