Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Celebrate them, do.

Death changes us in more ways than we can imagine – just like adversity does. Having lost 2 close relatives young, it has shaped me. There is a longer post here somewhere. I find that my view on death has changed gradually over the many years spent trying to make sense of it.

I’m beginning to see most things in life as a Yoda quote these days and there’s one from Yoda that I find myself appreciating a lot.

“Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.”

I would make a small addition to what I see as a key part of that note.

Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Celebrate them, do. 

I believe in celebrating positive memories. And today, I thought I’d celebrate a special one.

Today is a special day. Today was the birthday of my late uncle (ammavan) who left us 13 years ago way before his time.

And, for a moment, we will go back in time. The day is the 18th day of the 3rd month of the year in the year 1989 when yours truly finally showed up on this planet after putting my mom through no small amount of pain. It’s a bit of consolation that I was a pain even before I showed up. At least I know now that I’m just carrying on what I started doing unconsciously before I got here..

As you would imagine, that was a big day for the family and everybody was at the hospital. A few hours after the delivery, people were slowly being allowed into the room to see the baby. They had to enter in groups and so my dad and grandparents entered first. They all rushed to see the newly born. They were all excited and it was happiness all around.

My ammavan i.e. mom’s younger brother entered the room after the first group of visitors. He, however, walked straight to Mom and spent time with her first, giving her a hug and making sure she was alright. Only after making sure she was alright did he turn to see the latest addition to the household.

Mom reflects on how much this meant to her every time we talk about ammavan.

And it is one of those stories I never get bored of listening to.

I think there’s a lesson in there for all of us.