A Learning a Day

A remote Amazon tribe connected to high-speed internet via Starlink (article summarizing the coverage – the original from The NYT is paywalled). While the internet undoubtedly helped the Marubo tribe in a collection of cases – access to emergency medical care, the ability to stay in better touch, and access to education and job job opportunities, the challenges are all too familiar.

The tribe have been dealing with teenagers glued to their phones, minors hooked to pornography, group chats full of gossip and explicit content, violent video games, and a widespread unwillingness to do work given access to constant entertainment.

Their solution was to restrict usage. Now, the internet is only on for two hours in the morning, five hours in the evening and on Sundays.

It is a reminder of two things:

(1) Great technology has an equal and opposite dark side. As a result, its impact is what we make of it.

(2) Until we’ve built enough character to regulate internet/phone use, it needs to be regulated. This is why we’re increasingly seeing a push to ban phones from schools – more on that another day.

The biggest challenge with dealing with change is often acknowledging that change has happened.

A question I’ve found useful when we review a document or proposal as a group is – “Does anyone have allergic reactions?”

The ask to anyone with minor feedback is to simply comment on the doc.

Focusing the discussion on allergic reactions instead helps us get straight to the issues that matter… and make progress.

“How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him.” | Frank Herbert, Dune

I often think of the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – when I consider my reaction to setbacks.

This quote brought the wisdom of those first stages together beautifully.

I was picking clothes out of our laundry pile to fold today. As I stared at one garment, I had this fleeting thought – what if I tried to pick two or three at the same time?

It was a fleeting thought because, of course, it wouldn’t work. I can only fold garment at a time with my two hands.

It got me thinking about two conversations I had with teammates toward the end of the week. Both involved reflecting on balls I’d dropped.

I was on a project recently that was all-consuming. These were two of a few other balls I’d dropped along the way.

Now, of course, I could wish that I didn’t drop any balls. But that’s not how all-consuming projects work.

And I’d love to pick them all up and get going. But that’s not how it works either.

All I can do is identify the issue at hand and then take the next right step.

So much of life happens one garment at a time.

A simple rule of thumb with sports – play more sports than you watch.

This becomes more important as we age – with the importance curve being exponential vs. linear.

At the end of every work week, I spend a few minutes reflecting on it. As I look back, I typically remember the screw ups and missteps first.

Then a few good moments pop in to remind me it wasn’t all bad.

Every once a while, there’s a week that had significantly more good moments than bad. And vice versa.

But, most weeks, it is a mixed bag. There are some wins and some losses. I could call it either – it would just depend on my point of view.

Over time, I’ve come to realize that attempting to figure out whether it was a “net” positive or negative is an exercise in futility. It is also besides the point. You don’t know if a good day is a good day. And you certainly have no clue if a week is good or bad for the same reason.

The point of the reflection is to take stock of the good, reflect on the bad, learn from both, and commit to taking the best next step the following week.

The process is all we control. It is all that is worth focusing on.

In the long run, the outcomes work themselves out.

Aristotle defined three kinds of friendship –

1. “Deal friends” or the friendship of utility. These are based on what someone can do for you, or what you can do for another person. This could be the friendship between neighbors who rely on each other or colleagues who need to work together.
   
2. “Fun friends” or the friendship of pleasure. These are based on enjoyment of a shared activity or the pursuit of fleeting pleasures and emotions. This could be the friendship within a pick-up basketball group or a dance class. Similar to deal friends, this type of relationship can end quickly as it is dependent as it is on people’s ever-changing likes and dislikes.
   
3. Real friends or The friendship of virtue. These are the people we like for who they are, who typically influence us positively and push us to be better people. It is based on the character of two self-sufficient people.

It is natural to have deal friends and fun friends in our lives. They’re “easy come, easy go”. Real friendship, on the other hand, requires both strength of character and consistent investment – of time, energy, and often money.

But, of all our friendships, it is this group of real friends that have a long-term impact on our happiness.

Prioritize them, we must.

Often, the biggest breakthrough is at the moment when we realize that the situation isn’t about to change, and that the only option we have is to change how we approach it.

A friend recently started “Designer Discount Club” based on a simple premise – you shouldn’t need to pay retail prices on quality furniture or home decoration.

Interior designers get sizeable discounts on these purchases. She’s now made those discounts accessible to everyone. We tried DDC for two purchases recently – it is simple and it works.

It got me thinking about other such insider discounts and “velvet ropes” that I don’t pay attention to – except in the case of outlier financial transactions.

That was when I reminded myself of the trade-offs of a satisficer strategy. I miss many opportunities to maximize every day and likely lose a lot of money because of that commitment to simplicity. Every strategy has trade-offs.

But that makes me even more grateful to businesses like DDC which make it simple to save money. A win-win. Good luck DDC team – wishing you lots of growth in the years ahead.

PS: If you’re in the market for some home decor or furniture, feel free to use this referral link to skip the waitlist.