Category: Everything else

A realization as I’ve been working through a transition – there’s a lot written about how to approach a new job. There’s comparatively very little about how to leave a job (especially considering that happens just as often :-)).

And, yet, I’d argue that paying attention to some version of “the last 90 days” is just as important. Taking the time to say our goodbyes, writing those transition documents, and communicating consistently and clearly with those on the team all go a long way.

As humans, we remember peaks and ends. So, in the long run, how we leave a role matters just as much – if not more – as how we began it.

“Living the dream” is a fascinating phrase.

It implies there is one dream – the dream – worth aspiring for.

Of course, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

It’s best to take the time to figure out “our dream” and avoid being sucked into the upholding the prevailing dogma.

A simple equation to understand how much we’re learning on any given day: (Time spent attempting to get good, ) / (Time spent attempting to look good). 

Then, increase the numerator and reduce the denominator.

Getting more done by dialing up the number of hours we work isn’t an effective long term strategy. More hours often mean trade-offs that aren’t healthy in the long run.

However, it is an important tool in our arsenal in the short run.

It just helps to time-box these sprints so they don’t get in the way of our ability to run the marathon.

It is amazing how much of a difference small positive responses can make in place of some instinctive reactions.

Replacing a reaction of annoyance or an irritable look at being interrupted with a half-smile may seem small. But, such negative micro-reactions often provoke more unpleasant reactions which, in time, spark a chain of events that are significantly more negative.

John Gottman’s research team found that couples in successful marriages shared at least 5 positive interactions for every negative one.

I would posit this idea applies well beyond marriages.

And, turning the tide on our interactions by habitually replacing small negative reactions with small positive ones has an outsized effect on the positivity of our days.

On our journey through the seas of life, the ability to survive bad weather is just as important as honing our ability to predict the weather.

One of my favorite ideas on habits from Jerry Seinfeld is “Don’t break the chain.”

His approach is simple. Once you make a commitment, take a physical calendar and scratch out the date with a big red “X.” Then, refuse to break the chain.

I’ve learnt over time that “don’t break the chain” is simple and useful action in the early stages of building a habit. It helps us recommit during moments when we’re considering quitting. And those moments are abundant in the early stages of habit formation.

But, over time, our commitment to the habit strengthens.

And, it is when breaking the chain is unthinkable that a habit is truly formed.

Outside of school, learning to say “I don’t know enough” is just as important as (and sometimes more important than) having the right answer.

The more time I spend learning about what others are dealing with, the more I appreciate the truth in the idea that “everyone is fighting their own battle.”

We all are. And there’s no running away from them.

The best we can hope for is the choice/ability/privilege to trade-off battles we don’t want to fight for those we deem worth fighting.

How a career is normally visualized: Attempting to race others on ladders going to similar destinations.

What it actually is like: Attempting to find our way through a forest – with occasional company (some appreciated, others not as much :-)) – without a map… in the dark.