Folks who play the disapproving voice in your head

Most of us have two voices in our head – one that approves of us and another that doesn’t.

The approving voice is where we draw encouragement and positivity from. The disapproving voice, on the other hand, just seeks to make us feel inadequate. Steven Pressfield, in his fantastic book, “The War of Art” speaks of this voice as a part of a destructive force – the resistance.

This post, however, is not about the voice. Instead, it is about the people in our lives who represent it. Every once a while, we spend a lot of time with a person or people who play the role of the disapproving voice. We find ourselves cowering occasionally in fear, feeling un-worthy, and constantly seeking their approval. They are generally the first to tell us that this is a good thing and that they care about our growth. We need hard feedback to grow into better people after all.

I have learnt that there is only constructive action when you meet such a person – run. Run swift and far. Such care you can do without.

But, what about all the great feedback and growth opportunities? Life will give us all the feedback we need. If you really need to learn to prepare better, for instance, you can be sure that you’ll see plenty of evidence of that need in your life.

Day-to-day living is really hard and gives us plenty of opportunities to learn and grow. In a world where it is easy to fall prey to inaccurate comparisons with others’ lives and airbrushed photos, it isn’t hard to find reasons to be discouraged. Instead, it is much harder to be consistently resilient, reflective and balanced so you can keep plugging away and giving whatever you do your best shot.

Of course, if you can find people close to you who seem to be able to do that consistently, hold on tight.

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