For every post that shows up here, there’s at least 3 that are thrown away. Many of the ones that don’t make it are discarded in the mind. Some make it all the way to my “safety stock.” This is a page on my OneNote where I document post ideas. Most of those will never make it here. I still go through that list on days I don’t feel inspired to write about anything in particular. But, I don’t throw the ideas on my OneNote page away.
I’ve realized that the most important role of safety is precisely that – safety. Once you have safety locked in, it is possible to explore different avenues and dream. Without it, you’re just fighting for survival.
The best illustration of this idea is money. The first step in Dave Ramsey’s financial management program is to build an emergency fund and this is followed by building up savings to last you 6 months without pay.
It works great with time as well. If you’re always over capacity, you’ll never have time to be creative.
We all need safety stock. It enables us to do more than we realize.
Hanging out with a loved one doing nothing of note
Working really hard on something you care about
A Friday
Day dreaming about something cool coming up
A delicious meal
A functioning heart :-)
There’s more things going right at any moment in our lives than we know or realize.
Every once a while, when we find ourselves weighed down by this or that, it is worth reminding ourselves about a few of the small things that are going great.
If we’re unable to enjoy the small things, it is unlikely we’ll enjoy the big things.
And, besides, in the final analysis, the small things are the big things…
There are a few learnings that get repeated here. One of my all-time favorites/most repeated is the one where I remind myself to end low energy days early. This works very well – so much so that I do this nowadays on auto pilot.
I was wondering about the “why” behind this learning (beyond knowing it works great). And, I think the reason is that the amount of energy we feel is proportional to the amount of willpower we have. So, if we’re feeling very low on energy, it is likely our willpower is depleted. The way to recharge our willpower is to either do something that helps in the short term (eat or drink stuff that gives us energy) or go to the best long term solution – sleep.
The temptation, in a low energy period, is to either indulge in eating, watching TV or, in the worst case, attempting to be productive. Willpower depletion begins a negative cycle that leads to tiredness, bad decisions, irritation and more bad decisions.
Learning to manage energy is critical. And, being able to muster enough willpower to switch off all internet access, get an early dinner and sleep during low energy days is still among the most important things I’ve learnt.
Every time I ask myself to do something, I find myself making an important decision – do I treat myself as a goofball or friend?
If I choose goofball, it means –
– Create really rigid rules because there is no trust when dealing with goofballs
– Expect screw ups (that’s what goofballs do)
– Kick myself when the expected screw ups happen
If I choose friend, it means –
– Create simple guidelines and check ins to make sure all is well
– Expect to get it right in the long term with a few mis-steps along the way
– Be kind when the mis-steps happen
The funny thing is – when I choose the friend approach, there’s a good chance I’ll actually become worthy of the trust.
But, in nearly every case, once a goofball, always a goofball.
If you’re aiming for the proverbial yacht or private jet, it is worth remembering that there will likely always be a bigger yacht or private jet. And, if you are indeed the owner of the biggest, it is likely that record will be broken too, in time.
It is very easy to be caught up in our single minded pursuit of that big yacht and forget that our current boat works just fine.
Yes, there will always be the next thing. But, if you’re wasting the privilege of being where you are now, it is unlikely you’ll use the privilege of being at that next place.
So, when you find yourself stressing about that next outcome, it is worth asking – to what end?
After all, there’s always a next thing. And, there’s always a bigger yacht.
Sort of
Uhhh
Like
Kind of
Right
Basically
Honestly
Uhm
These are the filler words I’ve found myself using in order of frequency.
I noticed last week in a conversation with a wiser acquaintance that he used no filler words. None. Zilch. And, this was a normal conversation. We spoke about a bunch of topics and I asked him a couple of questions that definitely made him think. Even then, he spoke with a clarity that felt inspiring.
So, I’ve resolved to cut out filler words. They’ve largely seeped into my language out of habit and association. This journey will likely take a long while as it means undoing some very old habits.
But, it has begun with an increased awareness around how I speak. And, I’m excited about growing through this process of learning to think and communicate with clarity.
There’s always going to be tension between hopes and expectations. It is natural to hope that our current efforts will all pay off handsomely. It doesn’t do us much good to expect it to pay off.
The way to circumvent this is through non-attachment. Dream all you like. But, don’t get attached to the dream. Instead, understand what it takes to go forth in the direction of these dreams and direct all energy on the journey/process.
If the outcome is exactly what you hoped, savor it. It doesn’t happen often. If it is less than you hoped, that’s also great. It means you dreamt big.
However, let it always be more than you expected. High expectations are just a trap – very little good comes out of them.
(As always, this is easier said than done. But, if it sounds like the result of an enlightened zen-like state, it isn’t. We just have to be aware enough to catch ourselves falling into the expectation trap.)
I know it has become fashionable to complain about email – “too many emails,” “I’m not able to focus,” etc. I, however, am yet to find a more useful communication tool for folks working in the connection economy. Until then, I’ll continue to love email and be thankful that it exists.
Email management is a skill I’ve consciously sought to learn over time. I’ve learnt that I like keeping an empty inbox. The big difference it has made in the past few years is that I stopped viewing my inbox as my to do list. Clearing email was a chore and I did whatever was in my inbox. Inbox zero changes the dynamic. Now, I own my task list and priorities and email just becomes a way to connect, communicate, and coordinate.
The inbox zero approach follows a simple logic –
1. If an email can be responded quickly (~2 mins), do it now.
2. If it takes longer, leave it in.
3. If it is not for you, re-direct.
4. If it is information necessary for others, forward.
5. If it signals a longer task that requires thinking, file into a “work-in-progress” folder and make sure it gets on your task list
This flow becomes so natural that you don’t stop to think about it. I have, however, realized that there used to be a limiting factor that stopped me from achieving this flow – it was the fear of perception. When I saw email coming in, I would wonder if I should respond because of variants of a question – “What would these people think – would they think I had nothing useful to do except sit in front of my email?”
So, I’d wait – till I could assuage these doubts over perception.
Over time, I realized this was a pathetic waste of time. Most people don’t care. And, if you find people spending their time judging you instead of doing their work, I’d stay away from them. The beauty about getting into a flow with email is that you don’t waste any unnecessary time. Clearing email stops being a battle. It is just part of the flow. Sometimes, part of the flow is also acknowledging you won’t be able to do justice to every email and that you’ll make mistakes.
That’s okay. Like all things, this is all about process. Make peace with the process and enjoy it. That’s generally a sign that a thing will be done well.
One of my objectives with reviewing products is to mix regular reviews for conventional technology products with those of non-tech product and service experiences. And, today, I’d like to share the story of my experience with Dametra Cafe.
A few weeks ago, a couple of friends and I visited a small middle eastern restaurant called Dametra Cafe in a quaint little town called Carmel-by-the-sea. It had really good reviews and we waited 30 mins to get in. The appetizers and main course were really good. The service, however, was excellent – the waitress was friendly and attentive and, midway through our meal, the owner came and checked in to see if we were doing okay. Always a nice touch.
As we were nearing the end of the meal – the owner came out again, this time with a stringed instrument. He said the chef would be joining him for a Spanish song that translated to “To live and to love.” For 4 of us friends who were seeing each other after a very long time, this was almost the perfect song for that moment. Score again. Thus, they began. It had a catchy tune and, within moments, we were all clapping and singing along. (the clip below is of the first part of the song – the our voices got louder once we learnt the simple chorus)
And, after all of this, we were also treated to desserts on-the-house to round it all up.
There were 2 important product insights I took away –
1. Simple freebies go a long way. The free desserts probably didn’t cost them much. They may even have them built in to the price. It didn’t matter. It was a simple and nice touch. Nickle-and-diming customers for every little thing never results in a pleasant experience.
2. Let the product have personality. I touched on this idea in my product review of “The Skimm” – personality plays a big role in the product resonating with customers. There were two interesting notes about this musical experience. First, a friend who I shared this experience remembered having lunch at the exact place and seeing the owner burst into song. It didn’t resonate as much with him as it did with me. That’s part and parcel of bringing personality to your product. You win some and you lose some.
Second, all it took for this lunch to be special was that personal touch. As you can tell from the video, the owner and the chef weren’t great singers. But, they clearly enjoyed it and brought themselves to their little performance. So, we couldn’t help but join. That bit of personality transformed a a meal to an experience, one that was undoubtedly among the best meal experiences I’ve had in a very long time…
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A quick note on doing these product reviews – I started writing this as I wanted to understand how to build great products and services. A first step to doing that is learning to “see” and learning to be aware of greatness. And, just thinking about these product review posts has led me to find myself noticing products more and feeling a lot more aware as I use products. It is amazing what our minds notice once we simply decide to do so…
I was on a team call recently when one of the members of our team began speaking about an email I’d drafted. She felt the email didn’t work and we had spoken about it earlier and agreed. So, I had a smile on my face as she began describing her feelings about the email. As is probably normal, she was attempting to explain how she felt to the rest without hurting my feelings.
Three sentences later, I decided to interrupt her and just say – “Guys, the point here is that my email sucked. We need to fix it. It shouldn’t be me as I have no passion for the subject.”
We added a quick discussion on why the situation arose, laughed and moved on. Directness takes fewer words.
A friend recently remarked that he doesn’t muck about with hints because hints are a luxury fast growth cannot afford. I noticed this yesterday as I watched this situation. It demonstrated the effect a lack of candor can have on a team. Being direct was just easier on the both of us. And, this directness came from trust we’ve built over months of working with each other.
Over the years, I’ve learnt that directness and candor don’t come easily because they require receivers to develop thicker skins and require the givers to be willing to be unpopular when they call a spade a spade. This stuff may be painful in the short term but the trust borne out of this makes it all incredibly sweet in the long term. Trust is the environment within which great teams are built.
At the very least, you have fewer words and more action.
