A wise friend used to repeat one piece of advice for me in the early years of our relationship – be kind to yourself.
I was recently in a situation where I ended a day with a series of things having gone right. However, right before the end, I realized one thing that hadn’t gone as per plan.
So, obviously, I did what you might expect. I ignored all the things that went well and obsessed about the one thing that went wrong.
Soon, we were past an hour since I’d both realized it and taken constructive action.
That’s about when I remembered this friend’s message – “be kind to yourself.”
We all make mistakes. We also tend to over-index on obsessing about the things that went wrong over the things that went well. Both of these combined can mean a self-reinforcing and perpetual loop of kicking ourselves for mistakes.
The only way out is self compassion.
Be kind to yourself.