Category: Everything else

One of the more important work lessons is to be someone who knows how to say no.

Every once in a while, you will see a horrible idea being proposed. When that happens, you need to be unequivocally clear that your answer is a “no way.”

In all the other cases, the goal isn’t to shut an idea down with a “no”. It’s to help others understand what it would take to get to yes, and to help them get there.

It’s an easily forgotten truth: the job isn’t about pointing out why something won’t work. It’s about using critical thinking and healthy skepticism to strengthen the eventual solution.

Saying no is easy.

Helping someone get to a better yes – that’s leadership.

It is amazing how the answer to so many conundrums in our lives and careers becomes so much clearer when we are able to answer the question – what are you solving for?

One of the signs of being well-rested is that the body doesn’t need an alarm to wake up.

It knows enough to wake us up early when there’s work that needs to be done.

Rest well enough, and our body and its internal clock work in sync.

Beware spending your life seeking validation from people who don’t really care about you.

It’s one of the easiest traps to fall into – shaping your choices and maybe even your dreams around the approval of people whose opinions won’t matter in the long run.

When in doubt, focus on the validation of the person you see in the glass.

“You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
and get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you have cheated the man in the glass.” – The Man In The Glass by Peter Dale Winbrow Sr

Someone said recently that their partner has a simple maxim – in the final analysis after this life is done, the only question you’ll be asked is – did you make the most of your gifts?

It is a beautiful question.

A reminder to do the best we can with what we have where we are.

There can never be enough such reminders.

I came across this thought provoking post titled “Why Architecture Matters.”

It starts by explaining the “why” behind Gothic architecture.

Staying in London, take the example of Westminster’s great Gothic church. Its pointed arches and lofty spires give the sense of upward movement. Its wide base adds a feeling of groundedness and solidity. Its fine embellishments like stained glass and carved arches suggest that even on the grandest of scales, no detail is too small to be overlooked.

This style of building emerged in Europe in the 12th and 13th centuries, and is a perfect reflection of the deepest beliefs of Europe in the late middle ages. Medieval architects took for granted that man’s purpose was to journey toward heaven, which is why they built a sense of upward motion into their cathedrals. Yet they also knew that in order to do so, you must stay grounded in your earthly life — and thus they gave their buildings a solid foundation, both functionally and visibly.

Most importantly, however, they believed that beauty has moral power. The designers wanted to create a building that would ennoble and inspire every person who walked in. They filled their churches with painstaking detail so that every aspect offered an encounter with the kind of beauty that draws man toward the divine.

It then makes a powerful point – Whether a building’s designers are conscious of it or not, architecture always tells the story of a culture’s values. That’s why if you want to know what your culture believes today, you should look at what it builds.

In doing so, it examines the difference between architecture in the US vs. Hungary. American cities are designed around the car. Perhaps it means efficiency is valued more than beauty – a result of a mindset focused on productivity.

Prague, on the other hand, looks and feels different – a result of a culture that prioritized beauty, prayer, connection to the past, and staying connected to one’s community.

It ends with a beautiful note.

In an age that claims all beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it’s worth reminding ourselves that architecture is never neutral. In fact, it is arguably the best physical embodiment of what a culture believes and how it lives. It is shaped first by our values, and then reinforces those same values in us.

Next time you go out, be sure to take a close look at your house, your church, your pub, your city. Try to read the values that underlie the physical building. What do you see?

And perhaps more importantly, what would you like to see instead?

It resonated.

I find it useful to contemplate your own insignificance in the universe from time to time.

Maybe one person from any given generation will be remembered a thousand years from now – that is, if humans are lucky to still inhabit the planet a thousand years from now.

For the rest of us, our time here is brief. We might influence a few members of the next generation, perhaps even the one after that, if we’re lucky.

But not much more.

When you sit with that insignificance, it puts everything into perspective.

Nobody outside really cares. The striving, the titles, the noise – all of it fades quickly.

What’s left is you, and your ability to find balance – between striving and equanimity, between contribution and peace.

Because in the final analysis, what counts is simple:

that you did your best,

with what you had,

and made the most of the time you were given.

The more I experience life, the more I realize that happiness is a combination of two things – a sense of contribution and a sense of peace.

They can feel like opposing forces.

Contribution pulls us outward – toward action, effort, and usefulness.

Peace pulls us inward – toward acceptance, stillness, and letting go.

But they’re not opposites. They’re complementary.

We’re wired to contribute – to feel useful, to make a difference in some way. Yet peace comes from releasing attachment to outcomes, from not wishing to be someone else, somewhere else, or chasing validation.

Happiness, then, is the balance between the two: where we give ourselves to a cause that’s bigger than us and where we possess the perspective to let the universe unfold as it should.

I was speaking with someone recently who was seeking clarity on the path forward on their career. As we talked through the options ahead, I found myself returning to a simple three part framework I use:

1. Be clear about what you’re solving for.

At any given point, you can only truly optimize for one or two things – factors like learning, balance, growth, compensation, or impact. Clarity here anchors everything else.

Pro tip: Write it down.

Keep a written version you can reference. There’s something about the act of writing that forces clarity. It helps you see what you’re truly solving for versus what just sounds good.

2. Articulate the trade-offs of what you’re solving for.

When you choose to optimize for a few things, you’re implicitly giving up others. That’s not failure, it’s the sign of a good strategy. The key is to know what you’re giving up and make peace with it.

3. Keep re-evaluating every 6-12 months.

What you’re solving for today might not be what you’ll solve for six months from now. It almost certainly won’t be what you’re solving for two years from now. Revisit the equation often.

If you’re clear about what you’re solving for, aware of the trade-offs, and willing to re-evaluate – you’re making thoughtful choices.

And ultimately, that’s the best any of us can do.

There’s a measure on the Apple Watch called VO₂ max that I check from time to time.

VO₂ max is an estimate of cardiovascular health – how efficiently your body uses oxygen during exercise. The Apple Watch measure is not perfectly accurate, but it works as a directional indicator.

Recently, I took a break from my 15-minute morning hill runs for a 2 weeks period – first while recovering from being under the weather, then while traveling.

When I checked again, my VO₂ max had dropped a notch.

Our bodies don’t lie.

Our fitness is just the sum of small, consistent actions – and the absence of them shows up quickly.

Consistency compounds.