Month: April 2017

Equanimity, as a concept, really fascinated me for the longest time. It wasn’t something I managed at any stage in the first 20 odd years of my life. I simply moved up and down with the flow of life. However, writing every day on this blog gave me a sense of balance and perspective that I’d never managed. So, the time felt right to give equanimity a shot. And, the concept that helped me make progress the most was the idea of the life sine wave.

A sinusoidal or sine wave is a curve with periodic oscillations. While a normal sine wave has periodic oscillations, life’s waves aren’t as periodic. But, they’re just as predictable. Some days are “up” days and other days are “down” days. So, if it is an up day, you know there’s a down day coming and vice versa.

The beauty of understanding and accepting this is that you don’t take either kind of day to heart. You understand that this will pass and all you can do is keep plugging away and doing your best.

That acceptance is the first step toward equanimity.

Every once a while, people ask us for advice. This is a privilege. And, like all privilege, it comes with responsibilities.

1. Take a moment, and think about what you are going to say. This is not the time to improvise or ramble. If you don’t have something thoughtful to say, don’t say it. It is okay to take time to think.

2. State your biases. Every thoughtful receiver will spend thinking about what you said. And, in the process, they’ll begin to parse your biases and understand why you said what you said. Save them that trouble. Contrary to what some might think, biased perspective is actually really useful since yours is one of a few perspectives that the receiver is likely listening to. So much better to acknowledge it and move on.

3. Let this be advice to the other person, not to yourself. This is a key major reason for really dumb advice. Too often, people give advice that is really meant for themselves. They rehash their own mistakes and talk about how they might have avoided them. Or, they project their own experiences without considering the receiver’s path and personality. This is all about the receiver – let’s keep that focus.

And, I’ll end with emphasizing what I started with – advice should only be given when it is asked.

I chanced upon a display of Pulitzer prize winning photography. The collection was generally a collection of images that brought light to human strife in various parts of the world. They told a tale of events that ended up being lethal for millions of humans.

I expected disease, famine and starvation to be lethal. But, I was struck by the most lethal killer of them all – humans. Or, more specifically, “man” – as it nearly always was driven by men.

I know the sample probably wasn’t representative. But, in an age when we’ve solved for issues like disease and hunger at an unprecedented scale, our greatest enemy is ourselves.

Or, perhaps more accurately, the stories we tell ourselves. These stories – of “us” and “them,” of “enemies,” or of the relative perfection of our respective faiths, beliefs and ideologies have been most lethal.

It is easy to brush it away as decisions made by “them.” After all, most of us aren’t on the front lines and aren’t in the rooms that declare war.

But, let that not obscure the fact that we have the power to make an impact. The stories that we tell ourselves, our families and our communities have an effect on our collective consciousness. We can choose to tell stories of oneness or division.

The change needs to start from within.

Do good work. Earn your stripes and gain career credit. Then, use this career credit to get access to better opportunities. Then, repeat the process.

Career advice doesn’t have to be complicated.

When in doubt, simply start with doing good work.