Category: Everything else

This morning, I asked for your help regarding ‘switching off’ following a challenging workday. Within the last 12 hours or so, I had a few thoughts from members of this community.

A couple of the regulars had suggestions like heading for some exercise or indulging in cooking, cleaning or a walk.

(On a connected note, Blogger doesn’t seem to be able to integrate Disqus into it’s mobile version. So, the mobile version comments aren’t here. Do you guys feel the mobile version helps? Else, I’d rather take it off and have all commenting activity here. Please let me know.)

Jack, one of the newer members of the community, rightly suggested that it ought to be the way we do things. When it comes to family, being fully present is the unselfish and right way to go forward.

And then, we had a fantastic comment by one of the newest members of our community, Bruno that inspired me to write a separate post. Here’s what he had to say.

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Rohan,

Me and my wife created a painting with our core family values: Amor, Familia e Coragem. These are the Portuguese words for: Love, Family and Courage.

We have this painting in the wall next to the entry door of our house. This way the painting is the last thing we see when we go to work and it’s the first thing we see when we arrive home.

It’s a great way to remember us why we do what we do! Especially in those very challenging days.

Give it a try!

Best regards,
Bruno Coelho

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I love it. The idea of having a reminder of family values on the door is very inspiring.

I find myself incredibly excited at the community we are beginning to see here. It’s intelligent and inspiring, all at once. We’ve begun to see comments practically on every post and most comments are thought through and meaningful. And we are slowly beginning to see comments (like this one) that end up being better than the post itself.

I know I’ve said this many times. But I’ll say it again. I can’t wait for the day when I look back at a string of posts and consistently see comments better than the post. Based on recent weeks, I’m very hopeful. The key would be creating an environment where you feel like sharing your learnings and thoughts. And most of all, where you feel welcome. I’m working on it (and myself!).

For now, I couldn’t be happier. Thanks Bruno, for showing the way and making my day!

Remember the story of the plumber who lay his troubles at his trouble tree?

David’s plumber had just had a rough day. He had a flat tyre on his way to work, his drill quit and his truck refused to start. David drove the distraught man home.

Just before they entered home, the plumber paused briefly at a tree, touching its tips. He then opened the door and underwent an amazing transformation. He hugged his kids, kissed his wife and was all smiles! Afterwards, when David was walking out, he asked his plumber about his behaviour and he said – ‘Everyday, I leave all my work troubles at the tree before walking in. The funny thing is when I come in the morning to pick them up, there aren’t as many as I left..’

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It’s an amazing tale. But here’s the problem. It’s way beyond my capability level, at least for now.

I categorize work days into 3 kinds – The easy/smooth sailing, the challenging and the very challenging. Smooth sailing is, as the name suggests, smooth. During the challenging days, I have some difficulty not having the mood spill over after work. The after-work long shower generally does the trick. But, on the very challenging days, I find it impossible to contain my emotions/mood to work. It generally flows into my life.

This is not ideal. And I’d like it to not be the case. But, at this point, I don’t seem capable of switching off seamlessly.

Do you manage to do so? If so, are there any special routines that enable you to?

I’d appreciate your help. And I’d also appreciate your take on whether this is just overly idealistic. Look forward to the discussion!

I am sure I will look back many years later at my life as a blogger and see some turning points that transformed me.

One of them was starting this blog. The other would probably be when I first began commenting on other blogs. And the third would likely be the moment when I became an active part of the community of every blog I read. That part has been truly incredible. I am learning so much.

Yesterday, I added a new blog to that list – an overdue addition really. I had just somehow never realized that Jerry Colonna had a blog. Jerry was an ex VC who is now a CEO coach. He was a huge influence on Fred Wilson and that’s reason enough for me.

I’d like to share a piece from his blog that I read yesterday. It’s a bookmark Jerry’s son’s teacher had given him. It’s a mantra that really does cover everything.

Write to be understood. Speak to be heard. Read to grow. 

I figure I would take away something from this mantra if I tried to explain what it means to me. Some things are best left unsaid. Thanks Jerry, for sharing this.

Wishing everyone a great day – I hope we will all be the best we can be.

This week’s book learning is from a combination of books on Richard Feynman and Walter Isaacson’s Steve Jobs.

This week’s learning is of a slightly different nature. It’s more of an observation than a learning and I hope to hear your thoughts on the same.

Every once in a while, we have men who change the world. Albert Einstein, Richard Feynman and Steve Jobs are examples of such men I’ve read about in the past year.

A common observation is their obsession with simplifying life and focusing their bandwidth on what they considered most important. And an easy place to observe this was clothing. Steve Jobs, of course, made his black turtleneck and blue jeans combination famous while at Apple. This was his work ‘uniform’. And he had about 40 turtlenecks of different sizes lying around his house. He made uniform (like many other things) fashionable!

Einstein is rumoured to have worn the exact same combination of clothes every day till his second wife came to his life and took charge of his wardrobe. And Feynman also shows numerous similarities in terms of simplification of life.

I find that these great men got 2 key concepts. The first is the concept that creativity stems from order and routine. And the second is that simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. And I find that such simplification matters greatly if we plan/hope to be self directed.

Look forward to your thoughts on the topic in the comments.

Here’s to some simplification this week!

I’m typing this on my flight back to Singapore. I’m guessing I will publish this in a few hours once I touchdown. Unusually, I’m unable to sleep much on this flight. I generally sleep through most flights. The beautiful thing about not being able to sleep is that I am left to my own thoughts.

When I travel from one place to another, I am always struck by my own wonderment at the experience. It’s not travel or flying that enthrals me. It’s the thought of being able to get from one part of the planet to another in a few hours. It’s the thought that we can travel across space in total comfort and be part of a different world, a different life. As I type this, 7 billion people are all living their lives. Living, breathing, playing, dying, making love, crying, laughing – all these emotions and many more are being experienced by human beings across the world. Every one of these is living in their own sweet worlds wrapped and cocooned by daily happenings and their own life story.

My mind wanders to a few women I met in a village in Vietnam this summer. They spent every day of their lives making coconut toffees in the sweltering heat. They would soon be waking up to another day of hard work and labour. So different. Yet so similar. At the end of the day, they must crave happiness and fulfilment too. They were just born to very different circumstances. How would they feel if they were exposed to this world of mine – being able to afford a space in a flying vehicle across space, seated in a comfortable chair with all kinds of entertainment a click away?

I am filled with wonderment this moment. And as I find myself imagining myself in their shoes, I realize that we may all be so different. But yet, we are so connected. The thread of humanity and life runs through all of us. I’ve just been fortunate to be given access to so much. We are one and the same after all. A few of us have been lucky to have access to far more than most others can imagine.

But yet, I’d wager a bet that they’re likely happier in their lives than most of us are. They probably complain less, play more, love more and laugh more. And I feel I understand why.

They have not lost the ability to wonder. It’s the same reason why kids are far happier when they are young. As kids, we are filled with wonderment at the sights and sounds of the world. As we grow up leading a life of privilege, our ability to imagine goes up in smoke. It’s almost ironic. We may be exposed to more, but we grow aware of less.

For a moment, I find myself filled with sadness. And then, I remind myself that I’ve been given access to great opportunity for a reason. With all this power comes a tremendous amount of responsibility.

And maybe the first step of exercising this responsibility is making sure I don’t complain. I just don’t have the right.

And so, seated on my incredibly comfortable flying chair (in space), I’d just like to request you to pause for a moment. Take a deep breath. And send a thank you up to space. It doesn’t matter whether you believe in god, power or space.

I hope you just do so for your own happiness.

It’s not happy people that are thankful. It’s thankful people that are happy.

To love, laughter and life. Have a great day. Give someone a hug!

I’ve been threatening to write about family for a while now. And I thought I’d finally get down to explaining the term today. Remember, you heard it here first.

A lot of what I write about is inspired by the pursuit of happyness. And one of the key factors that contributes to our happiness (in my humble opinion) is a support system that, well, supports us through our journey. I call this support system framily since they comprise of friends who are like family and family who are like friends.

I’ve found my framily to be a massive contributor to my happiness and a massive help when times have been rough. It’s almost like having a band of fellow travellers with you on a journey. Great company makes for great journeys. And I find myself making an conscious effort to spend as much of my time with these folk. Over the course of the past couple of years, I’ve increasingly realized that the time we have with the ones we love is very limited. Heck, life is short and time is way too precious to be spent with people we don’t enjoy spending time with.

Anyway, two of the younger members of this group met an older and wiser member of framily yesterday. They were amazed at how much similarity I shared with this friend. I couldn’t help smiling when they spoke of their surprise. I joked about them meeting the 4 other older and wiser members of this group that I’m most influenced by and then completely figuring me out.

I am aware that there is a tremendous amount of talk of people being self made. I don’t buy the concept. We are typically a unique mix of the people we choose to spend time with, and get influenced by. All their traits, abilities and views typically get filtered by our value system and the output is, as a result, something only we would be capable of i.e. it comes out in our own style. This is one of the big reasons I talk about spending time with people we learn from because we are almost entirely defined by the company and counsel we keep.

The other thing I pointed out to them was that there experience would be like meeting Qui-Gon and Yoda and realizing the lineage of thought that flows through Obi-Wan. This is a Star Wars analogy, of course. But, you often get tremendous insight into people when you meet their parents and you see the lineage of thought flow through. It’s similar when you meet close mentors, close friends and other influences.

So, today, I thought I’d thank all those who’ve spent time educating and inspiring me. That includes the many of you who I’ve met online on this blogging journey. I owe you a lot more than I realize. A large part of what’s written here is thanks to all your influences.

And, most importantly, most of who I am is also thanks to all of you. Some, more than others. But, isn’t that the way of things?

We choose and attract our influences, and hence, choose and attract those who shape us. So, here’s some food for thought..

What choices are we making on an everyday basis?

Who do we attract into our lives?

And who are responsible for the lineage of thought in our lives?

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Have a great weekend, everyone!

It’s something many of us hate doing. And try to shy away from.

It’s easy to run with the illusion that we’re pleasing everybody.

When we’re not.

We often have to take a stand.

A stand – not in the dramatic/Hollywood sense.

But, a stand with regards to our values, how we choose to live our lives and who we choose to surround ourselves with.

And typically, when we take a stand, we are likely to piss some people off.

Of course, voicing open disagreement is not easy. It’s almost like confrontation.

But, there again, it’s not.

The problem we face here is that when it comes to people, we are likely to have a few around us who have a massive impact on our lives.

The choice few who will go to great (great, not any) lengths to help us become successful in our personal and professional lives and who will actually care for our happiness.

It generally calls for massive investments in sweat and emotion from these few people.

And that’s often when we need to pick sides.

Because, while we may be running around with the illusion that we have everyone aligned to support us.

The ones who actually do care.. are likely to feel alienated.

A little bit from everyone is almost always the wrong answer. (think: large committees)

Picking sides is risky.

Some risks, though, tend to be worth taking.

If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.

Those close to us make us feel good.

A bunch of those make us feel loved.

Yet some others make us feel accepted.

And then there are those who make us feel listened to.

And then, of course, there are the funny guys who make us laugh.

Only a choice few make us think, and act.

They push us to examine ourselves and our values.

It’s not always pleasant. It’s not always nice.

For they push and prod in uncomfortable places.

They contrive to get our mental adrenaline flowing.

They make us pause, take stock and reflect.

They don’t take us on face value.

They don’t care about the small talk.

They push us to understand ourselves and our values.

They push us to act, and fail.

They push us to accept ourselves for who we are.

Here’s to those who make us think.

Here’s to those who push us to act.

For, very often, the issue with the world is not the bad stuff that happens.

It’s everyone who just looks on and lets the bad stuff go on.

Here’s to those who make us think.

Here’s to those who push us to act.

Every once in a while, we come across folks who choose to live their life as an inspiration. Now, inspiration is relative. What inspires you may not necessarily inspire me. If you are an artist, Da Vinci might be inspiring while, if you are a footballer, Lionel Messi may be the one for you.

Da Vinci and Messi, though, are stars. They are great examples, but it stops there. In real life though, you are likely to be inspired by people circumstance brings you together with. Life has a funny way of connecting people. You tend to attract, by means of what you do, the kind of people you like to your life.

What we tend to find is that we are likely to find many friends amongst these folks life brings us in contact with. Many good friends. We are likely to find that the more we open our heart to such friends, the more space we have for more.

Amongst these friends, however, we will most probably find a choice few that inspire us. It’s funny I use the word choice because these few choose to live life as inspiration.

Find them. Stick with them. Shower them with gifts, love and affection. Seek their counsel when you are in need of help. Whatever you do, don’t let them go. They’re precious. Every moment you spend with them will likely be a learning experience. The learning may come in very different forms thanks to their inherent uniqueness but there is no doubt that you will learn more than you can even digest.

And, once you’ve completed your Jedi training, pass on what you’ve learnt from them.

i.e. Find and get inspired by people around us and learn from them. Be inspirational ourselves and pass it on to others.

i.e. Find Heroes. Be a Hero.

Because we all are the Hero’s of our own life. We just need to begin acting the part.