Most people won’t

I was reminded of a wonderful post by venture capitalist Bryce Roberts.

Most people want to be fit, most people aren’t.

Most people want to build a successful business, most people won’t.

Most people want to be the best version of themselves, most people aren’t.

Most people have dreams they want to fulfill, most people won’t.

Everyone wants to quit something, build something, be something, do something. Most people won’t.

How many things have we wanted? How many opportunities have we craved? How many broken things have we wanted to fix? 

And how many of those have we shrunk from. Hid from. Or, excused away.

We’re not alone.

Most people won’t.

But every once in a while someone puts themselves out there. Makes the leap. Faces rejection or failure or worse. And comes out the other side. Better. Changed. Bolder.

Most people won’t. Which means those that do change everything.


It resonated – both because of its wisdom but also because of its manifesto-like character.

A balm for our souls

In moments when we need a lift, many of us turn to music. We listen to songs that feel like a balm for our souls.

I turn to songs like New Slang, Yeh Pal, The Shape of Us, Heartbeats, Kho Gaye Hum Kahan, Re:Stacks, and Janeman among others. Each of these songs and the many others I turn to evoke different memories and remind me of what matters.

They help me dig deep into whatever it is I’m feeling, accept it, and help me find my way back by reminding me of the many times I’ve been there before.

I often think about just how big a gift this is. For centuries, listening to great music was a privilege only enjoyed by royalty.

Widespread access to the incredible music around the world is a phenomenon that is just a couple of decades old.

A wonder that is so easy to take for granted.

A wonder I’m deeply grateful for.

The wrong map and the wrong game

There’s no point giving yourself directions to a destination and expecting yourself to reach it if you’re using the wrong map.

And there’s no point changing your strategy and expecting victory if you’re playing the wrong game.

There’s no point screaming in frustration in either case.

It’s like complaining about gravity.

From time to time, it is helpful to take a step back and ask ourselves if we’re using the right map and playing the right game.

It starts with becoming aware about the game we’re playing, being clear about what we want to get out of it, and then making the right moves.

3 liters

In a conversation about fitness recently, we talked about water intake. I knew this was an area I wasn’t paying enough attention to. So I did some quick math.

The recommended average intake for males is ~3.7L per day. Multiple sources I checked were remarkably consistent on this. So, using this as the baseline, the next step was to subtract the fluids gotten from food – that’s about 20%. So, we’re looking at a number close to 3L per day.

I walk around with a 0.5L bottle. A quick look at the trends from the previous week is that I typically did 2 or so full refills of that bottle. So, I’m in the range of 1-1.5L or between 33% and 50% of the recommended levels.

In one word, abysmal.

It was a good wake up call. I’ve begun changing up my systems – e.g., drinking one bottle as soon as I’m up – to make a step-change here. Time to start climbing those stairs.

Days and moments

A good friend has a parent who is in their 80s with Alzheimers. When I asked this friend how it went after a recent visit, they said – “It was a good day. It is all I can hope for. Our lives are lived one day at a time after all.”

It was a poignant sentiment.

I think of this idea from time to time as part of our goodnight routine with our kids. Those moments are often the most precious of them all. There’s something special about those small conversations or just us listening to some calming music just as waves of sleep hit them. I often just wish I could bottle those moments.

All we have is each other at the end of the day. And a few special moments… or days if we’re lucky.

There can never be enough reminders of this. It is on us to be present and make them count.

Elevators and stairs – two approaches to building habits

There’s one approach to building habits that I call “the elevator approach.” In this approach, you’re on the ground floor when you start. You paint the picture of where you want to go – e.g., I don’t exercise today – but, this year, I expect to exercise five times per week. That goal might be the equivalent of the 5th floor on your exercise habit building.

Then, with a flourish, you press the elevator to come and get you.

The other approach is the “stairs approach.” You simply take a first step – i.e., you go from exercise zero times per week to once. It might just be a ten minute workout. But it is better than nothing. Then, you increase the quantity or frequency or quality, and so on.

For instance, this is how I’ve changed my workouts in the past 4 years.

2020: Time to become aware of how little I’ve been taking care of myself – get an Apple Watch. Then attempt to just close the 3 rings. But with COVID and two young kids, I barely manage this.

2021: Close my rings significantly more often. My exercise ring is closed by walking outdoors on most days. I manage an occasional morning run.

2022: I want closing rings to be a habit most weekdays. I also want to substitute 15 mins of an outdoor walk with an Apple Fitness+ workout. This happens roughly half the time.

2023: I get a virtual personal trainer on Future. For half the year, I manage to do a 15 min workout nearly every weekday. After reading Outlive, I add a 10 min run for some regular Zone 2 + VO2 max training. Also begin to bring back an hour of soccer every week.

2024: Convert to 2 days per week personal training with ~1 hour workouts. For the remaining weekdays, doing a mix of running and Fitness+ workouts.

It’s still early in 2024. But I know that I’ve walked up a few more stairs vs. 2023. And I’ll continue to climb up more stairs as time passes.

That’s the secret about building habits – that there is likely no secret elevator that is going to take us where we want to go.

We love stories about people who manage to make the elevator approach work for them. That’s no different from loving the stories of people who made hundreds of million dollars in one go.

It might work for a few – but it is likely not the strategy you want to bank on. As a rule, we’re better off assuming it won’t work for us.

So, skip the elevator and take the stairs – both in our approach to habits and in our daily lives.