A characteristic of the most successful products is that they become invisible over time.
We don’t notice lights or air conditioners or even computers. These products got so good that they became default choices and stopped requiring us to think about them.
Invisibility is only reserved for truly great products.
Negative emotions like frustration and anger can motivate groups just fine in the short run. So much so that they can be mistaken for effectiveness – when all they do is eke out some efficiency.
In the long run, however, it is the positive stuff – our ability to be consistently optimistic, constructive, and upbeat – combined with good judgment that makes the difference.
If good apologies are quick, specific, and sincere, I completely bungled one the other day. I didn’t just make an excuse – I sought to blame the other person.
It took me a while to recover and get to the apology eventually. But it was too late by then. The moment had passed.
I was reflecting on the circumstances that led to that sort of behavior. And then realized that good habits exist despite circumstances.
For there always are extenuating circumstances.
Here’s to better apologies then – the kind that are quick, specific, and sincere.
The other day, I dropped of our second for the last day of pre-K. At the end of this summer, both our kids will now be public school students.
It so happened that I’d miscalculated his last day. I thought it was the following day. So when I realized that I had indeed dropped him off on his last day, I felt a certain sadness.
And after that momentary lull, I realized there was nothing to be sad about. Every drop off was special and I’d made the most of them. That, in turn, is in no small part thanks to this video by Gretchen Rubin – the days are long but the years are short.
I first watched it before I became a parent and I’ve shared it a few times over the years.
Thanks to this ~1 minute video, I’ve remembered to be grateful for the opportunity to enjoy a couple of quiet minutes every day I drop them off. In this case, I had a year with separate drop off stops and that meant some precious time with our second. I did my best to avoid calls (my team knew there was some variability in that early morning call) and just enjoy listening to some music together.
Our walk from the car to drop off was short – but always special. Especially because we always held hands and I enjoyed being able to plant many goodbye kisses. I don’t expect both of those privileges to last long in coming years.
Were it not for that video, I could have easily fallen into the trap that she fell into – taking this privilege for granted. I vividly remember thinking about it when I happily carried one of them when they wanted to be carried. I was in no rush to have either of them walk – I savored that phase while it lasted.
And I still think of its message often – when I drop them off to school, when we hang out outdoors together, and nearly always as we listen to some quiet music as part of our bedtime routine.
There’s a lot I could do better as a parent. Especially of late. I haven’t gotten my work week under control and that’s meant needing more rest over the weekends. I’ve made many mistakes over the years – especially in the early years – and done my best to learn from them. But, thanks to this video, I’ve done my best to savor every bit of time we’ve spent together – both the ordinary and extraordinary moments.
The days are long, but the years are indeed short.
In the video’s description, Gretchen Rubin wrote – “Of everything I’ve ever written, I think this one-minute video is the thing that resonates most with people.”
It may well be true. This has both resonated and transformed how I’ve lived in the past years. Thank you.
“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” | Unknown
It resonated.
No amount of coaching or optimization can help someone navigate in London with the map of New York. It would be wasted effort everyone involved. This example makes it blindingly obvious.
And yet, it is so easy to fall into this trap in our day-to-day. Navigating today’s challenges with yesterday’s assumptions, attempting to solve tomorrow’s problems with outdated mental models, and so on.
Take the time to make sure you’re working with the right map. The rest are micro-optimizations in comparison.
One of the fascinating thing about habits is that it is easier to commit to the same thing at a higher frequency/level of consistency than not.
It is easier in my opinion to commit to writing or exercising every day/weekday or week than doing so every month.
Every completed action builds momentum. Then inertia takes over – objects in motion are more likely to stay in motion.
“Forgiveness is accepting the apology you will never get.” | Kevin Kelly
Profound.
#OurWorldIsAwesome – Edition 1
It’s been a year since we visited Grand Canyon National Park and I still find myself reflecting on my time there. Every beautiful place or National Park I go to inspires a word. For this park, the word was awe. It is hard to look at the landscape and not feel that sense of awe.
I reflect on my time at the park whenever I think of the power of having a go at a problem over a long period of time (as in this reflection). I also reflect on it when I think of energy associated with a place. Our family reflected on a mystic energy in the place – perhaps borne out of that sense of awe. It touched the spirit.
And perhaps there’s just something special about experiences that remind us of our insignificance. The Grand Canyon has thrived over millions of years – it inspires humility without trying to. And, most of all, it reminds me to do my best with the time I have, and to be kind – the world will roll on just fine without us.
PS: 3 tips if you’re planning a visit –
(1) As a general rule in every National Park, I recommend staying in lodges inside the park. The location is worth it. The lodges in the Grand Canyon are exceptionally good.
(2) If you travel in the summer like we did, it gets very hot in the afternoons. Ideally, you live like the wildlife (and while it isn’t talked about, we had some stunning experiences near Elk in the park) and spend time outdoors during dawn (4am-9am to catch sunrise) and dusk (4pm onward for sunset). It’s great to get indoors and catch a nap in the afternoon.
(3) Every viewpoint on both sides is beautiful – but some are much better than the others. Our favorites were Shoshone point (at the end of a hike – a ~2 mile round trip), Yavapai Point, and Pima Point (sunset). If we weren’t traveling with young kids, we’d have done the hike to Shoshone point for sunrise. Yavapai Point is a great alternative.
I was admiring this sedimentary rock this weekend. The beautiful thing about a sedimentary rock is that you can see its story in its layers. There are thousands of years of stories in those colors – stories that tell us of the changes it has seen.
It occurred to me that we’re not all that different. While the scale of time we experience doesn’t compare with that beautiful rock, we too go through experiences that change us. We carry scar tissue, joy, sadness, and wisdom from these experience.
Except unlike the rock, our stories aren’t on display.
Maybe they should be. Maybe we ought to ditch chronological and professional introductions that speak to a few milestones and instead replace them with the experiences that shaped us.
Perhaps we ought to be more transparent about our story – much like that rock.
A Learning a Day 