I was talking to a friend recently on the cusp of a big career decision, going back and forth on it. We discussed a lesson I picked up making my own version of this decision.
It’s tempting to use such conversations to seek validation. But nobody has as much information about your situation as you do, and in your heart of hearts, you usually already know which way you’re leaning.
So use the conversation differently. Ask people to stress-test the assumptions underneath the decision, not to bless the decision itself.
If you’re leaning toward yes, use that to do a premortem, go in with eyes open about everything that could go wrong.
If you’re leaning toward no, write out exactly what you’re assuming will hold true by staying.
Either way, you come out ahead. If it goes well, the premortem helps you get through the inevitable bad days. If it goes badly, you’ve learned something that makes your next decision better.
Outside of a partner, the only opinion that really matters on a career decision is the one belonging to the person who has to live with it. That’s you.
A Learning a Day 