Category: Everything else

The World is My Family

Of late, one of the ideas I have been most inspired by is the concept of ‘The World is My Family.’
I first heard this a few months ago during a conversation with my uncle, who is quite the prolific entrepreneur. While I should save his ‘story’ for another blog post, he left home when he was 19 and had a very eventful journey, full of ups and downs that included times when he didn’t have money for food or a place to stay and eventually ended up in a proverbial ‘rags to riches’ tale as he found success and fortune running Rasa, a popular chain of restaurants in the UK.
‘The World is My Family‘ is his expression – he uses it to describe how he found care, affection and love from the world outside home. It was his way of expressing how he learnt to expand his heart beyond the love for his family to love for all who he met, and cared for, during his journey.
And when I think of it for myself, I left home (albeit in very different circumstances) for university 5 years ago now and I have constantly been amazed at how I’ve found family wherever I’ve gone. It’s almost felt like it’s meant to be – I’ve found close friends when I needed them, older siblings when I needed them, younger siblings to pamper and develop, parent-like mentors all through who have more than looked after me – they’ve cared for me enough to give me the hard knocks when necessary and yet, always made sure they’ve been around to catch me when I’ve fallen.
And this family is only growing. 2 years ago, I began writing emails 3 times a week to 3 very close people I considered ‘family’. Now that list has expanded to over 10 to write to every weekend, and another 10 to write to every month, more every 3 months and is only expanding. The more I seem to open myself to the influence of others, the more I seem to be finding family. It truly amazes me.
In my case, I realize it started thanks to my very admirable mother, who has always encouraged me to be open, accepting and welcoming. As a result, when I started out, I found I was probably less wary than most, but yet not-so-welcoming. But somewhere down the line, I found myself beginning to realize that we have space in our hearts and minds for more people than we can ever imagine.
We just have the open, accepting and welcoming.
(Thanks Mom! The more I ‘grow up’, the more I find myself impressed by the depth of the things you have taught me.)

Who do you spend your time with?

Are these people who are lifting you up or pulling you down?
Are these people who ask you uncomfortable questions and help you re-think your points of views and perspectives or are these people who just smile and ignore?
Are they folks who hang around only to have fun or stay back to clean after the party’s over?
Are these folks who only care enough to put paper over cracks that need mending or are they the kind that care enough to help mend these cracks with you?
Are these folks who encourage you to do more and grow mentally, physically, emotionally and physically or ‘having fun’ all they care about?
Do you spend more time hanging around with the ‘stars’ of their own fields and organizations, with those that inject energy and enthusiasm, with those that do and think ‘action’?
There are 2 big myths that are prevalent when we talk about company –
1. Growth and learning can’t be fun.
2. True friends don’t make the other person uncomfortable.
Remember when we were kids?
When every new thing we learnt gave us incredible joy, when every question we asked led to another and then, to another?
When our relationships with our friends in the playground were just incredibly simple?
We may find some answers there.
The simple fact is that who we are is determined by who we spend time with. We can choose to spend time with people we can learn from, or not. We are constantly making choices – when we choose a movie over a book, we choose Will Smith over a Richard Feynman or a Napoleon. Just because it isn’t obvious doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.
Like all things, it’s a choice. And like all things, it’s all about finding a balance. And like all things, it matters that we make the effort.

8 ‘Lead Without A Title’ Thoughts

1. Every moment in front of another human being is an OPPORTUNITY to express your highest values and best self.

2. No matter where you go, people treat you the way you treat them.

3. No work is unimportant work. Even the most seemingly insignificant job is a chance to show us your creativity and make a contribution.

4. “Perfect Moments” can happen in the least likely of places.

5. Mastery Matters.

6. If you’re not lifting others up, you’re bringing others down.

7. This time is the BEST time for each of us to show our leadership+virtuosity+humanity.

8. We each have the responsibility to Lead Without a Title and do our part to build a better world through world-class work and stepping into our best selves.

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Thanks to Robin Sharma’s newsletter. Very nice thoughts! Here’s to leading without a title..

Washing away my International Driving Permit

Life is such an incredibly adept leveler. It always amazes me.
I just finished up with a truly amazing 1 week experience at RealAcad at Stanford last week – I learnt lots, had tons of fun, made new friends and strengthened bonds with the old.
And since I got back to Singapore yesterday, things have been in, for want of a better word, a bit of a mess. I guess it comes with having a huge backlog of things to catch up with, work emails flying in now that I am back from vacation and the like. However, there were a couple of incidents that made me admire life’s leveling abilities even more..
– I came home yesterday and realized that I couldn’t find my house keys. So, I was locked out of home for quite a while – dishevelled, tired as hell etc
– A couple of small downers that I can’t talk about here also propped up dutifully at the very same moment
– The moment I felt it most was this morning when I took my laundry out of the Washing Machine. I had been carrying around my International Driving Permit in my formal pant and had forgotten to take it off. I saw it in beautiful wet bits..
And that was just 2 hours before realizing that I might be on a project in the EU for a little while and sighing gratefully that I did renew my permit in time.
As you can tell, I learnt quite a few things –
1. Take photocopies of all important documents! Multiple photocopies!
2. Check your pants before throwing them in the laundry as they often have important stuff in them.
3. When things go wrong – they go wrong altogether.
4. It doesn’t require 1 big incident to make things feel ‘bad’. A combination of small things have just as much of a devastating effect.
5. Accepting things after a bad phase is part of the game. These things DO happen no matter what and it wouldn’t feel like life if there were no challenges.
6. Moping/’Having your reaction’ is okay – but only for a little while.
Lots to learn and time to move on.

Catching Up with.. Everything

It’s been a very intense week away at RealAcad. Intense, in a very good way – I’ve come out on the other side feeling richer in terms of learning, friends, happiness and ..life.
There’s tons of catching up to do though – post camp follow up, catching up with the 300 odd emails that came in during the period, blogs to read, friends to call (friendship day was practically spent in the air), family to catch up with, football highlights to watch and the like. And all that aside from the fact that there’s work to get done! :)
Oh, and lest I forget, this blog just got it’s 1st 100 ‘likes’ on Facebook. There are few things that make me feel as good..
I am excited though. The next few weeks promise to be VERY exciting though as a RealAcad week generally fills me with ideas, positivity and a zest for life. I feel like I have re-committed to my goal of finishing my book by the end of this year, re-committed to doing great at work, re-committed to making this blog meaningful and most importantly, re-committed to waking up every morning and giving it my all – one day at a time.
And the week only further deepened my desire to get to the Bay Area at some point in my life.
There’s going to be lots of activity coming up on this space as I begin to reflect and digest some of my biggest learnings from RealAcad.
Until then, I wish you a great start to the week! :)