The constructive feedback playbook

Someone I respect and like shared some feedback with me the other day. She did 3 things at once –

(1) Described the situation as she saw it (objective)

(2) Shared how she felt (subjective but without judgment involved)

(3) And asked what she could have done to have avoided that sort of situation (did not assign blame, assumed good intent, and just focused on a constructive response)

We had a great conversation following that exchange. We both took away lessons (though I admittedly took away 90% of them) and walked away with an even stronger relationship.

It was an experience that role modeled constructiveness for me – a playbook if you will. I hope to follow her lead the next time I have such an opportunity.