This week’s 200 words project idea (coming to you this weekend) was one about how radiologists’ scans became more accurate when they saw patient photographs on their report.
An old co-worker and friend, who received it via email, responded saying the message was apt as she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer last week. She was working on keeping her spirits up and we exchanged a couple of emails. She is as bubbly and positive a person as anyone I’ve met – I am hopeful she makes a quick recovery.
For all those of us who share our thoughts/learnings/fears regularly via these blogs, it’s easy to forget that, every once in a while, we do succeed in making a genuine connection with someone reading the post. Once in a while, we do manage to actually help someone in their path. We may or may not be told when that happens but it does happen.
So, this note is a thank you to the many bloggers whose blogs I read. Your posts do connect with me from time to time and, at the very least, make me think and question every single day.
Thank you for taking the time to make the connection.
A friend shared the graph describing a thanksgiving turkey’s well-being the few months before thanksgiving. Your current state feels great – you are being fed well and you live a good life. This gets reinforced with time and you have every reason to feel better and better about yourself and life. Until..
We have many many great examples of turkeys in real life – the company that was oblivious to the fact that it needed to change it’s business model or be disrupted, the executive who thought of himself as indispensible, the insensitive wretch who thought their financially dependent partner could never leave him/her, and so on. Why?
1. They get fat with the joys of success. 2. They get complacent and stop looking over their backs. 3. They begin ignoring the signs of the road ahead.
We have suckers on most tables who are simply oblivious to what’s going on – not because they are incapable but because they choose to ignore the signs and ask – why am I so lucky?
A healthy dose of cynicism is very helpful in avoiding the turkey’s fate. My weakness is that I’m not cynical enough. Life experiences and a focus on “a learning a day” have taught me to focus on the positive – so much so that it’s become a part of who I am. A touch of positive delusion is a useful skill – it enables you to take more risks, fail more, and still ensure you stay happy. That said, there’s a balance to be had between a positive attitude and some healthy cynicism. This bit of cynicism does come with experience and it’s something I’m learning to pay more attention to.
So, if you’re feeling great, that’s great. But, guard against being carried away for too long. Extreme emotions dull our sensitivity to obvious signs. Remember the turkey. Stay lean and mean. Don’t drink your own kool aid and get cocky. Stay alert. You’re only as good as your next game.
The Real Leaders Project 2014 edition is here. We have an exciting new year planned for you. We kick-start the year with an interview with Elim Chew, founder of Singapore Street Wear Brand 77th Street.
Aside from being one of Singapore’s respected entrepreneurs, Ms Chew was recently honored as a Forbes Asia Hero of Philanthropy. She sits on over 20 boards and committees of public service, youth and community organizations and has been inspiring students, educators, and budding entrepreneurs for many years now. Thanks, Ms Chew, for finding time for us!
As always, my favorite snippets –
“In the early days, it was a lot of human interaction that led to word-of mouth. In those days, we were the only street fashion wear. It was about being who you are and what you love – if you want to be quirky, then you be quirky – that attracts attention. We became friends with every customer, we know their names and their stories.”
“Kids as young as 9, 10 and 13 are building apps and starting companies. Today, it is about how early you start. There is a lot of knowledge out there that you can learn from. I feel everyone should start as young as they can. If you want to be a chef, start cooking at home for your family and scout the internet for more. While reading is one thing, self-improvement and implementation is another.”
(On motivating young employees) – “I believe that this is a generation that is driven by purpose. You need to show them the purpose. Why are they in retail? Why are they social entrepreneurs. Why are they professionals. In this environment you see the people doing their part of retail. We show them the importance of their initiatives, the vision of helping the poor, the vision of taking an idea to implementation and becoming successful. And usually, its not about the money (Money is great) but the process is so much more motivating.”
“The reason for my success is the number of hours I put in ever since I got into the workforce – I worked everyday. And over the years I have gathered the experience and practice in everything that I do today. However there is a little bit of talent that helps with the starting phase. And that little extra effort you put in affects the olympic record you can break, no matter what your level of talent is.”
The full transcript, as always, is on RealLeaders.tv. Thank you, once again, to Ms.Elim for taking the time!
Most employers would have you wait for a long time before you have your first management experience.
Good news – you don’t have to wait. Just pick a side project this weekend, build a team and manage.
Sure, it’ll be different from managing a team at work but the lessons would be more interesting and probably deeper because you won’t have institutional authority. You might just have to *gasp* lead.
PS: If you don’t manage to find a team, it’s a great opportunity to test your leadership skills on yourself. That’s where it always begins..
You’re going to have problems and reasons to be unhappy right from the get go. The challenge is being happy despite all of this. Happiness functions like courage. It isn’t a lack of reasons to be unhappy but the ability to be happy despite everything else that could derail it.
I’d wager that being consistently happy is harder than being courageous. It is a true act of giving. When you are unhappy, you take from the world. Someone or the other has to deal with your moaning and whining and expend their energy to help you feel better. Your happiness and ensuing positive energy, on the other hand, almost always get channelled positively.
Leave the chronic unhappiness to the takers. Be happy. It’s hard.. but it is a force that helps us become sensitive to issues beyond ourselves and thus inspires us to consistently make small progress on big goals. That’s how good things get done.
I’ve spent a lot of time with to-do lists. I think I understand them and I’m sure I know how to work them. I was aided by some psychology lessons in various books with a special mention to “Ready for Anything” by David Allen (thanks David). To-do lists are useful tools if used appropriately and I use them to organize myself every day.
I think, however, that productivity manuals would work much better if they also instituted a “to think” list. A to-think list is a list of 1-3 things that you are intentionally thinking about. All our minds wander a fair bit during the day – that’s part of being human. However, our minds are easily influenced. That is why our minds wander to thoughts about our worries and insecurities when we are feeling worried or insecure. And, by default, our minds tend to be influenced by negative things; we spend more time about that one negative comments versus the 20 positive ones.
So, I’d suggest writing out 1-3 things you’d like to think about and looking at it often. That way, your mind will wander on these questions from time to time.
I think of a to-think list as an important complement to a to-do list. Thinking is how we get to structuring and breaking bigger tasks down in bite-sized chunks that need to be done by a to-do list. So, I’d argue that a “to think” list is the prioritization tool while a “to do” list is the execution tool. It helps me get my head around bigger and tougher questions as I learn to do less, but better. No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thought..
There’s a lovely story of a father and son sitting in the garden. The father points to the sparrow and asks “what is that?” “A sparrow, dad.” – the son replies before getting back to what he’s reading.
The father repeats the question. The son attributes it to old age and repeats.
This happens five times and by the fifth time, the son is annoyed and screams at his father.
Once they’re home, the son helps his father back to his room. He notices a few diaries in the book shelf, opens them up, and begin reading. As he flips through the pages, he finds a page called “Sparrow.” It said – “Today, my son asked me what a sparrow is twenty five times. I made sure I never got angry or impatient – instead, I gave him a loving hug every time he asked me the question.”
The son had tears in his eyes as he gave his father a hug and apologized for his behaviour.
I was reminded this story as I sensed myself getting impatient last night on a call with my mom helping her with preparation for a presentation. I was hungry and rather irritable and as I could feel the impatience rise, I remembered the many times my mom had sat up late in the night helping me with preparation for my presentations in school. I don’t think I demonstrated much impatience last night but have been guilty of doing so in the past.
Sometimes, we take the view that it is okay to take our frustrations on our loved ones. If we didn’t do so with them, who would we do it with after all?
That’s bullshit, unfortunately. Venting doesn’t help us learn self control. Exerting self control helps us learn self control. And our loved ones deserve our best behaviour, not our worst.
This moment made me realize how grateful I am to be able to give a bit back to my mom. I’m sure we all have those opportunities to do so with our parents. Let’s use them well.
I used to care a lot lesser about bandwidth a couple of years back. I had many little projects aside from a more than full time job – all of which were teaching me something – and I used to make sure I had activity filled days. I considered filling my days very important – not a moment wasted (literally).
I’ve taken the opposite approach since last year after a combination of thinking, reading, and prodding from a wiser friend. For instance, a big change has been not to touch any side projects except on the weekend (typically during the Sunday “inspiration projects” work day). This has meant complete free time to do what I want on weekday evenings (not that there is much time here) and a real day off on Saturdays when I can manage it.
The effect has been liberating – I have a lot more bandwidth now. As a result, I am able to think a lot more than I used to and thus able to balance my bias for action with some more thought. It also means I’m not in a hurry to get items off my “to do” list and am more relaxed in general. It has taught me to be accepting of the progress made on weekends on these projects – less but better is the mantra. Finally, it has necessitated a cut in the number of projects I have committed to. Focus is good.
In one of my favorite movies, Kung Fu Panda 2, Master Shifu attempts to teach Po (the panda) the concept of inner peace. What follows is a an entertaining and meaningful movie about Po understanding his past and learning to accept it, leading to inner peace.
I’ve thought about the inner peace idea from time to time as the feeling of peace is critical to our well being and productivity, which in turn play a big role in our happiness. We don’t have to be in a quiet spot to experience inner peace. This state is one we can aim for in a crowded train station, if necessary. It just requires us to understand our circumstances and then accept it.
With understanding comes acceptance and with acceptance comes meaningful thought and action.
Today will be a test of my ability to be at peace. I’m looking forward to it. Thank you Master Shifu.
