Short. But Meaningful

It’s been a good 5 years since I left home (Chennai) and 1 year now since I effectively left my 2nd home (Singapore). Thanks to having worked in a start-up almost all through university, my vacations were generally short 2 week affairs as the summer/winter breaks were times suited to focusing on work without the hassle of exams.

That hasn’t changed with work, of course. If anything, the breaks have become shorter.

Over time, I’ve gone through a learning curve when it comes to taking trips back ‘home’ or to ‘home-like’ places to meet loved ones, close friends, family. In my first few trips, I used to try and jam everything and everyone in. So, my breaks were never truly ‘breaks’. They felt like work. And I never had enough of anything. When I was meeting one friend, I had to ensure I was off soon because a whole bunch of such catch ups would be ruined. Heck, I was busier during vacations than any other time of the year!

I also realized I often came back from such ‘breaks’ unsatisfied. They were busy, but not meaningful.

There were 2 big realizations that changed that. The first was the importance of putting ourselves on top of the holiday priority list and the second was by focusing on making catch ups and conversations meaningful.

The first required a lot of practice in terms of using my self discipline muscle to say ‘NO’ when a No was required. And the second has involved a real effort to have few catch ups, but to keep them meaningful.

I was in Singapore for a few days to get my Permanent Residency and this realistically meant one weekend and maybe a couple of other evenings of catch up time. And the focus on keeping it meaningful was, hence, paramount. The way our lives go these days, we can talk so much without really saying anything. And when you live a few thousand miles away and get to meet only for a couple of hours every few months, such conversations can be both frustrating and useless. Meeting friends/loved ones at nice restaurants, at old ‘haunts’ or in a different environment altogether have worked well for me as great environments to catch up. Playing Risk all night with friends, as I always realize, is another fantastic excuse to spend time and connect.  :)

And as is the case with relationships, staying in touch while being away also help us pick up from where we left off. As a friend put it nicely, you can’t tune in and tune out of relationships. You’re either in them or are getting phased out.

There’s no perfect formula to making such meets meaningful. Most of all, I’ve found that it takes a desire to make them count. And I’ve found that I’m quite enjoying such ‘catch up’ trips of late as I’m getting better at managing myself and my energy during these trips. This trip was one such example.

It was short. But meaningful.