“If I have more love/money/friendship/fame, will I be happier?”
Whenever we see “have” preceding “be” in such questions, we can be sure unhappiness is lurking around the corner.
Flipping the order, however, changes everything.
The question we’d ask now is – “What kind of person do I have to be to have more love/money/friendship/fame?”
By being trustworthy and caring, it is likely we’ll attract love and friendship into our lives.
By being skilled at something valuable and disciplined in our practice and execution of the skill, it is likely we’ll attract the financial security we seek.
And so on.
There is a chance we’ll win the lottery and have what we desire before being the person who deserves it.
Waiting to win the lottery, however, isn’t good strategy.
Better to flip the question and be the kind of person who deserves what we want to have.