A good friend shared an exchange with their therapist. The question, at hand, was a variant of – “What is the best way to say <some difficult thing>?”
To which, the therapist said – “How would you say it to me or to another friend?”
And once this friend responded, the therapist simply said – “Just say it like that.”
It resonated.
Often, the answers we seek come from the unexpected sources.
The key is to focus on the answer and ignore our feelings about the particular source or its unexpected nature.
There’s a folk tale about a fisherwoman* who goes to visit her friend. Her friend sold flowers for a living and lived in a home full of beautiful smells from flowers – a contrast to the strong smells (stink?) of fish.
However, the fisherwoman has difficulty sleeping at night. Eventually, she realizes that she just misses the smells of her home. She remembers that she brought her fish basket with her. So she brings the fish basket close to her head and finally falls off to sleep.
I’ve remembered this story many a time over the years. It reminds us of a simple idea – to each their own.
Someone’s discard pile might have the stuff of our dreams. And vice versa.
Self-awareness and an acceptance of what matters to us goes a long way in helping us shape the life we consider good.
The more we understand this and align ourselves with people who value similar things, the more peaceful our lives will be.
*PS: There’s another western folk tale about a town mouse and country mouse that also drives home a similar lesson.
Grasslands need to burn from time to time. That burning creates the opportunity for fresh grass to grow. That fresh grass, in turn, helps feed the many herbivores who rely on it for nutrients.
I think it has parallels in our lives as well. It is good to set fire to our routines and recurring meetings from time to time. That reset creates space for new ideas and systems.
What got us here won’t get us there.
We have to let go of what was and what could have been to have a shot at enjoying or making the most of what is.
A reminder for today – take a few minutes to turn off all the technology and smell the roses.
When we stick with problems over long periods of time, every once a while, we have a moment of clarity. Dots begin to connect in ways they didn’t connect before.
Moments of clarity are rare. There’s a reason they’re often depicted as bolts of lightning in books.
My biggest learning when such a moment arrives is to put everything else aside and take the time to write it down. I treat it like a burst of energy – it needs to be harnessed right. Once harnessed, that flash of energy can inspire a period of sustained productivity.
Earn them by staying with meaningful problems for long periods of time.
Then, make them count.
We recently switched checking accounts to Schwab after a decade with Bank of America. There’s a lot to like about Schwab – no fee ATM withdrawals globally, some interest on that checking account, and so on.
But two months in, I’ve loved one feature most – they pick up the phone.
Calling Bank of America to get things done was a chore I hated. It typically involved an hour’s wait (no callback options) and I only did it if there was no other option. The Schwab team picks up within seconds and is always helpful. So much so that I’d move more business to Schwab in a heartbeat.
Most financial institutions see customer service as a cost center and spend years relentlessly watering down service to cut costs. Schwab clearly sees it as a way to drive retention and new business.
It shows.
I rented camera lenses from Lensrentals.com. The rental logistics were seamless. But what impressed me was the box.
It started with the message on the tape in the middle. Simple and nice.
It then had a note reminding me to double check the contents. “We’re the best, but no one’s perfect” was hilarious.
And then came the note on the tape they left with the return label. Epic.
A beautiful example of craftsmanship and doing small things with extraordinary care.
Well played, Lensrentals team. Thank you for the inspiration.
“Might be time to get some fresh air, start paying attention to the details. Some of those details might need your help” | Blake to Bruce Wayne
One of my favorite lines from Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy was this line from Blake (who would go on to become Robin) to Bruce Wayne. It is just as relevant for every organizational leader* as it was for Batman.
As you lead larger organizations, it is important to be able to delegate. But the ability to dig deep into the details conversely only increases with time. And it is especially when it is accompanied by good judgment that helps you understand which details are worth digging into.
A Learning a Day 