As some of you may know, I just got married this July. A few months prior to marriage, I decided to read a couple of the best marital relationship books available. Dr Harley’s book “His Needs Her Needs” was very highly recommended on the internet and it ended up on my Kindle reading list very soon.
As soon as I began reading his book, I realized this is a book that I must read together with my wife. So, we waited till our honeymoon to read the book together and it turned out to be a wonderful way to really understand each other and what we valued – we knew each other pretty well after 7 years together but this book helped us a lot by giving us a framework with which to think about how we could enjoy the rest of our lives in each other’s company.
Of course, I reached out to Dr Harley post our honeymoon and enjoyed the chat. Hope you enjoy it as much I did!
My favorite quotes –
“I wrote a lot. That’s a good lesson for people who want to become writers. The point is that I didn’t start out with a great deal of talent, but I wrote a lot. Every day I wrote something, and I wrote articles, I wrote ideas that I had.”
“In the first world countries we have now made women equal to men. This is unprecedented in human history. Women were not considered to be smart enough to do any of those things, and in marriage men owned their wives to some extent. He owned her, and she had to obey him. Instead of telling their wives what to do and having them obey, they have to come to an agreement. “
“If you can get a man and a woman to find an enthusiastic agreement, you come up with a wiser choice than what either one of them could have come up with.”
“At Marriage Builders, we want them learning, that’s it. It’s kind of like what you’re doing. You want people to learn. That’s what we’re offering. Here is a learning experience in how to have a great marriage. Use your own judgment to see whether you think it’s worthwhile and it didn’t cost you anything to find out.”
“Our emotional response to someone meeting our emotional needs is so powerful that we’re willing to destroy everything we’ve ever built to have that person in our lives. It makes no sense logically and it has destroyed a lot of people, but people are doing it every day.”
“Those are the two things that bring us happiness in life – our marriage and our faith. “
“I think that the most valuable lesson we can learn in life is thoughtfulness by considering other people before we do things and trying to make sure that we are a messenger of help and support for people who need it. Life is all about caring for each other.”
Full transcript as always on RealLeaders.tv
A Learning a Day 