Venture capitalist Brad Feld had a fantastic post up yesterday – “Mix strong opinions with big ears.” Go read it.
“I know a lot of people who have strong opinions. I know a lot of other people who are excellent listeners. The venn diagram of the intersection of the two is uncomfortably small.”
I love this. I have strong opinions myself. My ears could be bigger. In Brad’s words –
“Big open ears doesn’t mean that you just listen. It means you are a good listener. An active listener. One who incorporates what he is hearing into the conversation in real time. You are comfortable responding with a modification to an opinion or perspective as a result of new information. You are comfortable challenging, and being challenged, in the goal of getting to a good collaborate answer, rather than just absorbing information but then coming back later as though there was never any information shared.”
One of my favorite wiser friends does this really well. You always feel listened to even if he completely disagrees. And, after you finish, he’ll explain why he feels you’ve missed the point. In contrast, I often let my impatience comes through.
This isn’t easy. It is no wonder Aristotle said “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”
That’s why “mix strong opinions with big ears” is a great line. It is both a guide of an ideal state as well as a guide for what to look for in advisors and sparring partners. I’ll remember this in my next passionate debate. Thanks Brad.
A Learning a Day 