for eg: I am arguing with this friend who I just kicked(by mistake) during a football game. I am tempted to shout at him saying ‘You always kick me. I don’t think you think of anything except the ball. And I don’t think you will ever learn because you always do it..’.
The great thing is that this is great feedback! I do know that I need to work on my aggression. However, what makes it difficult to stomach is the ‘always’ bit.. we lose that when are emotional.
The ‘always’ often stops any rational discussion. So, beware generalizing.. :) Having been on both sides of this just like everyone else, I guess I know it is very easy to generalize and infinitely tougher to accept feedback once generalization has been done..
Another question is – what if it is true that it is done always. For eg: if it is something like eating properly with knife and fork. Even then, I feel it is helpful stating the situation that has just occurred.. and if the person is of good character.. he will ask you at some point if he/she can improve..
Now I am assuming that we are helping someone we believe has a good character… :)