Category: Everything else

As time passes, it becomes more evident that folks who learn to consistently find joy don’t wait to lose something to appreciate it.

During a time I was feeling stuck a few years back, a friend shared this video of Dory in Finding Nemo.

In it, Dory shares some sage advice with Nemo’s father about what to do when life gets you down. “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming.”

It is a thought I’ve shared with folks over the years. Sometimes, the only way is through.

And, in the long run, it helps if we manage to show up regardless of the noise around us (and let’s face it – there’s always noise)… and keep swimming.

Once in a while it is worth pausing and reminding ourselves – “It never goes as per plan.”

This isn’t “good” or “bad.”

It just is.

I first learned about Jerry Seinfeld’s love for the “Don’t break the chain” approach to building habits years ago.

The approach is simple. Once you make a commitment, take a physical calendar and scratch out the date with a big red “X.” Then, refuse to break the chain.

While it didn’t resonate when I first heard it, I began using it (on an imaginary calendar) in the past weeks. It began with squeezing in a mini workout every day and it now translates to a mini workout + closing the 3 activity rings on my watch.

Thanks to this newfound refusal to break the chain, I’ve been able to keep these activities going more consistently than before. And, I feel its power every time I break the chain (e.g. for a recent day off). It feels temporarily acceptable to slip the next day.

But, once the chain is up and running, the momentum is back again.

Don’t break the chain. An idea that is as powerful as it is simple.

Seth shared a powerful post yesterday.

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If you want to have an argument, to raise tempers or to distract, the easiest thing to do is start bringing up things that are easy to argue about.

Not the things that are important.

Because the important things require nuance, patience and understanding. They require an understanding of goals, of the way the world works and our mutual respect.

If someone keeps coming back to an irrelevant, urgent or provocative point instead, they’re signaling that they’d rather not talk about the important thing.

Which is precisely what we need to talk about.

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It hit me hard as it reminded me of a derailed meeting I was part of recently. It derailed precisely because we fell into the trap of arguing about something that didn’t matter.

I didn’t prod enough to unearth the question behind the question. I just took the bait and fell hook, line, and sinker.

“Is this the most important thing we should be discussing to make progress?” is a powerful question to ask. It keeps us moving forward.

We need more of that.

I certainly need to do a better job asking this more often.

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away yesterday.

Despite being a star in law school, she wouldn’t be hired into a top law firm or be interviewed for a supreme court clerkship because she was a woman and, worse, a mother. She even had to hide her second pregnancy to seal an extension to her contract at Rutgers University.

Over the course of her ensuing career, she did her best to make sure doors weren’t unfairly closed for women that followed her.

And she did it with aplomb.

She will be missed.

I loved Forbes’ piece on Charles “Chuck” Feeney. He became a billionaire by co-founding Duty Free Shoppers, decided to give it all away, and completed the project over four decades.

Aside from 2 million dollars he’s saved for their retirement, Chuck and Helga Feeney gave away eight billion dollars. They targeted wrapping up this project in 2020 and shuttered Atlantic Philanthropies on September 14th.

In his words – “We learned a lot. We would do some things differently, but I am very satisfied. I feel very good about completing this on my watch,”

I was reminded of the saying – “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

Make a life they did.

Much of success – the kind that sticks around anyway – is being able to look through the rear view mirror knowing we did our best with the cards we were dealt.

It follows, then, that the best thing we can do today is to be thoughtful and intentional about the choices we make today about where we’re headed. The arbitrary outcome goals, disappointments of yesterday, random ego battles, and miscellaneous worries will fade in time.

All that will remain and matter is that we did the best we could with what we have.

And, that we did better when we knew better.

When Alan Mullaly took over as CEO of Ford in 2006, the company was in serious trouble. So, one of his first moves was to institute weekly business plan reviews for the various businesses. The executives in-charge had to present their latest initiatives with a red/yellow/green status.

However, in his first few weeks, every status in every meeting was green.

This continued until he threw up his hands in frustration wondering aloud – “We are going to lose billions of dollars this year. Is there anything that’s not going well here?”

Finally, after weeks of prodding, one executive – Mark Fields, the Head of Operations – turned one slide red. This was a decision that would have lost his job under previous leadership.

When Mullaly saw the slide, he clapped, thanked him for the visibility, and asked everyone in the room if someone could help bring the initiative back on track. A valuable discussion followed (for a change).

Over time, other executives followed Marks’ lead and brought more colorful slides to these review. More valuable discussions followed. These discussions contributed to Ford’s turnaround in the subsequent years.

To change outcomes, we need to change behavior. And, to change behavior, we need to change the culture.

(H/T: Simon Sinek’s “The Infinite Game”)

1. What am I in it for?

2. Where am I headed? (directional – not outcome specific)

3. What am I learning from the process?

H.T: Anna – for sparking the conversation