You don’t know what I’ve been through

“You don’t know what I’ve been through. If you did, you would understand why I’m behaving this way.”

Sounds great in theory. In practice, “you don’t know what I’ve been through” is the ultimate excuse for jerk behavior.

Of course, they don’t really know. They can’t know. They didn’t experience that bad break up, the passing away of a loved one or get screwed over by someone they trusted. Not in the way it happened to you at least.

But, it doesn’t matter. Adversity is an opportunity for us to learn more about ourselves and become wiser about how the world really works. If you are simply wearing that adversity as a badge to justify bad behavior or if all it did was close your mind to new possibilities, then that experience was, sadly, wasted.

The universe will throw us adversity opportunities every once a while to learn and grow. It is up to us to use them well. When we do, it’ll show in the wisdom behind how we operate. And, when that happens, they will want to know what you have been through and how can they go through similar experiences and grow through them.

If they don’t want to know what you’ve been through, telling them isn’t going to help. As far as people go, pull tends to work much better than push.

2 thoughts on “You don’t know what I’ve been through”

  1. On the flip side, when terrible things happen to me, I like to look around and remind myself: “I don’t know what THEY are going through.” I find thinking that the next guy could possible have it WORSE than me — especially when I think I’ve got it bad — helps me to maintain composure and kindness under stress.

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