Fix the lifestyle you want, then work backwards

Author and blogger Cal Newport recently sent the highlights from an old post of his on career advice. It is a goodie.


Fix the lifestyle you want. Then work backwards from there. 

The problem with career planning, I argued, is that most people focus on the wrong properties when making professional decisions. They either ask vague questions about the nature of the work — “is this my passion?”; “is this what I want to do with my life?” — or they sidestep this ambiguity by optimizing ego metrics — “what pays the most?”; “what would be most impressive to my aunt in Ohio?”

Neither of these strategies work well.

The problem with the first approach is that most knowledge sector jobs are essentially the same. Whether you work in the front office of a major league baseball team, an investment bank, or your own one-person company: you’re going to spend most days in front of a computer, sending emails, and attending meetings. No amount of self-reflection is likely to determine that one such option among many similar options is clearly your true passion.

The problem with only optimizing ego metrics, on the other hand, is that many prestigious jobs pay a lot of money in part because they’re so awful people would otherwise quit. The number of big city lawyers I know could fill a bus. The number of happy big city lawyers I know could fit comfortably in my Honda Fit.

Which brings me back to my advice.

The real goal in career planning is to build a life you enjoy. So instead of focusing on tangential factors that may or may not make your life better, why not cut straight to chase and ask: What do I want my life to be like and what sequence of career steps will best get me there?

If you crave a Musk/Jobs style, big-vision, manic drive to build something big lifestyle, then this should lead to a different set of decisions than if you instead crave a Feynman style  thinking big thoughts in scenic locations lifestyle. If you’re instead attracted to a Frugal Woods style retreat to a homestead in Vermont, then your choices should be even different still.

Notice, however, that issues like “passion” and “job match” don’t play a huge role in this scenario. The specifics of the work are less important than the impact of the work on your daily life.


I don’t agree with every piece (e.g. the similarity of knowledge sector jobs) but, I think this is very good advice because it suggests we just reverse the sequence of questions we normally ask. Instead of starting with – “what career do I want?” and then moving to “Given this career, what is the realistic life style?,” Cal suggests beginning with figuring out what kind of life you’d like to live.

It doesn’t make the task all that much easier, in my opinion, as the lifestyle question is pretty hard to answer.

But, at least we’re focused on a better question..

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Givers and cynics

A friend shared two observations yesterday about graduate school –
1. Givers who go out of their way to help others have a better experience are those who benefit the most from the learning and growth that accompanies it.
2. There is a strong correlation between those who only take from an experience and those who tend to be cynical and complaining.

I became aware of these ideas thanks to a really good book by Adam Grant called “Give and Take.” I’ve seen this everywhere since and I find this to very true for a couple of reasons.

First, if your only objective is to optimize for yourself  and absorb everything you possibly can without contributing, you unwittingly surrender accountability for your own life experience. That is why there’s a strong correlation between being a taker and a cynic. In addition, I think it is a guaranteed route to unhappiness because you spend way too much time asking yourself if you are having a good experience. That brings a lot of pressure and, besides, there’s only so much good that can come from taking your thoughts so seriously.

Second, I don’t believe giving to the community is a selfless act. I think it is a very selfish act because sustainable giving requires you to have a strong reason that benefits you. The absence of a good reason is a recipe for burn out. But, what separates it from “taking” in my mind is that the selfishness is just directed outward. This outward focus is massively helpful as it both helps us get perspective by understanding others and their journeys better while also making sure we don’t take ourselves too seriously.

I have come to believe that most good things in life are a result of counter intuitive actions. It feels intuitive to believe that the more you take, the more you will get. But, I’ve found that to be wrong. The more you give, the more you get. This may not hold if all you’re focusing on is short term gratification.

But, it definitely holds in things that matter.

givers, takers, cynicsImage Source

Leadership in 1 page

One of my recurring frustrations with books on leadership is that leaders are often made out to be superhuman. You have to be able to do this and that and then that as a leader. I think the issue with most of these books is that they study the best leaders of their age and try to combine all their best traits into one thesis on what makes a good leader.

I think that’s the wrong approach. There is no trait-based path toward leadership. We lead others the way we lead ourselves. And, the best way to lead ourselves is to be authentic – to be 100% ourselves.

So, one of my goals has been to understand what it is it leaders actually do. Over the years, I’ve been piecing this graphic together through books, blog posts, conversations with wiser folk and my own experiences applying what I’ve learnt. So, here goes.


We’ll be building to the full 1 pager step-by-step.

Leaders do 3 things – they lead, manage, and build culture. In simple words, these mean
1. Lead: “Doing the right thing” or effectiveness
2. Manage: “Doing things right” or efficiency
3. Culture: “This is how we do things here”

The size of the boxes gives a rough illustration of the amount of time you spend on each of these 3. I estimate management to be 50% of the time with the rest split between leading and building culture.

To draw on the difference between leadership and management, I’d like to draw on a Stephen Covey story that distinguishes efficiency from effectiveness. Imagine a group of woodcutters getting ready to cut trees in a forest. The managers or efficiency leaders are those who walk behind the woodcutters and say – “Try a 45 degree angle. It’ll cut the tree faster.” Managers optimize.
The leaders are those who climb up the trees and say – “Guys, wrong jungle.” Leaders focus on whether our effort is effective.

Finally, the one central principle that ties leading, managing and building culture is “deep care.” As a leader, all the things you do will be null and void if you don’t care more than anyone else about leading. I’ve added my own interpretation to this idea – “doing small things with extraordinary care.” I have come to realize that leadership isn’t so much about the big things. It is all about the small things. Over time, the small things become the big things.

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The first piece to dive into would be the lead part. For the “how,” I’ve channeled Jack Welch’s idea – caring more about your people and work. You have to obsess about what the right things are. There are no shortcuts.

But, to bring it to the tactics, I’ve gone with the what Ben Horowitz laid out in “The Hard Thing about Hard Things.” Leaders do 3 things
1. Articulate and share a vision – The Steve Jobs attribute
2. Ambition for the team (versus self) – The Bill Campbell attribute
3. Ability to execute and bring their vision to life – The Andy Grove attribute

Of these 3, the tactic you need to consistently focus on is honing your ability to articulate and share a vision. You would assume that you have risen or been given leadership because of your ability to execute. And, the ambition for the team is one that is the hardest to coach. Ben Horowitz believes that, by the time you reach your twenties and thirties, you either have it or you don’t.

So, as a leader, you obsess about doing the right thing and then communicate the vision and priorities relentlessly.

lead

Next, we move to management. Management is all about efficiency. And, the “how” revolves around setting and managing expectations.

A beautiful framework that helps explains the tactics is the triangle with results, people, and processes. Leaders typically influence or directly control all 3. While they are always held accountable for results, results are a lagging indicator. By the time they appear, it is too late to do anything. So, the way to manage is to take control of people and processes – both of which are leading indicator. The assumption here is that if your people are happy and productive and if your processes are thorough, the chances are high that results will go your way.

The place to start here is with processes. This is because people problems are often process problems. An example I think of is vacation policy. Let’s assume you work in a company where customer support is critical. If you don’t have a simple shared calendar process that enables your team to coordinate vacations, you could end up with a situation where every person wants to take time off at the same time. In the absence of a process, you play “bad cop” asking one of them to cancel their vacation. This, soon, becomes a people problem. Good system design enables the systems to be tough and the people to be nice.

Most team processes involve setting expectation around the norms of the team. A great place to start are the processes around team meetings and communications. Example processes are 100% mindfulness (no cell phones or laptops), 100% transparency in communication around key decisions, candor in meetings – “the worst is discussed at the meeting and not outside” and a decision process where we debate till we decide but lend our 100% support once the decision is made.

One of the biggest challenges about creating team processes is that you will occasionally have a team member who refuses to follow your processes. It is not uncommon for managers to make exceptions when their results are outstanding. But, it is critical we understand the trade-offs and be transparent about why we make the exception.

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Finally, the most nebulous piece – building culture. Culture, to channel Seth Godin, is when we say “this is how we do things here.” Culture is built intentionally – one small action, one day at a time. There are 2 parts to building culture – building culture and sharing culture.

You build culture in 3 ways –
1. The leader’s personal culture. The single biggest factor that influences a company is the culture of the leader or founder.
2. Who you hire/fire/promote. One principle here is that you get what you tolerate. So, if you don’t stop behaviors you don’t want, you will get more of it. The other part is that when you hire or promote, you send a strong signal about the kind of behaviors you want to encourage. Promote a jerk and you will get more jerk behavior.
3. How you make decisions. Decisions tell us how teams work. Whether it is by consensus, debate and discussion or simply issuing directives, our decisions go a long way in building culture.

An often overlooked part of building culture is sharing culture. Sharing culture involves sharing stories of people who’ve demonstrated key cultural tenets. This is why companies with great cultures (Zappos, Netflix) create handbooks. While it is useful externally, it is much more useful internally to explain to new employees that “this is how we do things here.”

One final note – there needs to be alignment between the culture you seek to create and the processes you use to govern the team with. For example, if your decision making process is to hoard information and make decisions yourself, you can’t expect to have transparency in communication.

Leadership-1-page

So, how do we use all this? My sense is that this is best used as a reflection sheet. It is, perhaps, one of those things we might look at over the weekend to ask ourselves – how did I do on all these fronts last week? And, what should I aim to do on these fronts next week?

If there’s one insight I’d like to go back to to wrap up, it would be that it all comes down to deep care. At the end of the day, people will likely not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.


Thanks to: every person listed in the bottom for contributing key insights and frameworks for everything on this sheet. In truth, the number of folks who’ve contributed to this synthesis would be much longer than just a page. Thanks to the many authors who’ve written books on management, leadership and related topics and a big thank you to every team I’ve been part of, or lead.

I hope you find it helpful. This’ll undoubtedly evolve and, hopefully, get better. Looking forward to all thoughts/feedback.

The first step with dealing with your demons

The first step with dealing with your demons is acknowledging that they will always be around.

The Oscar winning biographical movie “A Beautiful Mind” had a lovely way of portraying this. In the movie, Russel Crowe portrays Nobel Prize winning Economist John Nash and his struggles with schizophrenia. All of John’s delusions revolve around three imaginary characters – Charles, Marcee and Parcher. As the story progresses and as Nash comes to terms with his condition, he accepts that all three of them are just figments of his imagination.

However, they never go away. The final scenes depict this beautifully. Right after winning the Nobel prize, John glances at the other end of the hallway to find all three of them standing and watching. But, he’s learnt to walk away. It is a powerful moment.

demons

I was reminded of this as I was reflecting on three moments in the past month where I let my impatience get ahead of me. My immediate reaction after those moments was to be annoyed at myself for letting impatience even show up and, thus, find ways to tap into irritation. However, the flip side of impatience, a bias for action, is a core strength. So, the impatience isn’t going to go anywhere anytime soon. I just need to be more aware of it and be able to catch it before it dictates my actions.

The “A Beautiful Mind” depiction is a good one. The next time I find myself falling prey to impatience, I think I should remember John Nash and say to myself – “You can choose to ignore it.”

Acceptance of the fact that it will always be around is the first step, though.

FiveThirtyEight

FiveThirtyEight’s more popular name is simply “Nate Silver’s blog.” Nate Silver is statistician who gained fame for his incredibly accurate prediction models in the 2008 elections. The blog was a licensed feature of the New York Times for a while before being bought by ESPN in 2014. Silver describes the blog as a “data journalism site” and FiveThirtyEight comprises a team of 20 odd writers who cover topics like sports, politics, science, and lifestyle. I think of FiveThirtyEight as among the most thoughtful journalistic outlets that exist.

As an example, they had an article this weekend on “The Sumo Matchup Centuries in the Making.” They started by covering a controversial final match between Yokozuna Hakuho (below) and Yokozuna Harumafuji where Hakuho used a technique derisively called henka, where he side-stepped his opponent and had him crash out of the ring, to win his 36th grand tournament. Winning the 36th tournament cemented Hakuho’s place among the greatest sumo wrestlers of all time. It was just a pity that this happened amid controversy about his final victory. (I was interested in reading this because I had seen the finals of a tournament in May 2014 where Hakuho had won his 29th grand tournament. He was well on his way to becoming the Jack Nicklaus/Roger Federer equivalent of Sumo.)FiveThirtyEight, sumo, hakuho

The article compares Hakuho with a legendary sumo wrestler nicknamed “Raiden” from the 18th century. They used data from sumo records and ran various analyses to conclude that, criticism on his victory aside, Hakuho deserves his place among the best sumo wrestlers ever. Articles on this blog aren’t just about anecdotal opinions (granted, in this case, it would be hard to have too many anecdotes about a 18th century legend). They are about taking the data that is available and digging deeper to uncover a level of insight that wouldn’t be obvious if we just took a cursory glance.

I use this article to illustrate the consistent greatness of the work done by the FiveThirtyEight team. They have taken journalism to a whole new level in the past few years. And, I, for one, am very grateful to them for that.

8 years

When I mentioned the fact that this blog would be turning 8 years old to a friend yesterday, she suggested I share my 8 favorite posts. It is a great idea. I would love to do something like that sometime. But, not today.

Today, I’d like to share a post I stumbled onto on May 25th, 2008. This was 13 days after I committed to writing a learning a day.


Sustainability

I’ve missed 2 learning days in a row. Well, I ‘can’ blame it on long/irregular/busy days among other things but its best if I learnt from this and moved on and hopefully did continue posting a learning a day..

Sustainability – I never really understood the concept till I came across the idea in various similar forms; like consistency, dependability etc. In simple terms, I understand sustainability to be the essential difference between a pro and an amateur, a business and an idea, a billion dollar company and a million dollar company and so on..

In simple terms, the implications are immense – for instance, you would expect Fedex to deliver within a day, whether it means travelling through rain, shine or even thunderstorms. And many such basic examples. What I have further learnt is that it is not easy to think of it in simple terms but in any case, if, hypothetically, this blog had 1 reader who came back for a blog every day and found no entry even on 1 day(forget an unforgivable 2 days..), the chances that the reader would want to come back is never, and when you talk about a service that caters to a few million customers a day, there is just no choice but to be sustainable….


First, I think my writing has gotten a lot better – thank god. But, most importantly, I wanted to share this because sustainability is the single hardest challenge when we commit to a regular system/habit. I missed many days when I first started writing here. For most of the first 2 years, I hacked the system by creating mini-systems – quotes between Monday-Friday and a “Book Learning” on Sundays. So, I largely converted writing to an auto pilot system of sharing content created by others. Once I felt I had developed the discipline to show up every day, I was then free to begin writing.

This experience has been life-changing because it has taught me more than I imagine. But, I imagined there isn’t a lesson that has had a more profound impact on my life than understanding the importance of showing up every day and doing my best.

Here’s to the next 8 years.

8 years

Skills and knowledge

The big insight with deliberate practice is the idea of focusing on skills instead of knowledge.

The obvious example is learning, say, tennis. Sitting in a tennis theory class that explains how to use the racket isn’t all that useful, obviously. It makes intuitive sense for us that we must get out on the field and try things. And, as we try things, we will hopefully have a coach who corrects us when we do the wrong things. That is the difference between developing the skill of how to hit the ball versus simply possessing the knowledge of how to hit the ball.

While this connection is easy to make when we think of sports, it is harder to make this connection with knowledge work or science. In a fascinating deliberate practice experiment in the University of British Columbia, Professors converted a part of the Physics curriculum from lecture notes to in-class discussions facilitated with interactive questions and clickers. The idea here was to move from knowledge transmission to actually helping students develop the skills of reasoning like real world physicists. They executed this with graduate students who were teaching for the first time and improvement was fantastic – 2.5x on a standard test compared to the control group.

skills, knowledge, deliberate practice

This has all sorts of implications for how we think about training in the professional world. A lot of training is still about knowledge transmission versus skill development. And, even if it is skill development, it is done once a year.

As I get back to the working world post graduation in a few weeks, there are a couple of interesting questions on my mind – how do I use the principles of deliberate practice in my work? and how do I use the knowledge vs. skills idea to develop processes to get better?

Deliberate practice has transformed the way we get better in fields like sports and music. It will be much harder to use its principles in fields where progress is less easily measured. But, it can be done.

We’ll just have to stay with the problem a lot longer.

Generous email is alive

There are many who say email is dead.

Yes, certain kinds of email are definitely dead. The kinds that selfishly ask us for a click, a favor without a real explanation, money without trust and attention without a relationship – we’ve learnt to recognize them from afar and they are generally dead on arrival. Thank god for that. We don’t need more of those.

But, the generous compliment, the kind note, the thoughtful ask, the intelligent discussion, the love-filled wish – they are all alive and well. These are the sort of notes which even the busiest of inboxes would love to see. They may not always garner a response (they still do, often) but they are nearly always appreciated.

Generous email is alive. Long live generous email.

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Looking good and getting good

There’s a lot of great literature that focuses on looking good. We know plenty about how people perceive us, how people think and how we can do this and that to persuade people. It is no coincidence that “How to Win Friends and Influence People” was the book that invented the self help genre.

Looking good, however, isn’t all that helpful if you haven’t done the work to get good. It can mask competence for a while. But, not for long.

So, what do we know about getting good? I think there are three things we know about getting good.

First, we must commit to getting good. It doesn’t really matter what we choose to get good at. It just matters we choose something. We don’t need more confidence. We just need more commitment.

Second, we must apply the principles of deliberate practice toward our journey. To get better at our craft, we must train relentlessly, seek task specific feedback from a coach and push ourselves to expand our comfort zone. No coach? No worry – find people who’ve done it before and mimic their approach until you find your own style. The end result from this process is developing a mental model that enables us to “see” the world differently. It is these mental models that help us make consistently better decisions.

Finally, once we get good, we must then commit to a life of depth. Becoming good doesn’t mean we will stay good. To become experts, pastmasters even, we must consistently hone our skills and commit to a process of lifelong learning. We do that by building a deep life – one where focus, commitment, and mindfulness are the norm. It is the sort of life where we distance ourselves from the noise of distraction and keep our focus on the things that truly matter – good self-care, good people and a focus on the work that helps us make the world a bit better. A deep life is the surest sign of a good life.

By all means, continue the conversation on looking good. But, if we’re going to run the marathon, let’s make sure we’re fit enough to go the distance… and then maybe go some more.

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It’s all in our head

In conversations with people who’ve recovered from an episode of depression or an addiction of some sort, I’ve noticed a persistent theme. They vividly remember the day they realized they emerged into normalcy and this vivid memory generally involved them looking up at the sky for the first time in days and noticing that the sun is shining and that all is well.

I think the reason this moment is so powerful is because they realize that all was well all along; and, with that comes a visceral reaction, that it was all in their head and that they can, if they choose to, focus their minds on better things.

What an incredible realization. Philosopher Eckhart Tolle wisely says – “Don’t take your thoughts too seriously.”

It is one of those perspective changing realizations that I have learnt to remember from time to time. Just yesterday, I had a similar moment as I was thinking of a couple of issues I had been wrestling with over the past couple of days. All was well in the grand scheme of things, the sun was out, the breeze was beautiful, and nearly all of what I thought were issues were all in my head. The moment I found that perspective, I realized that I had the power to shift my perspective and focus my attention on other things.

And, so I did.

We have much more control over our mindset and happiness than we think. As a result, we are much more powerful than we realize.

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