Category: Everything else

We can double our productivity by simply becoming twice as hard to annoy.

Easier said than done of course.

But there also aren’t as many levers that provide comparable return on investment.

The question – “Will this matter if I knew I was dying tomorrow/in the next 6 months?” – is a guaranteed source of perspective and clarity.

“The conductor of an orchestra doesn’t make a sound. They depend, for their power, on the ability to make other people powerful.” | Ben Zander

As do all leaders.

Whether or not they know it.

Occam’s razor is a philosophy principle that makes a simple claim – if an event has two possible explanations, assume the simpler explanation with fewer assumptions is correct.

The more the assumptions, the more unlikely the explanation.

I’ve found that applying this principle to problems in relationships leads to one answer – communication.

Most problems in relationships are issues with what is communicated and then how it is communicated. And these problems are caused because the communicator assumes their preferred “what” and “how” is what the receiver prefers as well.

And of course, that is almost never the case.

I got flustered/frustrated a couple of times recently. Reflecting on them, there were a couple of obvious reminders.

For example, I was short on sleep and more susceptible to frustration. I wasn’t communicating well either – likely compounded by the tiredness. Regardless, I should have known and done better.

But the biggest reminder of them all was just how useless it was. Being flustered and frustrated was a charade that accomplished nothing and made me and everyone around me feel worse.

Skip the tantrum. It is called a tantrum for a reason.

“At the highest levels of any kind of competitive discipline, everyone is great. At this point the decisive factor is rarely who knows more, but who dictates the tone of the battle. For this reason, almost without exception, champions are specialists whose styles emerge from profound awareness of their unique strengths, and who are exceedingly skilled at guiding the battle in that direction.” | Josh Waitzkin, The Art of Learning.

I love this note.

Josh, a child chess prodigy, describes the process of his falling out of love with chess beautifully in this part of the book. A big part of that was being coached to play in a style that didn’t suit his strengths or natural approach.

But, to his point, it is an idea – like all great ideas – that has widespread applicability. Leading teams, for example, works just the same way. The best leaders lead in a way that suits their style in contexts and organizations that suit their strengths.

Understanding ourselves and placing ourselves in teams and contexts that suit our unique strengths may be among the most important things we do.

Not every stimulus requires a response.

Wisdom is being able to choose which ones to let go while ensuring the ones that need a response get one that’s appropriate.

I joined a couple of folks who were kicking around a football/soccer ball in a park with a couple of small sized goal posts. There was a spunky young kid playing in goal with 3 of us taking shots.

When the ball was passed to me, I curled a couple of beautiful goals in. Top corner, hard to stop.

A few minutes later, a bigger adult swapped as the goalkeeper. My remaining 3 shots were all over the place – nowhere near the goal.

Somehow, the sight of the bigger goalkeeper got me shooting everywhere but the goal. In my attempts to outdo this keeper, I couldn’t get the basics right. In that process, my odds of beating this keeper went straight to zero.

It got me thinking about how we can often lose battles completely in our heads. More often than not, simple is best.

But simple is hard.

Some days you’re the driver…and some days you’re just along for the ride, whether you intended it or not.

The best thing you can do on such days is make the best of it, get some rest, and start afresh the next day.

Show me where you draw your boundaries, and I’ll show you your priorities.