Depth, sadness, and love songs

Love is the most popular entertainment subject by far. We humans love love. Most movies run with the same predictable script and yet, we still watch them and we still like them.

When it comes to music, I broadly find 2 kinds of love songs – happy love songs and sad love songs.

Happy love songs are well…happy. When you hear a guy say “I just called to say I love you,” or a girl talk about her perfect “love story,” it’s hard not to smile. It stirs up our imagination and reminds us about good times.

But, happy love songs are hardly ever deep. Great love songs, almost always, talk about a sadness, a regret, or even an unlikely dream. Whether it’s “With or without you,” “No, woman, don’t cry,” or “Someone like you,” we all seem to be able to relate to that time when we faced a heartbreak or just had a tough time.

I wonder what it is about sadness that brings about such connection and such depth. But, I think the lesson I take away is that meaningful conversation is not talking about everything being well and good and then moving on to discuss the latest celebrity scandal and the weather. Everything is rarely well and good. (And, when it is, we must celebrate!) Meaningful conversation is when you are willing to talk about those things that have caused you, or are causing you, pain.  It is no wonder that war veterans speak of their comrades which such love and adoration. Great relationships are not those that share happy moments together. Great relationships are those that have survived many a tough time.

Struggle and sadness are an integral part of our life experience. Joy wouldn’t feel good if it wasn’t for pain after all. And, running away from confronting it only makes it worse. We hear about incidents of depression claiming life more often these days. Perhaps it’s because we’ve used texting and tweeting to run away from deep meaningful conversations. Perhaps we could change that by trading a few laughs during our next big meeting with friends to talk about a few things that might actually matter and figure out how we can help each other out.

And, once we do that, perhaps we’ll also learn to laugh at ourselves because that’s a big part of the life learning experience too. :-)

On that note, I wish you a great weekend and will leave you with one of my favourite ‘sad’ love songs. The song is about a scientist who dedicated so much time to his craft that he didn’t tell the woman he loved he loved her. He wishes they could go back to the start..