Category: Everything else

Broken or imbalanced

When things go wrong, we have the choice to either see them as broken or as a result of an imbalance in our approach. For example, issues may have resulted from moving too fast/too slow/too recklessly/too thoughtfully.

If we broke something, we are left with a limited set of next steps – typically mourn it or regret it/deal with the emotions, clean up the pieces, reflect on the learning, and move on. The hardest of these is dealing with the unpleasant feelings that follows breaking something valuable.

If we believe the situation went south because of an imbalance in our approach, on the other hand, the future is rife with possibilities. Sure, there may be a few tricky situations that need resolution. But, we get to approach them with the optimism that there’s a way back – we just need to do the work to right the balance.

Every once in a rare while, we do find ourselves dealing with situations where something was broken. But, for the rest of the time, at least in my experience, we’re dealing with consequences of an imbalance.

As a result, I’ve come to realize that approaching such situations as an opportunity to re-balance is a better, more constructive, way forward than treating something as broken.

Optimism is a self fulfilling prophecy.

What consistently good communicators do

What consistently good communicators do: Prepare thoroughly, show up on time, seek to understand, be thoughtful about their contributions, pay attention to non-verbal cues, and follow up.

When they do all of this, they succeed in reaching the people they’re speaking to in the right context – unerringly.

It turns out that being a consistently good communicator is largely determined by what we do when we’re not trying to communicate.

Complimenting others when they’re not around

When you’re complimenting people you work with or know without them knowing, find a few moments to go back and let them know what you said.

I’ve often heard folks (or, in some cases, me) say some version of – “Of course she knows how much I appreciate her.”

I’ve come to realize that they often don’t know. And, even if they do, a small action like that can have a big impact on their day.

These small things are the big things in the long run.

Filing tax returns

As we get to wrapping up filing our tax returns for the year, I am left with one checkpoint and one reflection.

The checkpoint is the annual exercise of making the final update on the box on our accounts sheet that calculates savings for the year from Income – Expenses – Taxes. It is helpful to reinforce where we landed for 2018 and how each of these is trending from one year to the next.

The reflection revolves around everything these taxes pay for – including the infrastructure that I often take for granted. The quality of a society’s infrastructure determines the overall productivity. And, I’m grateful for the opportunity to contribute – in a small way – toward making the baseline a bit better for everyone.

Spending money where we spend our time

One of the better pieces of advice I’ve received when it comes to spending money was – “Money well spent is generally spent either on experiences or where you spend your time.”

The second half of the advice has been particularly helpful over the years as we’ve made purchase decisions. Investments in a nice mattress, comfortable daily wear clothes and shoes, nutritious food, and ergonomic work equipment tend to have a high return-on-investment.

The uhm ah project – unconscious popularity

A quick update on my quest to remove filler words like “uhm,” “ah,” and “like.

As I’ve been attempting to dial up my awareness for when I (and others) do it, I’ve noticed something interesting – I’ve been in a few conversations where these words were among the most frequently used words.

Isn’t it amazing that a collection of words which are used unconsciously can be the most dominant words used in a conversation?

The default setting is powerful.

Awareness of base assumptions

As time passes, I am learning to be more aware of my base assumptions.

By default, I wouldn’t notice a few things in my day – a peaceful night of sleep, functioning limbs, food when I’m hungry, a bathroom when I need it, water, and fresh air.

And, yet, if any of these were in doubt, my whole world would crumble.

It may not be realistic to be constantly aware of these base assumptions. But, I’m learning to remind myself to be more aware.

That means starting with taking a few seconds to be thankful for a peaceful night of sleep on a comfortable bed. It continues with a few more seconds feeling aware of my (mostly) functioning limbs. And, it means continuing to take a few seconds at different points of the day to appreciate the small things more.

The impact that a few seconds of such awareness has on me is amazing.

I’m hopeful I’ll be able to do more of this.

Work hard now so you can have it easy later

“Work hard now so you can have it easy later.”

The problem with that idea is that it places overdue importance on some arbitrary milestone – a certain promotion or some net worth number.

As long as we’re focused on solving problems that matter, we are never set. We don’t ever get to rest easy.

But, with some luck and accumulated privilege, putting in the work now does make it easier to create the sort of optionality that enables us to direct that hard work onto areas that feel less like work and more like play.

Puzzles, not problems

Tom Tunguz shared a note on his blog from a survivor of the class of 1943 in the alumni magazine –

“Imagine-75 years ago-our Commencement date was listed as January 1, 1943. Our “last supper” date was December 12, 1942. It was in the main dining room. President Hopkins and Arthur Hayes Sulzberger, president and publisher of the New York Times, were the keynote speakers. No pomp, no valedictorian, no honorary degrees, no cap and gown, no family. The dinner ended with hugs and tears eyes. We scattered in different directions the next morning. We were facing World War II in its darkest moments…91% of the class was headed for the armed forces.”

He went on to share the poignant experience of reading his grandfather’s diary from WWII and his gratitude at waking up every day to solve puzzles, not problems.

Puzzles, not problems.

It is easy to forget that as we roll from one day to the next.

I share that gratitude.