Category: Everything else

The hard thing about self worth

The hard thing about self worth is the presence of the word “worth.” Its presence primes us to look for numbers and comparisons around us. It feels natural to look at the races we’ve run and won, our place in the pecking order in our careers, the size of our car or house, and so on.

But, spending our time on numbers and comparisons is just a race to the bottom. There is just more unhappiness and insecurity to be found there. Everybody loses.

The challenge with self worth is measuring ourselves by who we are being today versus who we were yesterday. Are we living better? Have we been behaving in a manner consistent with our values? Are we taking good care of ourselves?

Again, that’s hard to do. After all, any kind of measurement prompts us to look outward.

Perhaps the biggest clue is in the word that comes first. Self worth is more about the self than the worth.

People leverage and System leverage

Leverage means using something to maximum advantage outside of the financial world. It is often used to describe human capital. For example, new hires in a company ideally provide leverage to their managers. And, supporting functions provide leverage to their sales teams.

I find two kinds of leverage in organizations – people leverage and system leverage. The underlying concept is similar. Leverage provides for a stronger support system for execution. However, while people leverage focuses on people to provide the support system, system leverage relies on processes and systems.

Imagine you are the one woman customer service center specialist. Your company is growing quickly and you decide to hire someone. The guy you just hired provides you immediate leverage. He takes all the basic stuff off your plate and allows you to focus on more strategic stuff. Soon, you could expand this to a team of three. This is a classic example of people leverage.

However, let’s assume your first hire does a little more than you asked him to do and creates a really good FAQ resource for your customers. All of a sudden, you may not need to hire three people. That resource has helped provide system leverage. It allows you to operate at a higher level without adding people to the organization to solve the problem.

There are a couple of important takeaways once we understand this difference. First, most organizations intuitively understand people leverage. However, there aren’t enough that get system leverage. The best organizations and teams have fantastic processes and systems that enable their people to perform at a high level. This is often what makes large corporations tick. There are many large corporations whose human capital potential are definitely not being utilized. However, thanks to the strength of their systems, they still deliver impressive results. Of course, the truly great corporations have both.

Second, when you and I are hired to a new job, we provide automatic human leverage. We might even provide our manager the leverage created by two hires if we were very good. However, there is no better multiplier than when we build systems. Looking for inefficiencies in how we operate and solving them by putting systems, tools and processes in place is among the highest impact things we will do.

Not okay

In case you missed it, Donald Trump brushed his lewd 2005 tape as “locker room talk.” The Trump campaign seemed to imply that it is normal for men to discuss assaulting women in locker rooms. No, that’s not true and saying so is not okay. The campaign does live in its own alternative reality, however. So, perhaps that shouldn’t surprise us. Here are six lessons I took away from the weekend –

1. Twitter was on fire this weekend. There’s a dark side to Twitter and that’s a worthy subject of a different blog post. However, during a weekend when there’s so much news and commentary, Twitter is by far the most interesting place to be. I rarely use Twitter. But, this weekend, I was checking my Twitter feed every few hours.

2. There were a couple of very powerful threads on Twitter. One of them was when author Kelly Oxford asked women to share their sexual assault stories. A million women shared their stories. It was heartrending.

3. While the tape caused great damage to the Trump campaign, FiveThirtyEight shared that 10% of Trump supporters actually had a more positive view of the candidate after the tape went out. As Nate Silver put it, this is something else.

4. Muslims lit up Twitter with #MuslimsReportStuff last night. Human creativity and humor are beautiful things.

5. I could sense the false equivalence as I watched the debate yesterday. I could feel myself hoping Hillary came out as warm, inspiring and coherent. As long as Trump didn’t commit murder on screen, he’d probably do okay. Not okay.

6. Back to the women issue, it was nice to see Republican leaders denounce it. However, they all spoke about the fact that they had wives, daughters and mothers to whom this was insulting. Don’t they know any Mexican immigrants? Muslims? What about an example for their sons?
It frustrates me when people keep associating sexual assaults with their daughters. Sure, their daughters are the ones who are affected. But, it is their sons who could either be indulging such talk in said locker rooms or denouncing it.

I decided to cap myself at six. The list is long.

A month or so ago, I had a related post up here. Someone in the comments asked about the idea of voting in protest. I mentioned then that I didn’t have a point of view. I do now. If you share similar values and world view, then Trump is scary. Then again, if you don’t, Hillary is a liar. I still find it hard to believe that you could think she’s a worse human being than Trump. That, I think is a result of unconscious gender bias. Either way, will all this change anyone’s mind or cause them to support Hillary while they were supporting Trump? Probably not. Most people have made up their mind. Their friends who share “news” on Facebook keeps reinforcing that view.

But, I think Clay Shirky’s assertion that “There’s no such thing as a protest vote” is spot on. There isn’t. That’s just the way the system is set up.

Not okay. But, as history shows, realizing that is hopefully a step toward making it better.

Create dots to connect

The famous Steve Jobs commencement speech at Stanford made the line “The dots always connect backward” famous. I love the line and have found it to be true. There’s just one thing I’d add – we have a responsibility to create dots today that we will be able to connect tomorrow.

I have thought about this line many a time over the past few years. There are so many instances when I’ve looked back at a piece of work I did ages ago and have seen it pay forward in ways I would never have imagined. This has especially been the case with side projects. I learnt video editing for a talk show side project in university. Naturally, I became the de-facto creative video editor in the first couple of years at the consulting firm I worked with. I tried reaching out to authors and venture capitalists I admired and have continued to learn tremendously from those relationships. There are many examples at work – the skills I’ve picked up in the past have nearly always come of use.

So, yes, the dots always connect.

But, phrasing it that way seems to let us off the hook just a bit. It seems to absolve us of the responsibility to do something about it now. And, I think that’s because of the implicit assumption – that we have taken the responsibility to create the dots today that we will connect tomorrow.

So, enjoy the feeling of dots from the past connecting. But, every time you experience that wonderful feeling, create a new dot today that you’ll enjoy connecting tomorrow. Take initiative. Build something. Or invest in your learning and share that learning.

Create dots to connect.

One conversation decision to rule them all

There are so many decisions we need to make for conversations to go well. These decisions could range from listening to being constructive to being thoughtful about what we say. However, I’ve come to realize there is one conversation decision to rule them all.

And, that decision is whether or not to take it personally.

If we don’t explicitly make that decision, we might react defensively to everything that is being said. And, once we do that, it is very hard to recover. But, decide not to take it personally and we give ourselves the opportunity to listen, to understand, to be thoughtful and to respond constructively.

The key to making this decision is understanding that the issue is rarely about us. We might have contributed to it. But, it is unlikely it is about us unless we decide to make it so. The quicker we get out of the way, the sooner we can move to prompt resolution.

We have conversations very often. We might as well learn to do them well.

Back the car in at night

Take an extra minute as you park to back the car in at night. This way, you won’t have to spend any energy attempting to back it out in the morning. And, more importantly, you’ll reduce the chances of starting your day with a scratch on your car.

Similarly, decide on your priorities for tomorrow at the end of the day today. If possible, keep the list of things to do and the appointments ready to go.

Finally, if you are planning on exercising the morning, keep your exercise clothes ready next to your bag.

A few small things at the end of the day can make a big difference tomorrow. Done consistently, they can remove a ton of early morning friction.

A good start does not a successful day make. But, it does makes sure you’re giving yourself a good shot at it.

Bright eyed

An executive and former entrepreneur shared a trait he looked for when hiring people – bright eyed. To him, bright eyed stood for the desire to seek and welcome new experiences. It pointed to people who were eager to put learning above all else.

Benjamin Zander calls this shining eyes. He describes the goal of leadership to make sure you surround yourself with people who have shining eyes. He asks – how can we as leaders improve ourselves to inspire those around us?

Similarly, a friend once described himself as someone who enjoyed working with obsessive people who loved learning. He said he always learnt a ton when he worked with obsessive people because they cared so much. It didn’t really matter what they worked on.

The most beautiful part of these descriptions is that they don’t refer to some innate talent. After all, this just means caring tremendously about learning because you realize that it’s a very uplifting way to live this life. Learning enables us all to rise above the small things, focus on our growth and, in the process, help others grow to become the best version of themselves.

Bright eyed is a choice. And, with it, we don’t just choose a better path in our careers (we do that as well), we choose a better life.

If it matters

If it matters to you, let it matter.

The “it” may be something obscure that very few care about. And, that’s okay.

Too often, people go out of the way to over compensate for how they feel about something that matters to them. They pretend they’re above it when they’re not feeling that way. That’s just wasted energy. Alternatively, they get angry with themselves for caring so much about something that should not matter. The key words in that previous sentence are “should not.”

The world is a special place because people care about such a wide variety of things. That ability to care about things that we think should not matter is what makes us weird. And, it is that weirdness that makes us human and special.

If it matters to you, embrace it. Let it matter. Do something good when you get the small things working exactly as you like them.

Which book

Which book are you reading now?

Seth Godin had a fantastic post a few days back called “Fully Baked.” His observation is spot on. Surgeons, lawyers, and the like need to keep studying to keep their licenses. On the other hand, the rest of us can continue working without really reading or understanding what is going on in our domains. His push to us – “Show me your bookshelf, or the courses you take, or the questions you ask, and I’ll have a hint as to how much you care about levelling up.”

Excited? Great. Now, let’s tackle that elusive question – which book do you read? I’ve realized that book recommendations are hard to do right because of two reasons – timing and interest. First, the same books hit us with varying impact depending on where we are in our lives. Second and more obvious, reading a book in a topic or industry of our interest makes a big difference too.

So, when I’m asked for book recommendations, I generally share the link to my book reviews blog – www.RohanRajiv.com. I review and share notes from books I have read here every three months or so. It contains every non-fiction book I’ve read in the past 8 years. They are sorted by category and by rating. Priority 1 or “Read ASAP” are books I consider incredibly powerful. But, that need not be the case for you.

However, biased as I am, I think it is be a good place to start. Once you do this, feel free to send me (rohan at rohanrajiv.com) the five books that sound most interesting along with a sense of what you are looking to explore or learn. I would be happy to recommend a couple based on what I know. You can also choose to take a sneak peek at what I learnt from the “Book notes” link at the bottom of reviews in the past couple of years.

This is probably not exactly what you are looking for. But, it is an open offer to anyone reading this – I am happy to work with you to answer the “which book?” question. It is a great question. One of these books you decide to read is sure to change your life.

I hope it helps.

Might be short

I’ve heard myself say “life is short” many a time over these years. I realized somewhat belatedly the other day that life isn’t necessarily short. It is, after all, the longest thing we do. And, while some lives are short, many live long lives. I have come to realize that what I meant to say all along is that life might be short. And, I think adding that might is rather important.

Whenever I think about this link between life and death, I am reminded of Dag Hammarskjöld’s profound quote – “In the last analysis it is our conception of death which decides our answers to all the questions life puts to us.” My encounters with death have taught me two things – treasure life and those who you love.

Death, to me, is the ultimate reminder that both life and the living are special. Love life. Build things that matter. Make it meaningful. Make it count. While you are it, remember to treasure those on the journey with you and those who choose to love you.

Treasuring those we love is very hard when we are in the pursuit of that elusive mistress – impact. It becomes much easier if we accept one fact – that our life might be short. While it might end up being long – it is a balance of probability after all – we are just so much better living it assuming it just might be shorter than we think or hope.

This is what makes being happy so difficult. It requires us to embrace the toughest of all paradoxes – to embrace the idea that we must build as if we’ll live forever while expressing love like there might be no tomorrow. This might not work. This might. It might not be short. It just might.

The tension of might is how we get made.