What would help?

Yesterday’s post was all about a simple question – “would it help?” – that can change our perspective in a tough situation. It is a beautiful checkpoint.

But, “would it help?” is a level 1 question. I’d still suggest starting with “would it help?” as it helps check negative reactions at the door.

Once we’re able to do that, a level 2 question is “what would help?” With this, the onus is on us to respond to the situation with something constructive. This is the sort of thing that is easy in theory, but incredibly hard to do when every one of our instincts is pushing us to do something rash.

But, we can, of course. We aren’t naturally wired to react to stimuli in any way. We cultivate habits based on what we’re exposed to. And, we can change those habits and those seemingly hard-wired reactions. This was a powerful lesson for me as I always thought of myself as emotional, impulsive and impatient. I could be all those things more often than not but I didn’t need to channel them every time I respond to a situation. They’re habits that needed to be replaced. And, one by one, they’ve made their way out.

Our habits are a by-product of the questions we ask.

It is on us to ask better questions.

HT: Rebecca Rapple – who wrote in yesterday with a note on “what would help?” that inspired this post.