Category: Everything else

I was texting with a friend who is working on an immigration related project.

He was sharing how overwhelmed he’s been by the support he’s received from folks he barely knew. He noted that it reminded him how life-changing it is to respond to people who reach out asking for help.

That, then, reminded me of a story I’d written about six years back.

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A friend at Linkedin shared a story yesterday that Deep Nishar, soon-to-be former SVP of Products and User Experience, shared at his farewell.

Deep came from humble beginnings in India. When Deep was in secondary school, he learnt that a graduate from the school had been admitted at the Indian Institute of Technology. He understood it was rare and prestigious but didn’t know much beyond that. So, he asked this student if he could spend time telling him more about this. The student obliged and spent 2 hours with Deep explaining what the institutes were and how he might prepare to make it in. Deep took his advice seriously and secured admission when he graduated.

He went on to explain that that changed his life. It put him on a trajectory that saw him go to the University of Illinois Urbana Champagne, to Harvard Business School, lead Google’s efforts in the Asia Pacific and then play a key role in Linkedin’s growth over the past few years. All it took was 2 hours from a person who probably knew he would get nothing in return.

Deep’s advice to the Linkedin community was – if someone asks for a small amount of your time that could end up making a big difference to them, just do it. Don’t over think it. It might not mean much to you but it could mean a lot to the other person. And, who knows, it might even change the trajectory of their lives.

I loved this story. While we do occasionally get the opportunity to do big things, we get lots of opportunities to do the little things. We always have the choice to do the little things meaningfully.

It is stories like this that remind us how special this life is and how lucky we are to be here. Here’s to the little things… and here’s to giving small bits of our time to those who might benefit from it…

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A heartwarming story I was happy to be reminded about.

Wishing you all a nice and restful weekend.

I listened to a fascinating description of stoicism in Nassim Taleb’s Fooled by Randomness.

“Having control over randomness can be expressed in the manner in which one acts in the small and the large. Recall that epic heroes were judged by their actions, not by the results.

No matter how sophisticated our choices, how good we are at dominating the odds, randomness will have the last word. There is nothing wrong and undignified with emotions—we are cut to have them. What is wrong is not following the heroic or, at least, the dignified path.

That is what stoicism truly means. It is the attempt by man to get even with probability. Stoicism has rather little to do with the stiff-upper-lip notion that we believe it means. The stoic is a person who combines the qualities of wisdom, upright dealing, and courage. The stoic will thus be immune from life’s gyrations as he will be superior to the wounds from some of life’s dirty tricks.”

It reminded me of the power of dedicating ourselves to the process and embracing equanimity with regards to the outcome.

It resonated.

As time passes, it becomes more evident that folks who learn to consistently find joy don’t wait to lose something to appreciate it.

During a time I was feeling stuck a few years back, a friend shared this video of Dory in Finding Nemo.

In it, Dory shares some sage advice with Nemo’s father about what to do when life gets you down. “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming.”

It is a thought I’ve shared with folks over the years. Sometimes, the only way is through.

And, in the long run, it helps if we manage to show up regardless of the noise around us (and let’s face it – there’s always noise)… and keep swimming.

Once in a while it is worth pausing and reminding ourselves – “It never goes as per plan.”

This isn’t “good” or “bad.”

It just is.

I first learned about Jerry Seinfeld’s love for the “Don’t break the chain” approach to building habits years ago.

The approach is simple. Once you make a commitment, take a physical calendar and scratch out the date with a big red “X.” Then, refuse to break the chain.

While it didn’t resonate when I first heard it, I began using it (on an imaginary calendar) in the past weeks. It began with squeezing in a mini workout every day and it now translates to a mini workout + closing the 3 activity rings on my watch.

Thanks to this newfound refusal to break the chain, I’ve been able to keep these activities going more consistently than before. And, I feel its power every time I break the chain (e.g. for a recent day off). It feels temporarily acceptable to slip the next day.

But, once the chain is up and running, the momentum is back again.

Don’t break the chain. An idea that is as powerful as it is simple.

Seth shared a powerful post yesterday.

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If you want to have an argument, to raise tempers or to distract, the easiest thing to do is start bringing up things that are easy to argue about.

Not the things that are important.

Because the important things require nuance, patience and understanding. They require an understanding of goals, of the way the world works and our mutual respect.

If someone keeps coming back to an irrelevant, urgent or provocative point instead, they’re signaling that they’d rather not talk about the important thing.

Which is precisely what we need to talk about.

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It hit me hard as it reminded me of a derailed meeting I was part of recently. It derailed precisely because we fell into the trap of arguing about something that didn’t matter.

I didn’t prod enough to unearth the question behind the question. I just took the bait and fell hook, line, and sinker.

“Is this the most important thing we should be discussing to make progress?” is a powerful question to ask. It keeps us moving forward.

We need more of that.

I certainly need to do a better job asking this more often.

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away yesterday.

Despite being a star in law school, she wouldn’t be hired into a top law firm or be interviewed for a supreme court clerkship because she was a woman and, worse, a mother. She even had to hide her second pregnancy to seal an extension to her contract at Rutgers University.

Over the course of her ensuing career, she did her best to make sure doors weren’t unfairly closed for women that followed her.

And she did it with aplomb.

She will be missed.

I loved Forbes’ piece on Charles “Chuck” Feeney. He became a billionaire by co-founding Duty Free Shoppers, decided to give it all away, and completed the project over four decades.

Aside from 2 million dollars he’s saved for their retirement, Chuck and Helga Feeney gave away eight billion dollars. They targeted wrapping up this project in 2020 and shuttered Atlantic Philanthropies on September 14th.

In his words – “We learned a lot. We would do some things differently, but I am very satisfied. I feel very good about completing this on my watch,”

I was reminded of the saying – “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

Make a life they did.

Much of success – the kind that sticks around anyway – is being able to look through the rear view mirror knowing we did our best with the cards we were dealt.

It follows, then, that the best thing we can do today is to be thoughtful and intentional about the choices we make today about where we’re headed. The arbitrary outcome goals, disappointments of yesterday, random ego battles, and miscellaneous worries will fade in time.

All that will remain and matter is that we did the best we could with what we have.

And, that we did better when we knew better.