Category: Everything else

“It’s remarkable how often the real problem is not what happened, but how it was communicated.” | James Clear

 This resonated.

“Most of the time, it isn’t about having a gift. It is about having grit.” | Roger Federer’s commencement address at Dartmouth College

I watched Federer’s warm and humorous commencement address and noticed he made the point about overcoming fierce competition and hard moments multiple times. He started by sharing that his effortless style is a myth. It took a lot of effort to make it look effortless.

He also didn’t read off a printed piece of paper – I’m sure no effort was spared to make it look effortless.

He then went onto make a beautiful point about playing points. Federer won 80% of his matches but only 54% of his points.

“When you’re playing a point, it is the most important thing in the world. But when it’s behind you, it’s behind you.”

“This mindset is really crucial, because it frees you to fully commit to the next point… and the next one after that… with intensity, clarity and focus. The truth is, whatever game you play in life… sometimes you’re going to lose. A point, a match, a season, a job… it’s a roller coaster, with many ups and downs. And it’s natural, when you’re down, to doubt yourself. To feel sorry for yourself. And by the way, your opponents have self-doubt, too. Don’t ever forget that.

But negative energy is wasted energy. You want to become a master at overcoming hard moments. That to me is the sign of a champion.”

Develop your grit. Focus on the point. And if you do both and put in enough effort, you might just make it all look effortless.

Thanks Roger.

I first heard and wrote about this idea a year ago and have found myself repeating it many times since – both for the benefit of others and as reminders to self.

It is tempting to find ourselves over-reacting when faced with change. Change often heightens our insecurities and those insecurities often have us reaching for security and self-preservation.

These instincts are simultaneously understandable and counter productive. Change means navigating muddy waters and it just isn’t a good idea to fish in muddy waters

It is best to summon our reserves of patience and wait for things to play out.

Don’t fish in muddy waters.

We’ve been working with a personal trainer since the beginning of the year. An observation I had as we started our latest session is that I, nearly always, have had a readymade excuse for either not showing up or not completing the session as planned.

These weren’t lame excuses either. They’ve been some combination of needing to attend to something at work or just tiredness at the end of a week (one of the two sessions is on Friday). They’ve always felt legitimate in the moment.

The lesson here is that our lives are a series of extenuating circumstances. There’s no point waiting for that perfect day when they don’t exist.

We make and keep the commitments that matter – and thus earn our integrity – in spite of them.

The simplest way to be young is to walk around with curiosity. Youth and energy flow from curiosity and a willingness to experiment.

The flip side is also true.

The simplest way to be old is to walk around resisting new experiences and learning.

Age is just a number.

Frustration is a tell-tale sign that we’re spending too much time outside our circle of influence.

When we change to focus on our circle of influence instead, that frustration gives way to agency.

A remote Amazon tribe connected to high-speed internet via Starlink (article summarizing the coverage – the original from The NYT is paywalled). While the internet undoubtedly helped the Marubo tribe in a collection of cases – access to emergency medical care, the ability to stay in better touch, and access to education and job job opportunities, the challenges are all too familiar.

The tribe have been dealing with teenagers glued to their phones, minors hooked to pornography, group chats full of gossip and explicit content, violent video games, and a widespread unwillingness to do work given access to constant entertainment.

Their solution was to restrict usage. Now, the internet is only on for two hours in the morning, five hours in the evening and on Sundays.

It is a reminder of two things:

(1) Great technology has an equal and opposite dark side. As a result, its impact is what we make of it.

(2) Until we’ve built enough character to regulate internet/phone use, it needs to be regulated. This is why we’re increasingly seeing a push to ban phones from schools – more on that another day.

The biggest challenge with dealing with change is often acknowledging that change has happened.

A question I’ve found useful when we review a document or proposal as a group is – “Does anyone have allergic reactions?”

The ask to anyone with minor feedback is to simply comment on the doc.

Focusing the discussion on allergic reactions instead helps us get straight to the issues that matter… and make progress.

“How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him.” | Frank Herbert, Dune

I often think of the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – when I consider my reaction to setbacks.

This quote brought the wisdom of those first stages together beautifully.